Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene

Iamhere · ~*Service Worker*~

Courage to Change 6/12

Debb · ~*Service Worker*~

Thank you Iamhere for your service and ESH!

I try to work Step 10 on a daily basis. To keep the focus on my perspective and stay in the present.

For example, I had to call a specialist for an appointment to get a second opinion. I was curtly told

that I needed a referral. My insurance does not require a referral, but that did not matter to the

person on the end of the line. I became a bit frustrated, but it was mainly frustration with the fact

that I even had to do this second opinion phone call to begin with, and I immediately apologized to

the person I was speaking with. I politely hung up called and got the referral I needed and continued

and got an appointment. Step 10 works when you work it.

{{HUGS}} to MIP Family today!!

It is a cool wet dreary Saturday today, but will make do!! Had to take my cat to the vet yesterday and

he is on the mend. Seems he has allergies and his outer ears get inflamed. Glad he does not have

an ear canal infection. He is really happy about those drops though. biggrin

Daffodils · Senior Member

Good Morning lamhere. Thanks for your service/ESH and Debb for your share. You both kicked up my spirits a notch (or two). (smile). I got a chuckle from the words "brain run wild" because I had to tell myself this morning I am not a character in a Stephen King novel with telekinetic powers...was resenting having to carry the load on chores in the house...Back to step 10...key word: immediately . I had a mini meltdown at the bank yesterday-ATM failed to spit out my cash! The process involved to credit my account irked me . I had to return minutes later to apologize to the teller for blasting her. She does not set the rules...was worse because I once worked for a bank and know the drill . I now have energy to do all the chores and get outdoors after reading your posts. It's gorgeous here today. Have a fantastic day.

JerryF · ~*Service Worker*~

Good morning family!! I just entertained the emotion of satisfaction and joy after reading the above posts. You started it IAH....!! Thanks!!. It came easily, readily, and I am grateful again that the program has evolved in my life as natural and habitual. I was doing an inventory of my past life with my son-in-law yesterday after a graduation celebration where my step daughter works. At one point they were playing some pop music and alone on the floor I could not, would not stand still. I boogied a bit and some of the guest laughed at the 78 year old "doing it". I can still have fun and cause it too. None of them knew that the Al-Anon program was in play...only me and I felt happy!! My wife knew cause she had done her version of happiness and joy before me...I laughed cause when family looked at my reaction they had no idea that presently we do not dance together yet. I thought, "if I ever get caught by those hips I will need and ambulance.

No alcohol yet...soooo sober, clean and sane.

The inventory with my son in law sounded sad even while I remembered it was active years (almost 40) ago. I told him my life changed dramatically when I cleaned myself up and learned a must different way of living today. Thank you God and the hundreds of others like the fellowship here who have shared their recoveries with me.

Again thanks family so much...(((((hugs))))) smile biggrin biggrin .

SunnyFrogs · Senior Member

Good afternoon.

Thanks for all the shares here. They're always so helpful.

After a very trying day within 3 minutes of AH being around me this morning and reading here,it is now time for me to begin working the steps. Not just dabbling here and there but instead putting in some real effort and work.

I always feel so hopeful after I come here. I have gone from feeling depressed and crying to feeling hopeful and motivated.

Thank you all.

PosiesandPuppies · ~*Service Worker*~

Thank you Iamhere for your service and all for their shares!

SF - I found the Step WorkBoard to be helpful. It is not quite the same without Betty, but there are enough old posts to allow for you to work the questions.

My sponsor also recommended Blueprint for Progress - A Step Workbook. I bought it off Amazon. That way I was able to work at my own pace, come back to a question, etc.

It's a hot one here! Have a great weekend all!

&

SunnyFrogs · Senior Member

Thanks P&P.

I just looked on Amazon,the one I saw is for the 4th step,is that what you're talking about? Or is it a different one?

Debb · ~*Service Worker*~

SF I found this work book .....

www.amazon.com/Al-Anon-Twelve-Step-Workbook-Working/dp/1475235615

Just a note, that I used this board to work the 12 Steps as well .....

stepwork.activeboard.com/

{{HUGS}}

-- Edited by Debb on Saturday 12th of June 2021 05:48:21 PM

Maresie888 · ~*Service Worker*~

I have found the step books from The Meadows very helpful
That is Claudia Black Pia Melody
The Meadows is a rehab in Arizona which has Bessel Van der Volk on board. Bessel is one of the premier experts on.PTSD
He wrote The Body Keeps the Score
I do like trauma informed programs.
The other publisher that dies have excellent work on the steps is Hazelton. Hazelton is another company that runs rehabs.

They are all excellent
Working the steps us very hard work
I think it is even harder for those of us who have ACA and other issues.

Maresie

SunnyFrogs · Senior Member

Thanks for the suggestions.

mamalioness · ~*Service Worker*~

Thank you IAH for your service and your post. And I could not agree more about needing to work the steps in order and they are numbered the way they are for a very good Reason. I didnt see it at first but it is very clear to me now after a few go around on the steps I saw why they were numbered the way they were and how important each and every one of them is to get to the grow up steps numbers 10 and number 11 and number 12

I cant get to the grow up steps without working the give up steps and the Own up steps and the cleanup steps. By the time I get to step number 10, And I have gone through the steps a few times, I love taking my daily inventory now. I ask myself how do I feel? Good or bad why do I feel that way? What did I do to serve the universe? What did I do that was negative to somebody and including myself? And when I do that, I want to address it as quickly as I can so it doesnt fester. Guilt is OK if I am willing to accept and acknowledge and make the full and proper amends and in doing so I keep it from festering into shame

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.

Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene