The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's reading in C2C is about Step 7. The author shares that when they got to step 7 (Humbly asked HP to remove our short comings), they initially stumbled over the very first word - humbly. The author felt that being humble their whole life had only resulted in abuse. But then, the author realized that they had been confusing humility with humiliation. Humility doesn't mean begging for mercy, but rather the ability to see one's true relationship with HP and our fellow human beings.
The author also stumbled over asked - over time they had learned to not ask anyone for anything. Thanks to Al-Anon, they realized that they did not have to know all the answers, and could ask other Al-Anon members for help. Over time, the author's concept of the last word, shortcomings - has also changed. IN the past, the author thought of them as crimes, faults, sins, or mistakes. Now, the author sees shortcomings as blocks within that prevent us from reaching our full potential and distance us from our HP.
Today's Reminder: There are many things that I can do to improve my life and to further my recovery, but I cannot heal myself. Today I can ask for help in becoming free of all that blocks me from my true self.
Today's Quote: If my problems have brought me to prayer, then they have served a purpose. As We Understood . . .
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What stands out to me most in this reading is the author's evolving understanding of shortcomings. I personally see shortcomings as strengths that I am using out of proportion, or out of balance. Since I am relying on them too much, I am out of balance, and need to focus on opposing (or opposite) strengths to come back to balance.
I'm so thankful today for the Al-Anon program, because it is a program that grows with me.
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
Thanks Skorpi for your service and ESH. What a interesting page from C2C, and how Step 7 is dissected and made clearer. Shortcomings, and humbly asking for help could all be seen as negatives, yet with fresh eyes and looking for healing, all becomes clear. I must say that when I was new to program, all the Steps seemed difficult and many threatening. Over time Ive come to love the Steps as I see them all as tools for living a better life. I have done them twice with my previous sponsor, and I imaging at some point I will want to do them again with my new sponsor. Love this program....
Good morning sisters in Al-Anon and MIP and thanks for the wisdom that helps me in confidence to keep on keeping on. I love the readings this morning and the memories and thoughts they hold up in front of me which will make my recovery and day much better than I imagined earlier.
The subject of humility vs humilitation (?) for me is a powerful one and has not lessened in strength as I continue to work it often. Humilitation use to cause me to react and practice revenge, anger and rage before I learned the better working definition of humility that gave me successes from working the change. My now deceased sponsor Don.T taught me that the definition for humility that would help me best was "being teachable" and yes he was right on. It taught me how to change my vision and expectations where I would earn growth in recovery and outcomes I needed and wanted that I was searching for on a daily basis. In the lessons he taught me to seek the "opposites" of what I was getting while I was looking for better/other outcomes. Surprising how that come out....The opposite of anger is acceptance and I got lessons on acceptance because my fears were having me fail in awareness. What a blessing to find out I was wrong and that I could change in short order. So many others; friends and victims becoming changed also by this. My world got quiet when I stopped reacting and struggling and it has stayed quiet mostly.
The opposite of fear is love...try that one out for a while. That was an active lesson between my HP and I and it goes on today. Even animals demonstrate this for me. Gracious am I blessed as others are around me as a result. YAY!!.
I use to fear coming to or going to Al-Anon events and not now. I am participating in re-establishing face to face meetings in our area and am excited about it. Keep on Keeping ON!!
Thank you Skorpi for your service and the daily. Thanks to all for the shares & ESH. I also confused humility with humiliation, thus resisted the word/action of seeking humility. I am not sure why asking for help feels so darn hard yet it does. Even now, there are life issues/events that I sit and consider, falling back into thinking I need to solve/address/deal with - alone! It takes me less time now than BR (Before Recovery) to realize I am not alone, help is always available and others, including my HP are much better able to help me when I ask.
My definition of shortcomings has also evolved. Having some moments of pure joy and serenity have helped me realize that's what is most important to me - thus, my willingness to go to any length to have and hold these make me willing to adapt my attitude, ideas by letting go of any/all things that block me from the sunlight of the spirit.
I have come to believe that for me, I just can't have negative energy and radiant energy coexist within. I also believe, again, for me, that when I hold on tight to old ideas and patterns of unhealthy thinking/coping/acting, I'm minimizing space within for learning/growing. For me, today, humility has everything to do with being open, being teachable and being willing to change.
Happy Wednesday all - started my day @ the golf course volunteering for a shotgun tournament. It was super hot and zapped me/my energy. Hope everyone chose to have a great day!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thank you Skorpi. For your service and your shower.
Good old step Number seven was a big challenge for me because I did associate with humility being humiliation. I did not understand the difference between being humble and honest and open and willing for change and being humiliated like I was growing up as a child. You hid your mistakes back then, I even lied about my mistakes to avoid the physical and even worse than that the mental and emotional abuse that he would put on me. Now step seven is my friend in that I know I can test my burdens on to my higher power and with a sincere heart be ready open and willing and then asking my higher power to cleanse me of certain character traits that are holding me down and hindering my growth and HP has been very gracious in that sometimes I have only been willing to be willing but HP still has helped me remove a lot of negative traits
This group is saturation with readings. Brain fog held me back in my middle year in Alanon. A good group would at least share a reading or two.
But I was distracted- dissociating... ...a lot of the time. Like a lot of my learning it was intellectual, but short and slow on emotional or spiritual knowledge.
So, this year I have been wondering- agonising somewhat as to whether i have actually done the steps properly.
In some departments I have always been a super-diligent person. And maybe, in itself, this was one of the failings?
I know, in Alanon, that it is wise to include ourselves on the list of amends- in a balanced way.
My sponsor, and through her hubby, ensured close contact with AA in our town... and I got a good balance here too.
Thanks Skorpi and y'all...