The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I don't like to have to adjust myself to whatever comes my way! I am very stubborn & really don't like change at all. I know that the only constant thing is change. I have tried to work the Program on these issues & lately I can't stand the way I have been thinking. I am managing to live one day at a time but things get so tough & sometimes unbearable. I have been complaining & have been judgmental & critical. So, I figure that I am human & have many shortcomings. But, working the Program & the steps I have noticed that some things have been removed or are in the process. My higher power has been patient w/ me & I don't have more than I can handle. I sometimes think that because I have been in the Program of Al anon for awhile, I feel should have come farther than I have. I know that more will be revealed & I have to be prepared for whatever comes. So, I have to be patient w/ myself as well. God the One of my understanding is never going to let me down. I am grateful that He has given me so many people who support me in all my trials & daily issues. This includes all of you! I hope I reflect what this site is trying to do & I respect whatever each person has to say! The main reason we are all here is to carry the message, right?
Be gentle on yourselves as I am attempting to do as I tell my story.
It is all good! Sometimes I strongly dislike this statement but I know eventually it does get better!
I am in a once a week meditation group. I really admire the teacher because he has totally re invented himself
The topic this week was indeed change. The idea being that change is coming for sure becuse of the pandemic. The pandemic was thrust on us but this next change us incremental. It most certainly is going to be in place by August
I am looking forward to the time when some of the issues with the pandemic are over. However there are other issues that have not been resolved for me.
I do not think I am very good at change. In my family of origin every day was chaotic. Change brought even more panic and chaos. That experience is like an imprint. Then we learn to fear change
Obviously as my meditation teacher suggests since of the issue is to be ready. I want yo be ready for the next phase. Generally Indi not do well with change. However we cannakways change the attitude
Kathleen - good to see you as always and thank you for your share/honesty. As I ponder the premise of change, I can't recall in my life anyone anywhere ever being thrilled with it. I believe it's very, very 'normal' to have fear of change and even to resist. What helps me most is similar to what you've shared - looking back, I have never had to go it alone - my HP has always gotten me through it and to the other side.
Keep doing you - it looks great on you!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thank you for this post, Kathleen. Everything you said resonates with me. Lately, I am angry, bitter, want to lash out and hurt the person who has hurt me. I am not very able to see my role in our difficulties. I feel I am owed a lot. I feel like a victim, and in fact, feeling like a victim is my usual emotional state. So I have a long way to go! Am so very glad to be on this journey of growth with you and others here. Glad you are experiencing growth and some relief...I also find change so hard. Keep up the good work!
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"The truth will set you free, but it [might] make you miserable first."
One of the memoirs I read recently had the title Better not bitter. That is one of my goals. Bitterness and resentment are understandable.
I know for some people July 4 is upcoming. For some people July 4 is the holiday that family occasion. For alcoholics it is a time for excess.
Live around alcoholics that is what you have to deal with
That is not to mention the fireworks the total excess of fireworks.
So how do you live around that?
For me the issue is a laser focus. A laser focus on my goals and my purpose.
At this time of year it is real common to focus on what you don't have. That the idea is that other people have families
Other people have relationships.
Why don't I have it
One of my neighbors has this facebook page where she professes how great her relationship is. She has all kinds of photos of evenings out. All kinds of celebrations
Yesterday I spoke to get about a subject completely off topic. Then it came out that her husband is incredibly controlling. He restricts her activities immeasurably
So remember that the picture you are enjoying is not necessarily as it seems
Some people do indeed have supportive families and loving relationships. Some people don't
My sister who.is a lifelong alcoholic dresses up her life really well. She drinks every day without fail
What you see is not necessarily what it appears to be
I don't intend to say anything about my neighbors husband and heaven forbid I would never say anything to him. However I am aware of how fast I come to conclusions. The conclusion generally is #poor ne# I don't have when in fact that may not be the reality all.
