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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Courage to Change 5/22
Post Info TOPIC: Courage to Change 5/22
Iamhere


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Courage to Change 5/22
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Good morning MIP and happy Saturday to all.  Today's reading is all about the gift of a spiritual relationship with a higher power that we gain in our recovery journey.  We come to realize that we are powerless to change the fact that alcoholism has affected our lives.  We come to believe that a Power greater than self can overcome the effects of this disease.  

The second and third step help us to trust that even when the ground beneath our feet is shaky, we will not fall as we are held firmly by One whose will is not so easily overturned.  We come to trust that no matter how shaky we feel, we will be safe.

A spiritual foundation makes a truly searching and fearless moral inventory possible.  Many of us have fear that if we look at ourselves deeply and carefully, we will see that we are hopelessly flawed - feeling unworthy at times.  When we risk taking that closer look, we discover our fears give way to the truth - we are all we need to be!

Reminder:  Today I will take some time to strengthen my relationship with my Higher Power.  This will bring me closer to seeing the truth as my ally and recognizing my own inner loveliness.

Quote from Louise L. Hay:  "I now choose to rise above my personality problems to recognize the magnificence of my being.  I am totally willing to learn to love myself."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What I love best about recovery is that it is a spiritual program, not religious.  No matter your background, faith/family of origin, etc. we are just encouraged to define and believe in a power greater than self.  For me, when I arrived, my faith was distorted, much like everything else.  I had stepped far, far away from organized religion and had no interest/need in returning.  Yet, I've become grateful for my upbringing simply because it made it a bit easier to believe in something I could not see, feel, etc.

I could write novels about how my faith and spirituality has changed over the years, yet prefer instead to keep things simple.  I do believe that I was designed to be human, perfectly imperfect.  I do believe that I was designed with free will to use for service to self and others, not my own wants/ego.  I believe that no matter what is going on around me, I will be OK because my various inventories have revealed that to be the constant reality for me over and over again.

The only answer or tool I've found that combats fear within me is faith.  When I feel fearful, I practice having faith instead.  When I feel disappointed, I practice finding/keeping joy instead.  When I feel angry, I examine what within me is choosing anger as a reaction vs. a response to other people, places and things.  For me, I truly believe that acceptance is the answer to all my problems today.  Again, for me, unconditional acceptance of self and others was not possible until I learned to trust a power greater than me and learned to unconditionally love myself.

Peace for me comes from believing I am loving, loved and lovable.  Peace for me stays from working daily to trust my Higher Power, be of service to self and others and doing the next right thing.  I am so, so grateful that no matter what's going on around me, there is a tool to use to get me back to the center of my boat!  What a relief, especially compared to the chaos/drama of my life, mind and heart before.

Today is my AH's birthday.  I'm off to pick up steaks to grill later and fixings to make a cake.  Rain continues and we are both scheduled to play golf with others.  Thankful for a Plan B - hanging at home watching baseball - should the rain deter our plans.  Make it a great day all - find and keep your joy, just for today!!



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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging.  Pause before assuming.  Pause before accusing.  Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret.  ~~~~  Lori Deschene

 

 
Debb


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Thank you IAH for your service, today's reading and ESH.

I to have a very strong relationship to my HP and am still learning about how strong that spiritual connection

is and can be. Faith, for me, in the present and future has been a easing factor in helping me overcome those

fears and anxieties over the things that I have no control over. Some of those being AH and his drinking and

subsequent Dr. Jekkyl/Mr. Hyde syndrome, all those verbal threats and nasty attitudes that I can be subjected

to no longer are issues for me.

My daughters birthday is tomorrow!! Wishing you and AH a happy day today!!

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"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart" ~ Unknown

Debbie
Lyne


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Thank you IAH for your service and inspiring share. I appreciate Debb's share as well. One of the things that helps me overall with my recovery is to have daily contact with my HP and alanon. If someone had told me to take these steps I would have thought they were nuts--who has the time??? But I've kind of just evolved into finding the time to get to this board daily, text with a program friend daily, and speak to HP daily. We all have to find our own way into and through recovery. I'm very grateful for MIP.

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Lyne
SunnyFrogs


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Good morning.

I used to feel so alone and empty much of the time. Now,not so much as I feel more of a connection with my HP as each day passes.

It's a hot day here again but also cloudy. I'm gonna spend as much time out in it as possible today.

Enjoy your day everyone



-- Edited by SunnyFrogs on Saturday 22nd of May 2021 08:59:07 AM

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JerryF


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Aloha Ladies and mahalo nui; thanks sooo much for your wisdom and ESH.   Really I know you all won't mind that  I use all of it today so that I can have a day of promise again.

I decided to go for a walk this morning including reminding myself of my age and my back which was proper as I now sit in this chair, breakfast within and spirit and hope top top.

HP came with  me and doesn't have the kind of back I have so complaints were minor.  Came back home to you girls and the smiles and comfort you bring; your 12th step for another member.

Love you all.  Be safe. Walk all the steps and tell your qualifiers that  you love them.   ((((hugs))))  awwwink



-- Edited by JerryF on Saturday 22nd of May 2021 11:05:37 AM

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Jerry F
PosiesandPuppies


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Thank you Iamhere for your service, and to all whom have shared their interpretations of this Daily!

I hope that your neck is feeling better, Iamhere... it sounds as if it is not complaining today.

Coming back to this program, I was spiritually bereft. I had lost my faith. Faith in myself, faith in those things I grew up learning, faith in any type of Higher Power. Despite working the Steps, I even lost faith in mankind over the last year.

This board reminds me that there are people out in the world with open hearts and open minds. This month I have decided to actively seek the good things that humans do... over the last year, all I have heard about is the bad. But the reality is that there is much good being done... just right now, it's voice has been silenced by those who want to amplify the "bad."

I just love that Louise L. Hay quote!!! I believe that if we choose to, all of mankind has the ability to choose '...the magnificence of their being.' (paraphrase) And that "magnificence" does not rest in EGO!

Going to bathe a couple cats today... LOL! Should be exciting!

Grateful member

&



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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend

"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness."  Mary Oliver

 

 
Daffodils


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Thank you Iamhere for your service and everyone's shares. Woke up today with no energy. After reading board, emphasis on checking in with HP, texting a PROGRAM friend and absorbing all the shares, I had enough gas to get this body into motion. Hours later, Jerry's "tell your qualifiers you love them" gave me pause. I was able to set aside my inner grumblings . Lately AH needs more love due to some health scares, and I have to work harder to be gracious. It may be "caregiver burnout" (?) or my working on Step 4 but I am grateful HP/AlAnon restore me. Well , chores/meals are done. It's hot and hazy with storms on the way. We will relax watching baseball and hockey. Happy birthdays and warm hugs to all.

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JerryF


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I've read some free floating Mothers Day shares on this computer now I don't know how long the smiling will last...maybe forever?


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Jerry F
DavidG


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 smile I hope the birthday went well IAm. aww

I set out to "keep it simple" and may have finally succeeded. biggrin Being present, I believe is where our higher power can be most effective. Anger, pain, fear, grief, is not pushed away- but approached, called out, little by little and healed away.

My higher power is unconditional love- both given and received. Creating spaces where this can be achieved has been a mission for me. These last 18 months i have focussed on the rituals of encounter and the rites of passage.

Pretty easy to grasp is we have been through hard hard times. For me a way to create healthy boundaries. Removing barriers and creating heathy boundaries.

And I do get to do a lot of this high were, with our MIP Alanon family.

Leaves are blanketing the ground here. And the worms will be tugging away at them, as I speak.

Next year the sun will beat down on the earth a little less.

Thanks. smile smile smile smile 



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mamalioness


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Thank you very much, IAH.

I so relate to the spiritual over religious. It was a long over a decade struggle in program for me to finally find the higher power of my understanding that I can relate to and that whom I am clinging to now as I face a tremendous financial reduction with unemployment been terminated two months early. I am just thanking my higher power every single day for my new and happy and abundant means of support, no specifics, leaving it wide open for HP to bring the best results to me and then I get out of the way and let it process through the universe

I was about this far from being an atheist or at the very least an agnostic because of my terrible upbringing and because I was so sick and dysfunctional I just kept bringing bad karma onto me because I did not understand or believe in anything outside of myself and myself was just too messed up to bring me very good results

As I evolve in the program, I see that there is a loving higher power in the universe and I happen to believe in creator and Jesus but I have my own understanding of them and it works for me I believe that because of my issues with control, higher power had trouble working in my life because I was too busy hanging on and fighting and resisting. Now sometimes with gentle force, I have to yank my hands off of the situation and make me back off and breathe and let go and let the God of my understanding take over after Ive done all I can. I never would have gotten this far without this program. No way. I am not a religious person at all. I am spiritual in that I know that that part of the universal source of infinite good health and good wealth and good love and healthy expression, it is within me. I am so grateful for this program

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Rose, a work in progress!!!

KEEP IT SIMPLE_EASY DOES IT_KEEP THE FOCUS ON ME
Maresie888


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Thank you I AH
I most certainly cherish Louise Hay
The grief course I have been on has a big connection to Louise Hay which had been very instructive.
I went to a 6 week group for grief for suicide survivors then I took an additional course on grief from one person who is very well known in that field
That has most definitely helped me a great deal
In my grief course I have learned to send love to those who have died. That has been immensely helpful. It was worth all that effort to gain that knowledge and increase my tools.
My friends death from suicide was indeed very very difficult.
One of the people I know who had a substance abuse problem also knew my friend. They had litle to no response when he died. That was indeed a turning point for me in dealing with them.
I believe many people with substance abuse problems shot down all empathy. I imagine that is how they manage in life. They go all out not to feel at all costs
I am so grateful to be capable of feeling and in turn managing those complex feelings. Diligence is indeed one of the only ways to manage them.

I know those people who are abusive are indeed incapable of empathy. One minute they are praising you the next totally denigrating you in a public fashion. Clearly that is a person who is first of all totally dysregulated but secondly someone who is incapable of any semblance of empathy. Lashing out is kindergarten behavior
After all only children and childish immature people lash out and call people names in a public fashion. Childish dysregulated people are incapable of empathy that does not meet their maturity level.
Therefore when I meet people like that who are pretty good at affecting some semblance of caring I know that they do not have shared value which I have built up. Integrity is not a concept they can grasp . Therefore their dysregulated behavior is to be expected. Bullying is the norm for them because of course they are absolutely dysregulated on every level and therefore completely irresponsible in relationships.

I have had to deal with my share of dysregulation lately at work and it is beyond tedious it is really quite boring. Imagine spending your life lashing out at others at the drop of a hat?
What a terribly sad existence. Then there is the dysregulation with not being able to contain their emotions on any level.
What an incredibly sad and pathetic existence to be so out of control on a daily basis?

Unfortunately I have had to deal with that kind of person all too often and it is beyond tedious and extremely unfortunate. Needkes to say, it is most of all naturally it is absolutely unprofessional in every respect
Setting limits around persons like that who are absolutely incapable of any form of emotional regulation is an art form of it's own.

However on another level not being in a place where I am triggered by their complete inability to self regulate on any level is informative. I am indeed on a very different level

For me at this time I.do not have much empathy for those who are not remotely interested in self regulation because somehow that kind of overt display sense to work for them in their desire to control others
I no longer feel intimidated by them but I certainly do feel
being around then in any level is far beyond tedious. They are embarrassing to be around on many many levels. I could not articulate that before because of course I identified with their abject dysregulation on many levels.

I know now that I would never entertain that kind of emotionaln dysregulation on an intimate level. That is indeed a relief. I no longer need to be embarrassed by that kind of overt immaturity on a social level. However professionally I so indeed have to deal with dusregulation and it is supremely tedious but most of all repugnant that some people believe that level of overt dysregulation professionally is acceptable in any form.

Maresie

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