The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's reading in Courage to Change says that consistency, diligence, and patience in practicing the program lead to results -- although not always in the timing we want and not without periods where it seems like nothing is improving. A sentence from this page that has been true for me is, "Just when we reach the end of our patience, a doorway seems to open and we suddenly take a huge leap forward." Just by putting one foot in front of the other with meetings, steps, and trying to apply Al-Anon principles -- time passes, and we are quietly absorbing the program until -- at last -- results start to appear.
Today's reminder: Whether or not I see immediate benefits, today I choose to keep coming back.
Quote from a Turkish proverb: "Patience is the key to paradise."
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I think today's reading is a good balance between "I need to be disciplined" and "I can be patient."
I am glad that no one tells me exactly how to practice my program. I like having choices. I use meditation (step 11) -- but not always at the same time every day, and I'm sure my meditation does not look like someone else's. I attend at least one meeting a week -- usually two (thanks to Zoom). I must confess I don't read the Al-Anon literature every single day as some do -- but for sure I read it at least once a week so I can post the daily here. I do service in my home group and my district/area. I use slogans when I run into a difficult situation or feeling -- and I love learning new slogans. I am working the steps for the second time, and I meet with my sponsor every two weeks to discuss the step I am working on.
My version of consistency is that I am doing something Al-Anon related every day, just not the same things every day. Even if sometimes it feels like "work" to get started on them, I always feel better once I do get started. And the rewards do come, usually when I least expect it. I continue to have insights that I wasn't expecting, that make me feel lighter.
MIP friends, how do you practice, and what works for you?
Freetime. Thanks for the great post and your service
Yeah it is two steps forward and one step backward for me as to trying to slow down and pay attention. I was not paying attention and after shaving my legs and under arms I went to blow on my razor after I washed it out so it would not rust and ice wasnt paying attention and I nicked my upper lip and I bled all over myself and it felt like it was never going to stop. So I got angry with myself, I got triggered because it is just another reminder of the complex PTSD and the Inability to consistently be in the present and pay attention. Unemployment was asking for proof of work for 2019 and part of 2020 and I always get nervous when I see something in my inbox from them but I got it sent out but I guess I was still stressed out over it as states are discontinuing the program and I am really concerned that my state might do the same and prematurely and the program before I get anything going as far as my business goes so its been stressful. Ive had 2 mild back spasms since May 4 because of certain states 12 of them to be exact are quitting the program as of June so its been really tough working my program but I am trying to just deep breathe and narrate to myself what I am doing to force me to stay in the present and also doing my grateful list to the universe and just keep giving thanks for continued provision for me but its been tough. When you feel like youre under fire, at least for me , Anyway, that is when I need to be yes, more disciplined and also be more patient with me which most of the time I think I am but today I was not because I kept doing these stupid self sabotaging things, the last of which was cutting my lip. I just have to go literally one day at a time and today I am OK
I cannot count the number of times I've sat in meetings feeling like I was making absolutely no progress whatsoever, and then, without warning, I notice a HUGE shift.
I have 2 routines, one for when I have time, and one for when I am so busy I cannot see straight.
My ideal is to read and journal each morning, with meditation time, possibly yoga. When I am busy, I do this at least once a week so I can post on MIP.
Regardless, I attend 1-2 meetings each week and reach out to Al-Anon friends at least twice a week. (My weekend puppy walks are usually at least in part with an Al-Anon friend.) Since I live quite close to some of my AL-Anon friends, impromptu meetings whenever one of us needs it is common. (We just stop by if we see each other.)
I'm thinking about trying a new meeting on Tuesdays, I feel like new perspectives would help me to continue to grow.
Thanks for this great topic and all your shares!
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
When I first came here one of my biggest frustrations was not getting immediate results. I no longer get frustrated or beat myself up when it feels like I'm going at a snails pace. When I go back and read past shares and posts I've made I can see that I actually have made progress.
I'm working on trying to find a balance in my life. I tend to become obsessive about things and I'm feeling that way about this program and coming here. I'm thinking about coming here a specific amount of times per week and on specific days. I think that will help me do other things I need and want to do. It's easy to not do anything besides come here and read all the time. I think I've been spending more time reading than practicing what I'm learning lately and I want to change that.
I do read the daily readers pretty much every day. But I've been slacking on meditating and allowing myself to just 'be'. I've been slacking on the things I enjoy that make me feel good about myself, etc. And I need to switch things up a bit.
In just a few weeks all Covid restrictions are being lifted where I live. No more masks,no social distancing,etc. I'm grateful for that and honestly I don't think it's right that those of us that have been vaccinated should be restricted in order to protect those that haven't anyway.
I am kinda nervous though. How do you go back to how things were before after all this isolation? There will be no excuse for avoiding people any longer. It's just gonna be strange.
Thank you Freetime for your service, and your wonderful share. Such great ESH from the gallery as well! LOL! I always love reading everyone's ESH on the daily topic... at one time i used to compare myself... now I understand and embrace that everyone does "this" differently... the program is centered in a way that allows the member to mold it into what works for them. Genius!!
I have heard it said that 'Patience is a virtue.'
I believe that is because it is not always easy to practice when you are a "Do'er"... a "take charge" kind of person. But one thing I have learned...having and utilizing Patience can bring great rewards!
Enjoy this Friday MIP Family!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Happy Friday MIP family....I can readily admit that patience for me is far from natural. I am one who wants what I want, when I want it. I have improved in recovery - meaning that I have more willingness to allow things to unfold and I have faith that I'm not in charge or in control.
Perhaps I am becoming more patient; perhaps I'm just more spiritual and trusting. I don't rightly know and that's OK. I do see progress in who I am, how I respond and how I think and that's good enough for me now. Speaking as a former right-fighter, and one who commanded answers, it's a miracle, whatever it is.
I'm one who has a routine daily. Many elements are the same, some are switched up. I do take care to lean into my program each/every day. Without fail, I speak to another in recovery daily. That's just one element I tend to for me and others, especially during this pandemic. When we return to normal activities, including F2F meetings, that might change - it might not. We'll see.
Some effort, big or small, daily - for me - just helps keep me centered. I have stepped away from my routines and it just always ends with me uptight, anxious, curt and more. I am a better version of me when I stick as close to my program and what's suggested. I'm off to get some things done - volunteering most of the weekend, and playing some golf too - weather permitting. Love and light all!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I have a friend here, I personal message regularly, and we keep in regular contact.
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