The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's author identifies the greatest hindrance to serenity: ourselves when we try to address every action, perceived wrong or injustice done to or around us.
A main them in Alanon is the suggestion that, since we don't know what 'should' occur for anyone, we let go, let god/higher power, let events unfold rather than shape them ourselves.
Reminder: As a small cog in a big universe, attempts to change/control will only end in failure. Serenity arrives when I learn to let go and feel gratitude and let solutions determine themselves.
"What hurt could it do thee if thou wouldst let it pass and make no account of it? Could it even so much as pluck one hair from my head?" - Thomas a Kempis ------------------------- Serenity is a choice I make, not a product of the circumstances around me. With the help of Alanon I know that now, but I still find my mind resisting at times as it feels easier to want different responses, results, outcomes.
I have a choice: let it go and rejoin serenity, or insist that I am "right", know what "should" happen, try to force it, and ensure frustration and negative outcomes for myself and others.
It works when I work it
__________________
Paul
"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives." - Paths to Recovery
Thanks Paul for your service and for all above shares. It sounds so easy to let it go, and I guess based on my lifes circumstances, its very hard around certain issues. The more I practice, Let go and let God, and Live and let live, my mental health improves. And thats why Im here, for me.
Good Morning All. Thank you Paul for your service and the shares. My mind was muddled today. I was tempted to manage and apply my troubleshooting skills with my spouse. Opted to do some readings, light chores and get ready to seize the day. As I read thread, "what you resist, persists" surfaced (learned in trauma group) and shares emphasized I need to let go and let God. Now, feeling lighter and excited (?). Going for a long, brisk walk. Enjoy you day.
Thank you Paul for your service and the daily. Thank you all for your ESH and shares. Letting go is not a natural action for me. I've spent a lifetime as a process expert, a solution designer, a self-starter with creative ideas to solve problems. It took Al-Anon for me to accept and understand that life presents challenges that are just not meant for human solutions. This disease is one of those life events which I consider to be well beyond my knowledge and expertise.
I am one who leans into the Serenity Prayer to help me determine what I can change and what I should let go. What I know about me is I still am one who has to mull things around and consider a 3D view of the challenge before I am able to let go. Letting go for me is not the same as doing nothing or walking away. There is always something I can still do in service to the issue, person, situation, event. Even if it's as simple as just praying or asking if I can be of service.
I absolutely love that I am designed to be perfectly imperfect, and that mistakes are a part of my learning. If I am uncertain what to do, if anything, I do employ the 'when in doubt, don't' suggestion. This works well for me as I was one who willingly imposed my will way too often before trying to force solutions. This never worked out well and typically affected both my sanity and serenity. My experience is that if I am to take action, and/or be of service, it becomes clear as life unfolds.
Happy Tuesday all! Started my morning at the golf course, where it was cool and misted for 9 holes of golf. Called it a day, and came home to take a nap before starting some chores. I am not certain if I am more tired lately because I added extra golf last week or from the 2nd dose of the vaccine. I am grateful though that I am better at self-care and listen to my body. Enjoy the rest of your day - find and keep your joy MIP family!!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thank you so much for your service .
Letting go has been very difficult for me.
In the past few months I have been looking at my friends intensely demise. He killed himself
This was not a person who seemed to be an alcoholic
Lately I have been addressing that si many people around him.drank. In fact one of his best friends who worked with has become clearly someone who is pretty dependent on alcohol.
The mystery being solved. Alcohol was most certainly a factor in my friend's death
The strange thing about my process is that as I become aware of is that there is a huge relief.
If my friend most certainly had a formidable alcohol problem I cannot say that there was something I could have done to stop his untimely death. At this stage in my life I know that alcohol is issue I cannot win with
The sad truth is it takes so many peope before their time
During the pandemic I have noted when I go to grocery s store particularly at night that there are so many people buying alcohol. I am so relieved that I no look anger have to live around those binges
I stayed in my friends home. Thete was certainly alcohol thereby I can't say I picked up on it
He had it well hidden. Yet there was something really off about his home. There was some element there I was uncomfortable with
I have lots of feelings like that around certain people. Now I know I have to listen to those feelings and act accordingly..
I am no longer in the business of fixing anyone or even suggesting that they do certain things. My focus these days is in mutual relationships where I can get them
I really believed I had a mutual relationship with my friend and that I was on a very different level from him
Apparently that was not the case. The signs were always there but I did not have the maturity to deal with them. I also did not have the room to look at how certain friends of his had a real penchant for going overboard with alcohol.
Now I do. That doesn't bring me much solace in addressing that he got to the point of committing suicide.
What it does bring me is the realization I do not have the corner of suffering.
I am far more comfortable now with knowing that for some people there is no recovery from alcoholism. Those that do recover are the rare ones one in four.
For me I no longer have to concern myself that I have some obligation to persuade anyone to recover
Yeah instead of trying to make things happen I am slowly learning to let things happen when I am not in control. Sure. There are things I have to take care of myself the basics self-care, boundaries, stuff like that but anything outside of my own hula hoop, I have to just let go and Im learning to do that. Im learning to give non-resistance to things that are not in my control and to give thanks and sometimes I have to dig to find something to say thank you for but I do and it creates a lot better energy than what I had before. I have been under fire since I found those termites a week ago Sunday gosh itll be two weeks ago this Sunday but anyway it just seems like one thing after another and I just kept saying OK thank you infinite spirit that they got the termites and they didnt do any damage and yes it was a big bill but it couldve been worse. And I just didnt tried it I just found a good termite company and took care of it. And there has been other things its been a stressful going on two weeks and I am doing not a bad job at just giving it non-resistance. But first I have to allow the feelings of fear or anger or frustration I do have to allow them and be with them and accept them before I can release them and then do the law of attraction thing where you just give non-resistance and give gratitude that youre OK even if you dont think so just keep saying it over and over thats what I do and it seems like it works it seems like these crises that have come up of late in my life and one after another it seems I just kind of get through them with a minimum of bruises. So non-resistance and paying attention and not denying my feelings and just accepting things as they are that does not mean I like it or agree with it it just means this is what it is. And just keep thanking the universe that I am being cared for and looked after and taken care of
