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Good morning and Happy Saturday MIP. Today's reading/daily talks about how WE can get in our own way....in our recovery and our lives. Two words that signal a lack of acceptance are, "Yes, but . . . " Time takes time, yet when we can accept everything as it is, we can be reasonably serene. We do not have to like reality, only accept it for what it is.
When we embrace and hold on to a harsh tone, an unkind word, apparent indifference of another - we pay a price holding on to 'that' instead of letting it go. More often than not, the interval of time involved is way, way shorter than we give power to it. This day is too precious to waste by resenting things we can not change. When we spend time wishing things were different, our serenity hBas lost it's priority.
Reminder: While I am responsible for changing what I can, I have to let go of the rest if I want peace of mind. Just for today I will love myself enough to give up a struggle over something that is out of my hands.
Quote by Ovid: "By yielding you may obtain victory."
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Before I began my recovery journey, I used Yes, but . . . to justify my actions/words/emotions/etc. I arrived with a mental scorecard, tracking who did what to me, when, where, why and how! Past events and hurts clogged my mind and truly cluttered my being. I did not want a different way to think or be, yet found myself absolutely defeated and broken doing 'life' my way.
I learned from those who came before me that I always have choices. I can pick up a variety of tools to stay on my side of the street, recognize that ill-will/words directed at me are not my truth and let go of anything at any time I desire. This program gave me a God of my understanding who stands beside me always, in my corner willing to lead me when I am willing to follow and let go.
I learned a long while ago (and forgot) that when we add but to a sentence, it negates all said before. It's a tool often used to deny reality. I am much more careful today when I use this as misuse hurts me at times and others too. It is in recovery that I have learned that surrender is a power move, not a weak move. I do all that I can today and go to any lengths to be serene and sane. I prefer to keep my peace more than be right or give my power away to another. It's a lovely way to live and all is well in my world most of the time.
Make it a great Saturday all. I'm off to golf this afternoon and looking forward to it!!! (((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thanks IAH for your service and ESH. I'm afraid I was a "yes but" fan as well. I could always add a "but" to justify why my life was so horrible and bad. It's funny but I could have had control over myself, but I didn't know that so of course I didn't know how to change it. Program has made me responsible for myself, my mood, my life, etc., and it's a welcome change compared with doom and gloom and being codependent on others. Still learning to be an adult....
Good Morning All. Thank you for ESH. Woke up in a foul mood. I am irritable even though nothing negative has happened. Taking advice to act "as if". Cleaned, ate breakfast, and now going out for a walk and will repeat Serenity Prayers as a mantra. Accepting it's my responsibility to improve my mood . The difference now is I don't try to assign blame. MIP provides answers even though I didn't ask a question! (smile) Have a pleasant day.
Thank you Iamhere for your service and today's Daily! It always amazes me how I can come on here and get EXACTLY what I need, when I need it the most. My HP has an uncanny sixth-sense!
Thank you to those whom have shared above... I know we are not all the same, but by reading the shares, I learn how others employ the Al-Anon program. Sometimes I read something and think to myself, "Hmmmm, I've never thought about it that way!"
Now that I have moved past "survival mode," I find that I am either melancholy over "What Could've Been," or holding onto anger/resentments. I KNOW this is not good for my peace of mind... yet it continues to pop up. So today's reading was perfect for me: I am getting in my own way of my recovery and a peaceful, healthful life! My sponsor says that I need to just "Ride this out, PNP. Keep using the tools, and your ship will right itself... we are not in control of Time." How correct she is! I cannot control my Timeline.
So grateful to be a member here!
Off to plan/prepare for my High Tea I will be serving for my Mom tomorrow. It is our tradition to enjoy a Mother's Day tea at a Tea House (that was interrupted by COVID-19 and this year by her declining health). It is going to be great outdoor weather, so I am bringing the Tea House to her!! Those little finger sandwiches aren't going to make themselves! LOL!
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-- Edited by PosiesandPuppies on Saturday 8th of May 2021 12:20:36 PM
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
I am certainly more willing to.embrace the idea that other people's perception of reality is often much different from mine
My two sisters perception of the reality of our childhood is very .veru different from mine. I do believe it is an example of a certain level of skill in self reflection to get there
For most people they would have to work very hard on themselves to be able to perceive that
In my own perception of reality I no longer have too much.empsthy for those who ae bullies that is call others all manner of names and somehow justify those actions
Bullies generally have people around them who do not challenge their actions.
Being abusive is certainly an artform in total inability to be self reflective.
If I am working hard on my recovery and have boundaries I certainly do not want to be associated with any bullies
Their reality of feeling entitled is not something I am interested in embracing
Therefore since my perception of my childhood is certainly absolutely different from my sisters I do not choose to have that much opportunity to engage with them
For me that might be my own interpretation of keeping my side of the street clean. Therefore in theory I have a less contentious life style.
Thank you. IAH for your service and for your share. Yes reality can suck but I look at it and with me I have to feel the feelings and be with my feelings before I can release them and tell myself OK this is what it is and what is the next right thing I can do to take care of myself
Case in point: last Sunday I noticed swarming termites in my guest restroom and at first I was angry and upset because I had been treated for these things three years ago and here they are back again to say I was angry and indignant over the lousy job I got from this other termite man three years ago was an understatement but after I experienced the feelings and felt the feelings and didnt deny the feelings and just let them pass through me I got on my next door website and I asked for a real termite man and I got this wonderful company Who came out and just because I am naturally kind to people who service my home in the way of handyman or plumbers or whatever, these gentlemen not only took care of the termites but they sprayed my yard and killed all the fire ants and they sprayed the bushes and grass to illuminate any mosquitoes I mean they went the extra mile to make sure I was very well taken care of and I am thanking them and giving them water to keep them hydrated and thanking them and they told me they just loved working for me because I was so kind and fun to work with in that I was giving them water and making them laugh with my jokes and everything and I may even have a job towards the end of the year with the owner who also I made friends with and so I may have it OK keeping gig with the company towards the end of the year starting and so higher power really came through for me and its all because I said it is what it is and I did a step three on it and just said work thy will on this I cast this burden onto the universe and help me to deal with whatever arises--the men found that my house was very healthy and the plumbing there was no leaks and the wood was healthy. I got off with just the termites and no damage and I was thanking my higher power Because it could have been a whole lot worse. Yes it set me back quite a bit of money as these things are expensive to treat but I will get over it and I will move on and now I am inspired to do little fix up things in my house on my own that I can do to make the place even cuter and more desirable for me. So what could have been an ugly day turned out to be a very positive one because I had a positive attitude towards it and I was just ready to do what I could to take care of myself and let go the rest
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