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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> C2C, 4/5
Post Info TOPIC: C2C, 4/5
Lyne


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C2C, 4/5
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The reading for Monday, 4/5, talks about when the alcoholic finds sobriety.  There are still challenges and we may be disappointed to not find the happily ever after ending we were looking for.  Problems that were attributed to drinking may still persist.  Even longtime alanon members may need extra help.  We may find ourselves disappointed, skeptical, resentful, joyous, excited, or confused about the changes.  If we can accept what we are feeling and share about it, we are taking better care of ourselves.

The quote basically says that alanon gives us awareness that our feelings do matter.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

I am currently facing a version of the above description.  My A appears currently to be abstaining.  There is help from OA, but not A.A.  My spouse seems to be up and down and all over the place, giving double messages and passive aggressive on a regular basis.  It is a huge relief that there is no drinking and driving going on.  The fact that my spouse is actually working the steps with a sponsor of a 12 step program is amazing.  But the person Im observing is inconsistent in behavior, and therefore although sober, this is still a challenging and often frustrating experience for me.  I know that all I can do is take ODAT, Live and let live, and Let go and let God. 



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Lyne
mamalioness


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Dear Lyne. Thanks for your service and the reminder that this is a journey not a destination and that even us old timers in Al-Anon need to stick with our programs like glue because the stinking thinking can come right back in, and yeah the alcoholics have to just sort things out on their own because those of us who are impacted by it either by marriage or sibling like me or significant other or whatever parent, we always have to be mindful that it is one day at a time and that we must keep the focus on ourselves and our recovery

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Rose, a work in progress!!!

KEEP IT SIMPLE_EASY DOES IT_KEEP THE FOCUS ON ME
Daffodils


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Thanks Lyne for your service, ESH. And thank you mamalioness for reminding me that recovery is a journey. Since AH has reached out for help, I'm noticing subtle changes. This morning he brought me coffee and kept the house quiet while I did my readings. Usually he'd have the t.v. on loud-watching re-re-replays of hockey and now baseball! I am confused because I don't have anything to gripe about first thing. Trying to focus on the positive...I can enjoy the journey and trust HP/Al Anon will guide me through the rough patches when they arise. Have a wonderful day.

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Debb


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Thank you Lyne for your service, today's reading and to you, mamalioness and Daffodils for your ESH this morning.

You are all so right about this program being an on going journey, for me it is dealing with the ever changing

circumstances that the disease presents daily. Keeping all the Al-Anon tools mentally handy and being able to

apply them with an open mind has been my goal. Lyne, like you, dealing with inconsistent behavior and the

mental games is challenging, but I set another goal for myself, to learn and accept that this is the norm and

like you take ODAT, Live and Let Live and Let Go and Let God.

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"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart" ~ Unknown

Debbie
SunnyFrogs


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Good afternoon. Thanks for your shares.

And thanks for the reminder that no matter what others do or don't do I still need to focus on myself and work my program. It is a necessity really.

Have a good day everyone.

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Iamhere


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Happy Monday MIP. Thank you Lyne for your service and the daily. Thank you all for your ESH & shares. I am one who needs the daily reminder, often more than once, that life is truly best when I am just present. Not leading, not following, not worrying, not hurrying, just being a part of and not a part from.

Countless times, a reset of recovery in my home came. Countless times, I tried to be realistic but optimistic and allow life to unfold, with a level of hope. It was so, so easy for me to either project success or failure for my loved one(s) or to fret about the next relapse. It was extremely difficult for me to practice my own program, taking all things one day or moment at a time and to just trust the God of my understanding.

There is nothing I want more than for my A(s) to be happy, joyous, healthy and free. Truly, deep within my soul, that's my ultimate desire for them and for me. What recovery has taught me is that if it is to be, it will be in their time with their HP. I am not expected to sit and wait or put my life, plans, etc. on hold waiting for them to get 'there' or for 'it' to happen.

I am where I am today - more centered with realistic expectations - simply because my hope and want for them was greater or more urgent than theirs, and I was disappointed time and time again. As I expand my friendships and age, I realize that families ALL have issues, conflict, sadness, etc. not just those of us with this disease. Joy isn't a by-product of what's working well, it's a choice and my outlook & attitude matter all day, every day. It is not easy to have peace, joy and serenity when surrounded by insanity and negativity but it is possible, one moment at a time.

I still can get wrapped up or pulled in to 'life' that's just not my business. It's not because I'm faulty or nosy or controlling, it's because I am passionate and love deeply and strongly. I forget that we each have a HP and I'm not it, with the best of intentions. It does happen less frequently, and for that, I am truly grateful.

We had a lovely warm day here with some big winds! I golfed and it was great fun. I am starting a league tomorrow with about 100 women, and I know 4. It will be an anxiety producing event as I panic in large groups (without Covid). Yet, I also know that my panic will subside and I will be OK. I am also golfing with my AH tomorrow so it will be a full day of golf!

Love and light all - it would be lovely if sobriety brought about instant sanity - not been my experience but it still would be lovely!! (((Hugs)))

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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging.  Pause before assuming.  Pause before accusing.  Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret.  ~~~~  Lori Deschene

 

 
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