The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The reading for Monday, 3/15, explores the act of forgiveness. The writer used to think that forgiveness gave them power and control over others. The thinking changed when they realized that behaving self-righteously only gave them suffering! This happens when we separate ourselves from fellow human beings, focus on others, and keep busy with hateful and negative thoughts. With that attitude, one stays a victim.
Reminder: I dont know the motives or circumstances that cause anothers behavior. I do know that when I hold onto resentment and blame, I occupy my spirit with bitterness. Today I will find a more nurturing way to fill myself up.
Quote: You cant hold a man down without staying down with him.
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I like and relate to this reading. I used to think that forgiving meant that I felt what happened to me was OK. I have come to a much better and I think healthier understanding. Holding onto resentment, bitterness, and blame, gives the offender power over me. By forgiving that person, Im not going to allow their negative behavior to keep affecting me. Instead, I forgive them to take myself out of their hold on me. I take my power back for peace of mind and serenity. Betty taught me about compassion. I can feel sorry for people that hurt others. I dont have to act like that, and I have reached a level of personal freedom. Its a wonderful feeling.
Thank you so much Lyne, for your service and wise ESH today!!
It took me a long while to understand and embrace that holding onto my resentments really just affected my level of serenity. I find it hard at times, b/c even after divorce, there are moments that come up in my normal life that would not be there if addiction hadn't intruded. I sit with anger for a moment, then ask my HP to help me. Usually, what comes to mind is, "This is what it is, PNP... are you going to wallow in pain/sorrow, or are you going to make something of YOUR life?" Then I see I have a choice, and I choose to take my power back.
Right now I am struggling b/c I haven't received much needed alimony in over a year. I know these are unusual times... but to not even have my Ex acknowledge this or take the steps to petition the court for a lower amount is beginning to cause resentments. I cannot ask my parents to keep helping me, and I have done all I can to better my earning potential. This will need to be addressed, but I am unsure of how to proceed, short of hiring a lawyer - which I am loathe to do. I am trying not to let the resentment build. Today was a reminder of that. I will continue to ask my HP for a viable solution.
Thanks for the timely reminder, Lyne!
PS: I hate waking up in the dark in the morning! LOL! Make it a great Monday y'all!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Thank you Lyne for your service and the daily....thanks to you both for your shares & ESH. I readily admit that I am usually up before the sun, and deeply enjoy watching the sun rise. It took it longer today and I would support we cease the whole clock switching 'stuff'!!!
Today is my youngest son's birthday. One year ago yesterday, Layla passed on. As I sat with my feelings this morning, I realized how often I measure 'life' or events based on another event. I decided to spend this morning staying busy rather than dwell on not spending my child's birthday with him. He's not interested in seeing us - mostly because of the virus and secondly because he's active in the disease.
I spent the morning up/down a ladder taking extensive photos of water damage on my ceilings in a variety of rooms for my insurance company. We have extensive hail damage on our roof(s) - both homes, which also affected gutters, siding, skylights, window screens, etc. Needless to share, I stubbed my little toe so, so badly, my foot/toe is now black/blue!!
Forgiveness for me has nothing to do with another person and truly is for me. When I am stuck in sadness, anger, resentments, etc. I truly feel blocked from my HP and yucky. For me, I'm one that what I focus on grows, so I just don't want to be in the negative energy space because it expands; likewise, when I can shift my person to the gratitude/positive aspect of my life, it also expands.
Left to my own, my brain is wired to lean towards the darkness. I truly wish it was not, yet do better when I deal with reality. It is through this program and the spiritual growth I chase that helps me choose the light, when desired, one day at a time. Happy, happy Monday to all - I am going to get horizontal for a nap! Make it a great day!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
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