The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
In today's reading from C2C, the author reflects on their Al-Anon work of reversing old ways of thinking. The author had been in the habit of playing it safe, avoiding risk, and avoiding painful feelings. However, life is one risk after another, and some amount of pain is unavoidable.
Rather than running away, the author is learning to look at the source of any distress. Al-Anon tools, step work, a sponsor, and many meetings help the author find courage to deal with risk, fear, and pain. In return, the author has found freedom from fear, and has discovered that pain passes more quickly. Fear no longer hovers over the author, informing everything they do. Rather than watching for potential dangers, the author can get on with the important work of living.
Today's Reminder: Wonderful things can happen today because I welcome the thrill of participating in my own life.
Today's Quote: "Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing." Helen Keller
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Today's reading is an interesting one for me. I tend to be naturally risk averse. In terms of physical ability, and likely due to a birth defect, I have a really good sense of what I can do and what I cannot do, or what types of activities will cause me pain or injury. I'm willing to take more risks in my personal and professional life, when I have a stable base. However, years of living with an active and now dry alcoholic have lead to me making decisions that really limit myself and my relationships. I realized through program work that I was still playing things safe, trying not to upset the tenuous calm that had settled over the house. And, because of this, I was editing myself, holding myself back. This year has been a journey toward understanding my own needs and goals, and taking the time to ensure that my own emotional and spiritual base is strong. I'm excited to see what will happen next.
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
Good morning MIP. Thank you Skorpi for your service and the daily. I've made a ton of progress is letting go of fear. Not entirely certain where it originated, I truly had a fear of change, a fear of failure and an underlying fear of success. Needless to say, these areas covered almost every aspect from my life, causing me doubt and hesitation from what I should wear to 'work' or 'for the day' to what might happen today (that would be uncomfortable).
As I continue my journey and efforts to trust in the God of my understanding, I have a new way of dealing with life of life's terms. I am no longer afraid of failure and realize I can't fail or succeed if I don't try - no matter what it is. I still have a great level of anxiety when doing new things and/or meeting new people, but it passes so much faster now and at some level from within, I truly know I will be OK no matter how 'it' goes.
Happy hump day to all. We still have some incredible winds today which wear me out! I'm off to golf this morning with my AH and then volunteering from lunch until dark. I do like being busy and being outside and we're forecasted to get some rainy stuff for the next 3-5 days...make it a great day!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thanks Skorpi for your service and for both above shares. Its interesting that Im facing a health crisis with the brother I adore. And I cant tell the rest of the family yet. And I have a fear based personality from my FOO and probably genes as well. So here is an opportunity: I can be engulfed by fear of the future of my brothers life and how this will impact me, or I can put my grown up alanon pants on and try to support him. This is not about me. This will be about helping him through whatever treatment he needs, and being the best sister I can be in spite of fear, discomfort, Covid , etc. At least I know what I need to do. Progress not perfection. I love this program.
Thank you everyone for your continued service and shares. This board has literally saved my life. Yesterday I kept my promise to my hubby to accompany him to the doctor. Less than ten minutes after the visit, we got into an explosive fight. He did not want to comply with instructions given. I flipped and told him his issues "drain me". He retorted that he didn't realize he was" such a burden". My response was no, your refusal to follow orders frustrates me...then I stopped mid sentence. I apologized for my tone and demands...Later I toyed with the idea of having a "long talk"...nixed the idea...made it a fun day instead and didn't broach the subject. As I was cleaning this morning, I laughed realizing I almost took another ride on the rollercoaster. I am sick(er) in some respects and I better get focus back on ME. We went couch shopping and found the perfect one! On the way home, he informed me he would be following doctor's orders (medication and further bloodwork) and asked me to join him for daily exercise. I am in shock. I did not ask why the change or preach...I recognize it must be hard to ask for help from a smug partner like me. I could not have navigated the last 24 hours this graciously without AlAnon tools and members. I am enjoying this MOMENT because I often morph without warning into " something else"...(LOL). Have a fantastic day and thanks again...(((HUGS)))
Hi Skorpi and y'all. I never really avoided risk, or played it safe. I lost my mojo at about age 8 or 9. Lost everything at age 17. But I sat in the rooms beside people who're very risk averse.
I respected this highly. In my SO relationship I did not duck conflict. I was aware that things going on around our kids were messy a lo too the time- but I resolved that they would see this resolved, over time.
A saying in one of our readers- "neither provoke nor avoid a conflict." Sometimes I suspected that I was bing a 'drama queen' . However, looking back- it was buy survival skills surfacing.
And through the reading, the meetings my sponsor, I was re-decorating my interior, slowly, day by day.
I seemed to me that we all were coming gout of the dark ages- the stone age. More like the two horrific wars- n the first half of last century. Stuck dumb- very little or anything was mentioned about the actual experience. Father, grandfathers, both, uncles and great uncles.
I was a part of the baby boomer generation that rebelled. But I rebelled gently. People were replacing alcohol with all sorts of other substances. Some changes were very fruitful- like the rise in equality for women. I saw my own mum struggle. She got into the workforce- which was opposed. I think a lot of my empathy for all members of Alanon comes from this experience. Knowledge borne of direct experience.
I like it that you are expectant and excited, Skorpi... ...
Right on Daffofils and for this was closer to a present day sponsor share cause my wife and I have been in the center to the physical medial condition for me and she shares my visits to my VA doctors because of my deafness and mask wearing and such. We have to deal with it or I should share that I have to remembering constantly my old lessons on humility (being teachable) and practicing patience (mine) and active 4th stepping (mine again). We made it home where I immediately faulted the docs instructions and suggestions. I just got away from the exercise efforts to come and exercise our program. Got my computer reset so I could be here and participate with MIP family. WINNER!! THANKS. ((((HUGS))))
I never really avoided risk, or played it safe. I lost my mojo at about age 8 or 9. Lost everything at age 17. But I sat in the rooms beside people who're very risk averse.