The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
In today's reading, the author reflects on the result of their Step 4 Inventory. For the author, the result was realizing that much of their behavior was immature, and a gift of the step 4 inventory was a set of goals to work toward with the help of the Al-Anon program. The author's goals included:
knowing myself
asking for help when needed and acting alone when help wasn't needed
admitting wrongs and making amends
accepting love from others, also if loving oneself is hard
recognizing that there are always choices, and taking responsibility for the choices made
seeing life as a blessing
having an opinion without insisting that others share it
forgiving self and others
recognizing strengths and shortcomings
being courageous enough to live one day at a time
acknowledge that one's own needs are one's own responsibility
caring FOR people without taking care OF them
accepting that I will always be a work-in-progress
There was no reminder or quote for today's reading.
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Interesting, when I read the list of today's author's goals based in their step 4 inventory, I hear a list of gifts of the Al-Anon program.
I think one of the great things about the Al-Anon program is that we can take what we like and leave the rest, so the program becomes customized to our own needs. I hear a harshness in today's author's reflection that I don't experience in my own Al-Anon program, but to my way of thinking, it is evidence of how the program gives us each what we need in a way that we need it, and we all receive the benefits. I personally was in need of a gentle program when I arrived at my first Al-Anon meeting, and that is the program I found.
I think one of the real strengths of the program is that, no matter whether one needs a list of goals to work toward, or a list of gifts the program will provide, the list can be the same.
And, for those of you following my ice dam concerns this winter, I am happy to report that all the snow and ice has melted off my roof! As soon as the snow on the ground catches up, I can begin to work on a solution to that particular problem. And the Al-Anon gifts I will be bringing with me include:
knowing myself
asking for help when needed and acting alone when help isn't needed
recognizing that I have choices, and taking responsibility for the issue before it becomes a larger problem
recognizing my strengths (mechanical and problem-solving abilities) and weaknesses (a fear of heights and lack of balance)
accepting that I'm a work-in-progress, and so is the roof. I likely won't know if I've completely solved the issue until next winter.
I hope you make today a great day!
__________________
Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
Happy hump day all! Happy Wednesday also! Thank you Skorpi for your service and the daily. I can relate to that 'immature' label applied to my inventory. It was eye-opening for me to see, in black & white, how often I truly 'went there' and how that pattern kept me unhealthy and stuck in a negative cycle of reacting, worrying, projecting, etc.
I like the idea in our recovery of the three A(s). Awareness, Acceptance & Action. Keeping the focus on me in this program gave me tons of awareness into who I am, what makes me tick, what I need and similar. It was difficult for me to accept that while I wanted to blame the diseased, I had plenty of things to work on for me and within me. Action for me is the key to growing and changing.
So happy to hear that your ice/snow is gone from the roof area. I had never heard of ice dams before so it's been fascinating to watch you respond to the issue. I'm learning through your experience - love how our program works even beyond what brings us together.
We are blessed with sunshine again today and warming into the 60's. I am (as usual) headed to the golf course. One great gift for me of 4 seasons in my level of excitement as they change. I still would prefer 3 (could skip winter), but I'm good with what I've got. Make it a great day MIP - love and light to all.
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thanks Skorpi for your service and great share! As a result of my doing the Steps twice with my first sponsor, was that I was able to see a huge difference in how I tackled Step 4. The first time I was horrified to have to make a list of my flaws. I was afraid my sponsor wouldnt want to work with me anymore. She made me focus on my assets as well, which was very difficult at the time.
The second time I did the Steps with her, I asked to take this journey again. And I think I listed my assets before the areas that still needed work. The shame and embarrassment I had the first time around, were gone. I could see how hard Im trying to be a better person, and of course I still have issues to address, but I can see a whole lot of progress.
Ive come to love the Steps. They give me a guide to living my life which I never had before. Grateful member always.
