Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene

Maresie888 · ~*Service Worker*~

Resilience

Iamhere · ~*Service Worker*~

(((Maresie))) - I have to say that I love the word Resilience. I also hear you when you mention transitioning from the 'chaos state' to the 'next chapter' and that limbo feeling. I actually had no idea how to deal with anything but chaos when things began to calm down and normalize. It was foreign to me to be able to deal with one issue or a couple at a time vs. what felt like a fire house pointed at me most of the time.

If/when you get discouraged, consider where you have come from. I tend to forget how much growing I have done when 'life' throws unexpected things my way. Instead, my habits want to surface and I want to 'fight' or 'flight'. I literally have to pause long enough to realize I have new tools that are useful if I just lean into them.

So - keep doing you. I see you as a Miracle in Progress, resilient, strong, capable, intelligent, caring and willing. I'm glad you're a part of my journey!!

Debb · ~*Service Worker*~

Hi Maresie, I agree with IAH, that though I have only known you for a few months, you continue

to seek answers to your continued growth and love that you are sharing what you are learning

about resilience. Al-Anon tools are perfect in order to attain that self awareness, mindfulness,

self care, positive relationships & purpose that help with being resilient. {{HUGS}}

Lyne · ~*Service Worker*~

Hi Maresie. You have given us a great topic and one I can relate to. What came to my mind is ODAT. No matter how horrible, crushing, and crappy this moment could be, if we wait until tomorrow, we will have a new day and a chance to do things better or differently that can make a positive outcome. Pausing, patience, and practice, all come into play if we want to give ourselves the opportunity to bounce back. Keep on keeping on....

SunnyFrogs · Senior Member

You are a very resilient person Maresie. Proof of that is all the hard work you're putting into your recovery.

I don't think resiliency means never struggling,never being discouraged,never making mistakes,etc. I think it's more the will to keep going and keep trying,regardless of what situations or obstacles arise.

You have grit. And it shows.

Hugs

DavidG · ~*Service Worker*~

aww Yesterday, Maresie, I sat in a roomful of Alanon members.

Perhaps the safest place any person could be. One of our members sang the serenity prayer in Maori- which really set the scene.

I recall the awkwardness and pain that used to drag me down. A fair bit of that has gone.

Still some rough edges that need some attention- and maybe there always will be?

The key to AA success was the deep resonance people felt- when they met and shared their ESH.

I am sure it is exactly the same in Alanon. smile ...

Maresie- your sharing bought warm tears to me eyes. aww ...

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.

Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene