The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
... Boundaries- I was told that the idea was to remove barriers and help create healthy boundaries.
In my world the generational boundaries were broken -damaged. Some non-existent. So I still struggle with what a boundary is.
At the moment I am thinking it might be about rituals of encounter. In my family culture the rituals were all about drinking together.
I went to Fiji last year- where the traditional rituals were around drinking kava. But some people and families treated this drink as "grog" and used it to get blotto.
In my home group we have only three members. Two weeks ago our new member said that a group hug was okay- but not an individual hug for her. Setting a boundary- good stuff!
So last night I had a warm hug with the other old-timer- but not with the newcomer. They had an individual hug together.
The newcomer asked me if I wanted to participate in some impro theatre sports in the community. Just two evening sessions. I wanted and needed to participate.
She was going to give me a flier. Was waiting at lat night's meeting to see if this would eventuate.
After the meeting was closed she raised the issue of the improvisation workshop. Good boundary- taking it outside of the group sharing arena. And the other old timer is aware of this too.
She didn't have the flier. She had my cell-phone number- but I don't have her's. But I invited her to text me the venue.
In our neck of the woods the future of Alanon hangs on a thread.
I am happy to share an activity out in the community with a member.
I've been listening to podcasts on Youtube about boundaries. They say they are how we teach others to treat us. I have been trying to put into practice what I've been
learning and it's not always easy to do. It feels empowering though when I set a boundary and consistently follow through. Consistency isn't quite there for me often enough yet though.
I hope the newcomer texts you and you get to participate.
Thanks David and SunnyFrogs for these great shares. Boundaries for me is learning where I end and another begins. It is about stopping enmeshment (usually with addicts) and codependency. I don't want others to dictate how I feel or behave. I used to give others this power. Now I want to decide how I feel and how I behave based on what is healthy and good for me. It's taken years of alanon and practicing to not care if others do not approve or like my choices. My life has become about me and not others. (Of course when raising my son he had to come first most of the time.) But now he is an adult and it's been a hard habit to break, not putting his needs first. It's not easy being a grown up and alanon is not for sissies!
... Boundaries- I was told that the idea was to remove barriers and help create healthy boundaries.
...