The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's reading explains that although we might wish that we -- or others -- had come to Al-Anon sooner, we each get here "right on schedule." The author quotes the saying, "When the student is ready, the teacher appears." They share that they attended their first Al-Anon meeting 20 years after first hearing about Al-Anon, and many years of living with the disease. But they don't regret the timing, because as they write, "no amount of nagging would have hurried me along any faster."
Today's Reminder: There is no magic wand that can make others ready for Al-Anon, and it is presumptuous to assume that I have a better idea of their true path than they do. Let me help those who want help. When my life improves as a result of working the program myself, I do more to carry the message than I ever could by forcing it on others.
Quote from Dilemma of the Alcoholic Marriage: "Let me not dilute the effectiveness of the help I can give by letting it take the form of giving advice. I know I will never have enough insight into another's life to tell that person what is best to do."
When I was typing Today's Reminder for this post, instead of "magic wand" I accidentally typed "magic want." Freudian slip or message from HP? Of course, I could have benefitted from Al-Anon long before I showed up at my first meeting, but I didn't make the effort until I had a "magic want."
I know that I got to the point of desperation. I had heard of Al-Anon, and thought I would go "someday." When that day came, I was ready to admit that there was alcoholism in my marriage, and I needed desperately to go someplace where I could talk about it. I felt as if my house was on fire and I had to call the fire department -- I had to tell someone.
It must have been the right time for me, because the meeting I started attending had a member whose story was almost exactly the same as mine, only she was farther along the recovery path. I don't hear my exact story often at meetings -- so it's a miracle that I happened on that meeting -- and that member later became my first sponsor, and an excellent one. I have to accept that my timing was right.
I totally believe that we can't interfere in someone else's path -- but I still struggle with wanting others to do their Al-Anon program the way I do mine. I have gotten so much benefit out of the way I am doing it, that I must be right, right? Just for today, I will understand that if someone else is going to come to my way of doing Al-Anon, they will do it in their own time, when they have the "magic want."
Thanks FT for your service important ESH. Prior to program I spent all my energy outside of work, on trying to fix my A. I knew of alanon but thought I could handle everything myself. WRONG! By the time I got here, I was an emotional trainwreck. Fortunately I found Betty and all the care and support of MIP.Then I found a F2F meeting which became my home group. I wish I came to program 20 years ago, but I don't beat myself up over it. I'm here now. I feel better than I ever have in my entire life. I respect myself. It's all good!
we had this reading at a meeting in the city- which i attended yesterday.
I did not need my pushing or prompting to get to my first meeting. I made enquiries in my community where there was no meeting and a few of us got together and set one up.
I did not feel like I belong anywhere. Someone was going an Alanon promo in a paper locally- and reading this was the last push I needed to join up and help start a group.
Later this month our national GSO is hosting an outreach workshop in the city. Day-long...
...the neighbouring group I joined is sending me along.
My goal for this year was Tradition 5.
What is happening is that iI am connecting up with other oldtimers in other communities, at the moment. A good start. ...
Thank you Freetime for your service and the daily. Thank you all for your shares & ESH. I too could have benefited from an earlier start in this recovery program, yet also believe that when we are given the gift of desperation, we seek the help necessary to heal/deal. What I do know is that I am one who resists change unless/until I am ready to do so. This program works through Honesty, Open-mindedness & Willingness and only 1 of 3 of these comes naturally to my brain. The other 2 are more 'learned' in this gal.
I am grateful I got here when I did. I love the saying, When the student is ready.... - it just makes so, so much sense. I try really, really hard to just be where I am at - not wish for a different past or want for a different future. I always have hope for a better future but also know that I am truly blessed no matter what comes next when I stay planted in my own reality.
Happy Friday all - we're getting ready for a wicked week of blasting cold weather. I suppose hibernation will be perfect for me and I'm stocked up and ready! Have a great rest of day/evening all....(((Hugs)))
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thanks Freetime, and y'all...