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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Courage to Change - January 15 - Worry
Post Info TOPIC: Courage to Change - January 15 - Worry
Freetime


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Courage to Change - January 15 - Worry
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Today's reading describes a day in the life of someone worried about a crisis happening to an alcoholic -- unable to concentrate at work, projecting horrible outcomes, dreading what the future may bring.

The slogan One Day at a Time helps prevent leaping into the future. Worrying does not protect us from the future, it just keeps us from living in the here and now. 

Today's Reminder: I needn't explore how I'll feel about something that might occur in the future. I don't actually know how I'll feel and it may never happen. So when I feel myself leaving the present, I'll remind myself that the future is not today's problem.

Quote from A.J. Cronin: "Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrows; it only saps today of its strength."

-----------------------------------------------------

This is one of those pages that tells my story exactly!  The author writes about bargaining "that by worrying in advance, bad news will be easier to face if it comes." I've done the same thing.  

I used to think that by worrying in advance I could somehow prevent a feared event from happening.  I've learned to reason this out with myself.  

Worry follows me around like a shadow, but I tell myself "Look, if worrying does any good, you have already worried about this, so you can stop now."  One Day At A Time and This Too Shall Pass are helping me quite a lot these days. 

MIP friends, I hope we all can live in the present today.

 



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Enigmatic


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Thank you FT for your service and ESH, great, great page...

AlAnon helped me to see how the majority of my negative feelings stemmed from things that had never even happened. I was trying to prepare, or control the emotional outcome, for all possible outcomes to reduce my pain.

Taking one Day, hour and moment at a time drastically reduces the felt suffering and leaves me with better resources to handle the events that do arise.

So grateful for the wisdom of the program

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Paul

"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives."  - Paths to Recovery 
Debb


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Thank you FT, as well, for your service and ESH for todays C2C. Thank you to Paul for his ESH as well.

Worry for me came in many forms, basically because of the ranting and idle threats that I get from AH.

Al-Anon definitely has pointed me in the right direction concerning worrying about the future and how

to put those threats in perspective. Those threats are mostly rhetoric designed to control and I am not

fooled by them anymore. So grateful!

I am still working on dealing with finding a more consistent level of peace, but I'm getting there.

{{HUGS}}

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"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart" ~ Unknown

Debbie
Lyne


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Thank you FT for your service and all the above great shares. I too, had trouble living in the present. And it did really rob me from enjoying the day I had. In fact I was so fearful of the future and so accustomed to feeling awful, when I had some moments of peace or joy I could barely enjoy it. I knew bad was coming, so why feel good? The let down would be so much worse than if I just stayed feeling bad. Sick thinking, I know, but I didn't really get a grip on ODAT until practicing program for a few years. Things have changed! Even if I have a happy 5 min., I'll take it! I can accept that things will be changing all the time but I deserve to feel happy and at peace. If I find myself worrying about the future I tell myself to just stay in this day. I'm powerless, and I can't control the future. And I spent hours and days worrying about things that never happened. Program gives me great tools for living life in a more positive and sane way.

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Lyne
PosiesandPuppies


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Thank you Freetime for your service and the Daily. And it is a great one! It is good to know that I am not alone in my thinking.

I used to say that by thinking the worst will happen, 1) I would be "ready" when the fallout comes, and 2) pleasantly surprised when good happens.
I eventually found it was a terrible way to live my here and now! Because I never was fully in my here and now! LOL!

I know exactly who I learned this from. and I have forgiven him a long time ago, as he was raised in an unstable household with a mother who drank. I work each day to look at things in a whole new light...and to not pass on this way of thinking to my kid! I am breaking that cycle!

Finally Friday!!! I have been wanting this week to pass in the worst way! No real plans for the weekend (hello, COVID is rampant here now) but I think I just want permission to relax, and it's going to be unseasonably warm, so out in the yard I will go!!
Make today a good one, MIP family!

&



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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend

"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness."  Mary Oliver

 

 
SunnyFrogs


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I used to feel like I had to make up for AH's lack of worry, like it was my job to double-worry since he never seemed to at all.

It's so hard to not worry, I think that's just human nature whether there's addiction in the picture or not. I honestly don't think I have known anyone who hasn't been a worrier. It becomes so unhealthy and destructive though when it's obsessive. And I do try to not obsess but it doesn't always happen.

One day at a time is a good reminder that I so needed to read today.

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Iamhere


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Thank you Freetime for the daily and your service. Thank you all for your ESH & shares. I do believe that I've spent more time in my life worrying about things that I have absolutely no control over, and most have still not yet happened. It took this program, and practice to really embrace the present and One Day at a Time. I'm eternally grateful for a sponsor who would toss reality into my face each time I was worrying or panicked about what 'could' or 'might' happen.

Today, I am willing to do all that I can to stay in this one day. It's really all that I have, and my days just go much better when I can. This does not mean I can't get excited for a future event and practice hope for the future, etc. It just means, for me, that when I begin to worry, I am slipping back into self-will and stepping away from trusting my HP. I will always be reminded of my Aunt who said often/always, "If you're worrying, you're not praying." I did not realize the truth in this until I'd been in recovery and practicing our tools for quite some time.

We've got snow blowing around today - blizzard warnings in our area. Really, really happy I don't have to go out and about. The snow is pretty - I am just not fond of the cold! Make it a great day all - (((Hugs)))

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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging.  Pause before assuming.  Pause before accusing.  Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret.  ~~~~  Lori Deschene

 

 
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