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Post Info TOPIC: Happy New Year


~*Service Worker*~

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Happy New Year


Happy new year 

Happy new year to all who have contributed to this board  i have to be out at work over New Year.  For once this year it will be quiet. No bars are open. No parties are allowed.  No big parties are advertized 

It is probably the safest new year ever 

When I was in a relationship with the qualifier I was always trying to get him to spend those holidays with me.  I interpreted his need to be off with his brother or his friends as a rejection. 

Indeed it was not that he had to indulge his addiction. Celebrations are not possible for an addict. Last year at this time I was around a party which was full of older adults.  It was petty, childish, aggressive and really pathetic.  Most of all it was full of adults who were obsessed with #poor me#  

Their excuse for upsetting their neighbors was #poor me# I need to have a party.  

I know many people who can justify real disgusting bullying by their #poor me#.stance.  So the resolution is beware of #poor me's# they soon become lash out at everyone and justifying terrible behavior because of their #poor me#. 

I am looking forward to the new year. 

Understanding where the codependence.l comes from.as a.defense as a way to survive is so helpful.  Understanding where the boundaryless comes from is the core of resolving shame 

While we truly live in a dysfunctional culture in the USA, we have that other aspect of being willing to address problems 

I have been looking for a new therapist lately. Keep in mind therapists are not cheap most of them do not take insurance 

Most of the therapists I called had a full practice. 

That is a good indicator of the commitment that is out there.  I go to a meditation group once a week.  That group was a small one that met in a church so maybe 20.people could go. Now the group is on line and there are people.from all over the nation attending. After the pandemic the group will certainly be  virtual too. There is recovery everywhere. 

For me my recovery has come after a really difficult year. I started out fearful and ended up hopeful.  More hopeful than ever. Even with all the challenges ahead of me I am really looking forward rather tha. Dreading what it is come. I feel lighter, more responsive but most of all knowledgeable.

I wish you all a peaceful loving  new year. Last year we had no idea what was to come.  This next year we have a good idea and knowledge is powerful. We are no longer confused, we are no longer waiting for the shoe to drop but we are also crystal clear on what it will take to move out of where we are.  It is very seldom in life that I could see ABC so.clearly in front of me 

I am grateful to all of you for listening for caring but most of all for your commitment to recovery. Every day I am inspired encouraged and nutured by being here. I cannot think of a better place to be in the New Year but to be in recovery.

Maresie 

 



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Senior Member

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Mary, thank you for the "Happy New Year" wishes and so happy you are encouraged

by the new year's future for yourself!! You are an example of how Al-Anon does work,

when you work it and I feel and agree for myself, that is the case as well.

Wishing peace and light and a very happy New Year's to you, as well to everyone

on this MIP board.

__________________

"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart" ~ Unknown

Debbie



Senior Member

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Posts: 145
Date:

Happy New Year

"We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called opportunity and its first chapter is called New Years Day" ~Edith Lovejoy Pierce

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~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 2562
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  aww Happy New Year Maresie and y'all...

I was going to meditation last year. Scaled down- the group is tiny- 3 or 4 people, at most.

I turn 70 this month and plan to scale down my recovery. I have given it all my best. I plan to

stay in touch with my recovery family, especially here. My thinking- I have had scaffolding up for years.

Now it is time to take it down and to view the finished product.

I was always fond go "the butterfly effect". Keeping it simple. One day at a time. How a small influence,

a tweak- can have a lasting effect. A turnaround.

I see it in myself mostly- which is actually the only starting point.

So much of my life has been massively passive aggressive. So the impression is that there is a lot going on.

But it was like the motor is going full bore, but the vehicle has not been going anywhere.

Find that my thinking is straight these days. I can read stuff- and understand.

My strongest loyalty is towards people I have spent this journey with.

My focus has been on the newcomer.

Increasingly I have looked at the team model. No longer my sole responsibility to reach each and every new member!

Thanks. aww



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Each Alanon member is my teacher.                                                                                                                  



~*Service Worker*~

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Dear David 

You had absolutely no.choice bit to be passive agressive as a child. If you spoke up the abuse would have been worse much much worse.  

Whatever age we are recovery is indeed possible. I have seen many alcoholics get sober in their later years 

The recovery you have put together from.so many sources is indeed impressive

Now you are very far from passive aggressive in any shape or form. 

I think it is charming that you do not know how shut down and chaotic the rest of the world is.  By all rights new years eve should have some semblance of normalcy. Unfortunately due to the rigid selfishness of so many who will party on regardless we have to continue with abject chaos on our end 

Maresie 

 

 

 



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a4l


~*Service Worker*~

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Wow such powerful and beautiful shares this morning! Thank you so much. I ought to clean out my storage room today and pick some flowers with my children to make ei (or lei in Hawaiian). And take down the Christmas tree which really didn't fare too well this season with little two year old pairs of hands plucking the decorations to roll them under the furniture. I'm always excited for a new year. 2020 was a good year for me. It was a year that gave me evidence of my own resilience and fortitude with the realization that my energy is not a limitless supply. I have to make sure I invest enough of it into myself, with sleep, timeout, exercise. Lots of love to all our members.

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~*Service Worker*~

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awwMaresie...

 IAm belongs to a larger Alanon group- somewhere in the world. I was really really impressed at how meetings are held.

    I am fairly sure that last year this was very limited- because of the pandemic. I really like it here that I am close to a crew-the includes you- where we have similar issues and concerns. There is bond forming. I find it to be a place of healing...

...I am not smug that NZ has a super low death rate from covid. That there is a sense of security inside of our bubble.

Once the vaccines are administered- there will be a measure of relief. And there are the economic consequences to address.

I see this as a challenge- and I hope that people from all over the world will close ranks and address the issues.

In some ways I am looking at the addiction pandemic- which is not addressed widely. That we Alanon members are enmeshed in. 

The changes I look for I say" let it begin with me."

I am aware of the panic and pandemic fears around the world. I watch a bank of 8 Tv  channels- which covers the whole world. 



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Each Alanon member is my teacher.                                                                                                                  



~*Service Worker*~

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Happy New Year MIP family. Thank you Maresie for starting the thread and to all for the shares. I too get excited about the rollover to a new year. I rarely go out as I consider it amateur hour and have no interest in being on the roads, in a restaurant, etc. when we aren't engulfed with a deadly pandemic. In my area, we will ring in the New Year with an ice storm followed by a snow storm, all rolling in around midnight. I am grateful that most are staying home/in as our roads will be a slick mess!

I have approached this entire pandemic year with prayer and meditation for additional patience combined with a commitment to being part of the solution vs. part of the problem. I have some days better than others, yet am truly pleased that I've been true to myself. I have had to detach from many who have a different approach and try to not stand in judgement - so, so hard to do.

All I know is that when I lean into this program, trust my HP, practice recovery as best I can, my days are way better than not. I am gracefully and gratefully willing to accept my human form - perfectly imperfect. I am sending all of you positive energy and hope for a lovely, serene-filled 2021. (((Hugs)))

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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging.  Pause before assuming.  Pause before accusing.  Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret.  ~~~~  Lori Deschene

 

 



Newbie

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Happy new year everyone. I am new to this forum but I've been active in Alanon for a decade. Before Covid the weekly meetings were a great way for me to keep sane but now obviously that is difficult. This online forum is confusing and I've been reluctant to engage because I'm not sure how this works. Anyway, I want to get back into Alanon for the new year. I'm from Chicago and I'd like to say hello.

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Jeremiah



~*Service Worker*~

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Welcome to MIP Jeremiah! Glad you found us and glad that you jumped in. Happy New Year to you! If you go to the first page of the forum, there's a few stickies that might help you out. There's no wrong way to participate - we just do our best to share ESH with each other. Keep coming back!

__________________

Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging.  Pause before assuming.  Pause before accusing.  Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret.  ~~~~  Lori Deschene

 

 



Senior Member

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Posts: 132
Date:

I want to welcome you as well Jeretolso, go glad you found us! If you would like to start a whole new thread on this forum

just click the "Start New Topic" button at the top right, just under the log in box. I know, face to face meets are quiet scarce

during the pandemic, but you are so welcome to join in on any thread discussion or start your own. Happy New Year!

__________________

"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart" ~ Unknown

Debbie



~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 2495
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Wishing all my MIP Fam the Happiest of New Year!!

I have much hope for 2021. I hope that I am not proven incorrect!

I spent last night watching The Twilight Zone Marathon, toasting to 2021 with my son, and then saging the house - removing all the negative energy, and welcoming in positive energy, light, love, and good health! I also asked my HP to extend that intent to all that I love... that includes everyone here! 

Welcome, Jeremiah! Dig in... there is no "right way." Just like F2F meetings, we try not to "advise" others, but share our ESH!

&



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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend

"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness."  ~ Mary Oliver

 

 

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