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Post Info TOPIC: Lighting a candle for Betty


~*Service Worker*~

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Lighting a candle for Betty


One of the things that Betty would say to me when she had listened to my problems with dysregulation is to light a candle 

Betty had a practice of going to church and lighting a candle for others. I really appreciated the thought of her good intentions and hope for me. 

I thought of Betty as in invincible and bullet proof. 

 

Clearly she wasnt.  One of the projects I am involved in is to acco prevention. I have been stymied lately because the tobacco  industry stepped in and blocked a ban on flavored cigarettes. 

Betty was exposed to cigarette smoke. Her husband smoked. Betty herself smoked for a long time. 

I know that tobacco causes cancer

When I go back to that project I will be thinking of Betty.

We were robbed of her by cancer.   A canced that was growing for years before it took her 

The tobacco industry may win for a while but fighting them on her behalf is a good metaphor.   Tobacco the silent killer. 

Betty had a very full life and she adored al anon and believed fervently in the program 

I know she also adored her apartment, her wardrobe, new york city and her sister and her sister's children    Her passion for light was inspiring and I was always in awe of her 

I know al anon helped her up from the abyss that consumed her when her son died .

I miss Betty daily. I am going to light a candle for Betty for New Years 

I am going to embrace life in her memory because was such a force for good in this world. There are very few people like her, giving, kind, patient, passionate, humorous, cultured and committed. Every day was a challenge to Betty. She met those challenges elegantly flawlessly and passsionately every day.

How lucky we were to have her here with us to make such a contribution to our recovery. 

Maresie 

 

 

 

 



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~*Service Worker*~

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 Sweet, Maresie. aww The time I met Betty my mother in law passed away- in New Zealand. We dropped off our camper in New Jersey and traveled into NYC. We ended up near an Episcopalian church- and lit a candle there for her.

I met Betty a few days later and went to her meeting. She seemed proud to have visitor from far away. And to show off some of her members she had nurtured in person. She told me the story about her son- and about how her impassion for him saved her life on the day of 9-11. She worked in the World Trade Centre.

I am proud that we here closed ranks and honoured her. Some of us honour her- every day. aww ... 



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Each Alanon member is my teacher.                                                                                                                  

a4l


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Betty shared that she too went back to work at around 40. That really helped me at a time I felt scared of not having opportunities. I love that you're lighting a candle for our Betty Maresie.

God knows I've been meaning to light some myself for almost 12 years and this is a timely reminder to do so. The last time I consciously lit candles was for Muran Sukamaran and Andrew Chan when it was clear they would be executed in Bali. I think it was the anguish of their mothers which bought me to tears.
Lighting a candle for each man and his mother felt like an acknowledgement which transcended the physical restrictions of this earthly life.



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~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 932
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Dear a41 

I did not know that about Betty

I am so glad to.gave known her.

Betty is as at least the 5th person who has been killed by tobacco. 

I have candles at home. It is no longer possible to go inti a church here.  Everything but everything is closed. 

Maresie 



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Senior Member

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Mary and MIP family, lighting a candle is such a nice way to remember Betty, especially because she herself liked to do the same for others.

I will always remember Betty, she was fearless in the way she approached how she worded her posts to me when I needed to hear those

healing Al-Anon slogans. So grateful to her, she is a guiding light and lighting a candle for her is so appropriate!!

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"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart" ~ Unknown

Debbie



~*Service Worker*~

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I always appreciate you folks remembering and admiring Betty, a life well-lived and remarkable in many ways. Betty taught me so many lessons. After reading the posts today I recall Betty getting me started on accepting life on lifes terms. She was such a great role model because she didnt just talk the talk, she walked the walk. Whatever perceived catastrophe I was telling her about, she had a slogan and a tool and great perspective. I think I will light a candle for her too.

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Lyne



~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 1024
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Why am I so comforted reading this?

My friend told me about her church's practice of lighting a candle for someone who died. I didn't get it.
When our cousin died leaving 3 young children, another friend told me her temple's tradition of lighting a candle to invoke protection from the deceased's new viewpoint for his children. That's not my tradition or consistent with my understanding, but it comforts me.
Reading this does, too. Thank you!

I'm mentally inventorying my stash of candles. Looks like I can honor many for quite a while before I need to replace candles. I intend to honor others with this tradition.

A candle for Betty seems particularly correct for my memory of Betty. She provided her wisdom quietly, easily visible and left no destruction in the wake. She didn't point anyone's errors but her gentle "light" showed so many of us. Now we can pass it on.

RIP my friend.

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