Al-Anon Family Group

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.

Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
Post Info TOPIC: Courage to Change December 16


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1091
Date:
Courage to Change December 16


Hello MIP! 

In today's reading in C2C, the author shares that they once felt that they had to take care of everything and everybody - there was no choice in the matter. With the help of their Al-Anon program, the author realizes that they do have choices. Of course, there are responsibilities, but there are also many things that do not have to be done. For example, the author no longer must understand everything, be reluctant to show their feelings, fear the future, regret the past, feel alone, take responsibility for the actions of others, or give up in their own hopes and dreams. 

Today's reading does not have a reminder or a quote. 

----------------------------------

Today's reading reminds me that I have choices, and that so much of my own happiness depends on what I chose to focus on. I can feel overwhelmed when I just look at my responsibilities, for example, but I can also chose to think about how I spend my freetime, and focusing on what I enjoy (even when I'm washing dishes) helps me to feel better about how I spend my time. I don't have to waste my time on negative thoughts, or on worry about what others are doing of thinking. I Can let go of guilt and regret by working the steps, and I can focus my attention on myself, what I am doing, and how what I am doing can help me to move toward my hopes and dreams. 

The author ends their share today with "...my Higher Power is not limited by my lack of imagination." And I have found that to be very true for me. If I let go of the details, trust the process, and pay attention to little budges along the way, I have found that things work out buch better than I could have imagined. 



__________________

Skorpi

If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu



~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 579
Date:

Hello Skorpi and MIP, thank you for your service and today's C2C reading.

MIP and Al-Anon have definitely given me the tools to be ever mindful, which means I can focus (when I choice to remember!) on what is
happening in the moment and not on everything combined. I noticed that when AH get rolling in his rants, everything comes to mind and
overwhelms me. When I focus on just this one time, I am much calmer and focused to the situation and do what I have to do to detach.

My HP is awesome!!

{{HUGS}}

__________________

"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart" ~ Unknown

Debbie



~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 11569
Date:

Good morning all and Happy Hump Day! Thank you Skorpi for your service and the daily. Thank you both for your ESH & share. My hand is in the air - I am one who took on the weight of the world, including an irrational desire to fix everything for everyone and to fix everyone to my liking. I had the best of intentions always yet did not realize how unhealthy this was, not to mention -- quite selfish.

It took a ton of practice to focus on me, my needs, my attitude, my outlook, etc. My mind still wonders well beyond my own health & well-being - yet, I know now that I can bring things back to the here/now and trust in my HP to lead me accordingly. I am always amazed at how the God of my understanding helps me when I trust. I have been sad several mornings in a row upon awakening, and have added extra prayers for hope and relief...well - this morning, I was up and about and into my routine when I realized I had not woken up sad! I am so, so grateful for all the tools and suggestions in our program - it really does work when I work it.

We have another winter type day here - very cold to start the morning. I'm grateful for a home, heat and warm clothing....make it a great day all! Love and light always...(((Hugs)))

__________________

Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging.  Pause before assuming.  Pause before accusing.  Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret.  ~~~~  Lori Deschene

 

 



~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 2940
Date:

 

  aww Lovely share, Skorpi... 

my mum and dad, I call my mum and dad today. Both passed- 8, and 20 years ago. But at that time I had heaps and heaps of anger...

Worked through the steps- mostly within the group- not so much with a sponsor...

Recall buying my own shoes and then paying my exam fees at school. I started to earn part time at the age of 12...

...and some of this growing up process, and growing away from family was normal and some was fuelled by alcohol... from our parent's drinking.

We were not dirt poor. But pretty poor at the same time. Not like other families. I had holes in my shoes and had to stuff them with cardboard. But i did have shoes. My friend Ian, over the river, grew out of his shoes and got new ones. I got his. I loved those shoes.

I am talking now of my own natural responsibility... but at the time I had taken over some adult responsibilities our parents had neglected. They themselves were victims of alcoholism- and this was their expectation and culture...blankstare ...

 



__________________

Each Alanon member is my teacher.                                                                                                                  



Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 479
Date:

I would like to comment on the last line of this page where it says:

"I don't have to give up on my hopes and dreams- my HP is not limited by my lack of imagination." 

It's been so long since I gave time to my hopes and dreams I hardly know what they are anymore. I once loved to ride and have horses, now i do neither. It's been 12 years since I've been on a horse, and at 58 I'm afraid to get back on. There is a equine program near the town that i moved to. My HP is not limited by my lack of imagination, i could volunteer here and work on getting my life back on track again with horses. 

I'm sure there are other dreams that HP has in mind for me if I could just step out of my comfort zone and meet him where he is. 



__________________

I can Overcome all things through my HP who strengthens me.



~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1360
Date:

Hi Skorpi

For well over 10 years in my life in relationships I was bullied and coerced into dealing with Christmas on someone else's terms. If I.set a boundary I was punished for it
Basically the same thing that happened in my family. .
Ten years

This year I find I am having to set new boundaries. My ex room mate is particularly abusive over the holidays. I have dealtbwith him before around them. He looks for his opportunity. He lives to land his jabs. I need to take more care around him. I have been doing a lot better with all my boundaries.
I need to get even better with the boundaries
There are certain people I do not need to be around.

I have to take better care of myself. The holidays are hard. This year is hard. Last year was hard. I need to double up on my efforts.



Maresie







__________________
Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.