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Post Info TOPIC: Year in reflection


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 1360
Date:
Year in reflection


Like many of you I have had one hell of a year. 

Plenty of disappointments, a couple of complete disasters

Lots of unforseen expenses.

A great deal of frustration 

So yesterday I had another set back.

Normally I would be in complete catastrophe mode 

This set back is going to cost me time and money 

Yet I am not in full catatrophe mode 

More and more I have found the capability to let go 

I most certainly did not have that before 

I had a long list of what is wrong with my life .

I had an even longer list of how unfair that was 

Then I had a long list of what it would take to rectify it.

I obsessed.  I grieved. I was angry.

I felt shame. 

Making progress on something like this is huge for me. 

To be calmly addressing what is next is a gigantic step for me.

Maresie  

 

 

 



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~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 11569
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(((Maresie))) - I am sorry for whatever has raised up. I totally agree that it's been a hell of a year. I too know of nobody who's not been negatively affected. Each and every time I reflect on where I am this year, no matter the issue, circumstance, set-back, other -- I do end up at gratitude. I have an immense amount of gratitude that I have a program and support in these extremely trying, once in a lifetime times.

I reflect often on the last pandemic. I sit in awe at the strength, resilience and perseverance those folks must have had. While quarantining and social distancing is hard, isolating and inconvenient, we are so, so blessed with the many advancements made. Between having this program and the many ways we are able to connect that they did not have, I feel incredibly blessed to be in this pandemic vs. the last one.

It is my hope that you are able to keep doing what you're doing Maresie! You are facing 'it' with a solid program and a solid plan. Know that I am rooting for you to get to the other side as soon as possible. Love and light!

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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging.  Pause before assuming.  Pause before accusing.  Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret.  ~~~~  Lori Deschene

 

 



~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 579
Date:

Maresie, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts!! I can totally relate to you, concerning dealing with

unexpected expenses and disappointment. Like you I fret and worry for a time period and then come to

a workable resolution, but in the mean time I've spent way to much effort worrying. The bills will get

paid and if I have to use my credit card, that will eventually get paid as well. I must trust in my HP!

Thank you Tiredtonite and IAH for your ESH as well!! I agree with you all, 2020 has been a very difficult

year indeed.



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"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart" ~ Unknown

Debbie



~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 2940
Date:

 

  My middle years seemed impossible. It actually felt like I was drowning.

Now I am in a safe place- well as safe as it gets. The old me could have sabotaged this.

Like my natural comfort zone is chaos. Much less so today... 

...wishing you well for the coming year Maresie. Seeing what you are up against, I have utmost respect for you! aww ...



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Each Alanon member is my teacher.                                                                                                                  



~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 2795
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(((((Maresie))))

While of course I wish smooth sailing for you, and I wish that you never have to face the unexpected (especially the financial variety), I am rejoicing in the positivity and growth of your post!! Brava, sister in arms!!

When I first left my husband, I too was filled with the "poor me's." I had a lot of resentment that I didn't want to spew everywhere, so I internalized it. So I can truly relate to what you posted. It took me a good while to embrace and live the three A's: Awareness, Action (and probably the hardest of all), Acceptance.

Your program skills are strong, Maresie... and getting stronger with each passing hurdle!!

Thank you for sharing this personal story of awareness and ultimately, triumph!!

&

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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend

"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness."  Mary Oliver

 

 



~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 1360
Date:

Thank you all for your support 

I am indeed suffering from too muchness.  Too much uncertainity.  Too much boundsry crossing.  Too much not being able to count on anything 

It is way overload way way way overload 

The holidays have always been dlifficult there is nothing.new about that this year 

The one good thing about this year is getting really firm on boundaries 

If someone crosses my boundaries now they do not get another chance 

I am done with dealing with deadbeats they can keep their abuse to themselves 

 

 



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