The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I was telling an al-anon friend recently how my daughter reminded me of myself when she was dressed in her lab coat. My friend responded, "Don't do that." I responded with, "What and Why not?" Compare yourself to your daughter. She said because "Comparison is the thief of Joy." I had to think on that thought a moment and as I always do when faced with a new thought, I turned to our literature for some answers. In Courage to Change we have a reading on page 44 that talks about snowflakes and thumbprints. Each person in Al-Anon is different even though we have a common problem that brings us together. Where I go wrong is in comparing myself to others thinking I'm not good enough, or that others are doing better than I am in their program. This is where comparing my insides to other people's outsides will get me into trouble every time!
We are each unique in our gifts and special qualities that make us who we are. As Desiderius Erasmus says, "It is the chiefest point of happiness that a man is willing to be what he is."
__________________
I can Overcome all things through my HP who strengthens me.
Overcome - great share and topic. I grew up with a taught obsession with competing and comparing. As the youngest child and the only girl, it was absolutely insane and I never felt like I 'won'....
When I arrived at recovery, others suggested that it's unhealthy to compare ourselves to others, simply because we're comparing our insides to their outsides. I too had to sit with this for a while and over time, it made more sense to me. This topic and personal growth are exactly why I tend to avoid social media as it seems to me to be nothing more than an unhealthy obsession with competing/comparing often.
Not only is each person in Al-Anon different, each person I encounter is different too. When I can remember that each of us in made perfectly imperfect and nobody is better/worse than another, my days go much, much better. I believe it to be so true that comparing with/to others robs us of our joy!
Love and light to all - happy, happy Saturday!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I tend to agree... Comparison IS the thief of Joy. I used to be envious of some people on this very board b/c they were so balanced, so sound of mind! Exactly when I thought I was "doing good," they would come along and remind me that I wasn't doing "it" quite right. It was never anything said directly. The point of this is, it was MY OWN THOUGHTS BRINGING ME DOWN. I was comparing. I was forgetting that while we all have SIMILAR stories, we are each unique. Our journeys are all individual, tailored to our needs!
Thank you for the reminder!
__________________
"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
