The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Good morning MIP family. Today's reading talks about how an attitude of gratitude really can change things up. The author suggests that they were sure there had to be somebody in this world who would understand all moods, always have time for them and always bring a smile to their face. Fairy-tale thinking, to include when that individual appeared, the love deserved would be had. The author felt the only choice was to wait, which resulted in self-pity, sadness and loneliness.
At an Al-Anon meeting, gratitude was suggested! The fairy-tale scenario above began to fall apart and when the author considered how much there was to be grateful for, the fantasy began to diminish. Reality presented a different picture - friends, children, co-workers, Al-Anon members and even the beloved alcoholic who gave love - the author found themselves processes what were they doing with their love? They realized they were brushing it aside waiting for that one imaginary person to appear or not even noticing it.
Reminder: If I can't recognize the love that already exists in my life, would I really appreciate receiving more? Let me acknowledge what has already been given to me.
Quote from Meister Eckhart: "If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, 'thank you,' that would suffice."
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I have to raise my hand and own that I could have written this. I spent my life looking for love in all the 'wrong places' and truly expected and hoped for a movie-style love story or perhaps a Leave it to Beaver type of family.
I was so blinded by what I thought 'love' was and what I wanted, that I was oblivious to love given to me by so many, unconditionally. Just as the author discovered, when I began to make gratitude lists each day and truly look at all my blessings in spite of the disease, chaos, drama and pain, things began to shift for me.
My sponsor was so very helpful for this process/growth. She made me really consider the difference between my wants and needs and to focus on getting my needs met by self, and then others. Wants are 'hopes' and not needs; when I was able to embrace this, unconditional acceptable and unconditional love were much easier to practice.
My serenity is available in direct proportion to my spiritual condition. My spiritual condition is in direct proportion to my willingness to practice prayer, meditation and trust in a higher power. Practicing prayer, meditation and trust in a higher power leads me to unconditional love and acceptance. When I let it begin with me and self, I am better able to then practice with others. Realizing that my needs are met, perhaps in ways different than desired is what best keeps me centered, one day at a time.
Al-Anon has helped me greatly in processing and repairing some of my faulty thinking and unrealistic expectations. Today, I am better at giving and receiving unconditional love & acceptance. Make it a great day all - grateful to be home, in the warmness....
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
IAH, thank you for your service and great share. The idea you raised about learning to get my needs met by me was quite a challenge. For many years, I only looked to others to "complete" me and of course, what a disaster! Being able to practice gratitude, along with being able to see the assets and blessings I already have, are some of the amazing gifts of this program. One of the first things I did this morning was acknowledge somethings I'm grateful for. It's a good way for me to start my day.
I accept now that all those readings went in one ear out the other, a lot of the time during my years in Alanon. Dissociation, Brain Fog, numbing... all the same thing... but some things stuck to me.
I reckoned about 17 years ago that i had gotten to the stage that Joan and Joe Average was at- and that the rest was a bonus...
...I went from the paralysis of analysis to an attitude of gratitude. This was my mantra. o get there I called my anger our and called it rage. I called my anger out and called it terror. But then love and joy came out of that too. It was deeply embedded and all but lost.
As a kid growing up I dreamed of the white picket fence. A life free of trouble and care.
I could stand in that dream now and feel glad that I had been born. The circumstances weren't ideal. But who gets to chose?
There is a mish-mash- between me taking care of myself; and me being able the connect with like minded people with whom I can share segments of the journey. In recent years I have had a bestest ever friend. And after that one to two more who fitted that category.
Being in Alanon has given me a depth and a richness I did not see coming. It just sort of grew on me.
Good morning, all (it's still morning for me) -- and thank you for your sharing and service. Gratitude -- that's the key for me. It's my key to happiness.
David, I loved your line -- Being in Alanon has given me a depth and a richness I did not see coming. It just sort of grew on me.
Have you ever thought of submitting something to an Al-Anon publication, like The Forum? I'll bet they would publish this one.
Thanks Iam and Lyne...