The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Happy Thursday MIP. The reading for today discusses our goal in Al-Anon - an overall sense of wellness - mental, spiritual and emotional. The writer suggests lamenting for years over the absence of a label that would help identify the soul sickness that brought them to Al-Anon. She found many of the labels tossed around missed the mark...
Going back to basics, the writer suggests her journey in Al-Anon began by seeking recovery from the way a loved one's alcoholism affected her life. Over time, we all realize Al-Anon offers us much more than this. As we grow, we find that we no longer just want to survive. The program principles and tools can help us create a rich and fulfilling life.
Reminder: As I continue on the never-ending path of spiritual progress, I will expand my view of recovery.
Quote from The Twelve Steps and Traditions: "In Al-Anon we believe life is for growth, both mental and spiritual."
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This page spoke to me when I first read it and continues to do so. In all the various self-help efforts I deployed in my life, labels were often thrown about. Depending upon the day, my mood and life events at the time, I kept trying to label myself so I could choose a 'best process path' for success.
When I arrived at Al-Anon, I continued this 'effort'. I had spent a lifetime competing & comparing myself (insides) to others (what they show) and felt I always came up short. This page set me free - free to just keep practicing this program, the various tools and to grow, change, heal and deal as I can/want/need to.
For me, this program has given me greater awareness of myself, which has helped me change. It's also given me the freedom to realize I have no right or need to judge others, no matter who they are, what they are doing or saying. So, when I set myself free from trying to apply labels to myself and my 'isms', I chose to do the same for others. I don't care or get caught up if I am (insert label here) or not, I just need to move forward, one step at a time, one day at a time.
I am a grateful member of Al-Anon, and so much more. I am not a victim of my past, but instead a victor. I am perfectly imperfect and I am enough. Make it a great day all - headed to the golf course shortly....find and keep your joy!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thank you IAH for your service and great share. I came to alanon to fix my A and instead I'm learning how to fix myself. What a big surprise, but what an important change of plans. I also compared myself to everyone and was always at the end of the line in every way. Betty taught me many important life lessons, one being: to compare is to despair. I try now to compare myself to me, and see if I am behaving the way I can to bring myself respect and self-esteem. And Deepak Chopra says we are above no one, and below no one. The alanon teachings I try to exhibit are to be compassionate and caring, to all. It's a tall order! I'm trying.
Mahalo Ladies for the service and shares. I am one male member who can say without shame that my recovery was started and supported by the women of Al-Anon and one AA member who was supporting my alcoholic/addict wife and who knew what would help me most and best from the start. My wife came home from a AA meeting on night and said her sponsor suggested I try several Al-Anon meetings and I was in the position of proving everyone wrong there as I was in the AA meetings I went to. "They were all wrong and crazy" and I would continue to prove it. I was a sad, bad mess at the start. The original suggestion was to do 90 meetings in 90 days to learn and I did 102 meetings before arriving at "well maybe". I usually sat in a room of 39 females most often being the only male and they were not cozy with me as often I was disruptive in attitude.
That is not over now as I keep coming back using daily literature, prayers and meditation, MIP and ZOOM groups as I can. I learned that there is no recovery from alcoholism and drug addiction and just recently was reminded of that by a mental, emotional relapse I had no idea was coming on. I did the 9th step on it immediately both people being very new acquaintances who may have been hurt by my behavior. I may find out in the future.
It took less courage to do it this time. I didn't have to travel 26hundred miles both ways like the first 2 events. The program doesn't suggest I take short-cuts. A my HP and the experience told me it was proper.
Thank you for allowing me to stay in the room. I haven't been asked to leave a meeting in a long while and for that I am grateful.
IAm... ...... great share and great response... ...
In my world i am looking at intergenerational trauma and C-PTSD as a scientific, or hunch based explanation for why things are. But, I, myself has to guard against the paralysis of analysis, in this process. Also against the temptation to think- that with more knowledge I could help others... :)
Alanon has it's own Adult Child manual- "From Survival to Recovery" I think this says all. Maybe today we could also addiscovery- to those words...
...I like it here because we do speak as parents, children, partners of alcoholics. Addicts as well, really, since alcoholism is just another form of addiction. I think we have a unifying force here, powered by a force for good- greater than ourselves!
Tomorrow is an assembly. I actually feel excited- to see old familiar faces- and hoping to see new faces, new blood coming in.
Certainly I have not done so much group work/stuff since ah joined this group!
Hi Iamhere, when I read that reading yesterday, and on reading the sharing, here, I thought to myself of how different everyone is. As I quiet like saying to myself that I am a recovering controller, caretaker, etc. I don't have a problem in saying that or believing it. When I say that to my friends, they laugh at me. I need to see me recovering, that was who I use to be, can still be at times. I need to have the balance, do a Step 10 often, as I know that was one part of me that was very strong, so I need to take it out and look at it sometimes, to see how I am doing or not doing. Or where I am now.
My recovery is so important and I want to give myself the best chance I can to get better and have a different life to the one I had in the past.
IAm... ...
... great share and great response... 
iscovery- to those words...