The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The writing for Monday, 11/16, asks the question, how does one actually detach? The writer admits it isnt easy when we are embroiled in all kinds of trouble day after day. They remind us to find a moment in the day to express a few words and think of their meaning: Let go and let God, Live and let live, or Easy does it.
Reminder: I know that constant dwelling on my troubles lessens my ability to see them clearly and make wise decisions. I will not complicate the present by reviewing the past; not will I dread what may happen tomorrow. One way to make detachment easier is to eliminate the past and future from my thoughts.
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I think this author makes good sense both in the narrative and reminder. I must say that I did a better job of coping and detaching prior to Covid. I do feel worn down by it a bit and its hard not to worry with the new increase of cases. And then throwing in the ups and downs of regular life with my A, dog illness, etc., it can be a daunting task to detach. I will keep in mind that program does work, and at times I have amazing detachment. I will try not to focus on the past or future. I will try to be in the present moment I have. And sometimes I remind myself gently to get a grip!
Thank you Lyne for your service and the daily. When it comes to detachment, it is a practice, practice, practice thing for me. I am not entirely sure I have any answers other than just keeping things simple, living one day at a time and using our tools as suggested. I do know that the more I obsess about other people, places and things, the more my anxiety kicks up and it seems to be a vicious cycle.
I do best when I am able to consider the facts of the moment, basic and real, vs. my emotional response to the moment. It's still so easy for me to start projecting when 'life' happens which simply complicates detachment for me. If I can use that pause and pray before I proceed, I am better equipped to take healthy action vs. not.
Happy Monday all - headed to the golf course shortly - make it a great day!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I think for right now, Easy Does It will be my mantra. Due to the type of work I do, I get industry bulletins daily, and many of them are about COVID-19. The future for a workable vaccine is looking good... we just need to get there. In the meantime, things are not looking good about the spreading of the virus - which amps up my anxiety. From information I received, I made sure to text my friends to advise them to stock up on at least 3 months worth of their normal medications.... all but one of my friends thanked me. The one friend responded with, "OK, if that ever happens." Since I care about her deeply, I was dismayed that she wouldn't heed my advice... b/c hard times are coming (if not already here for many states). But instead of ruminating about it all day yesterday, I chose to apply Al-Anon slogans/principles to this situation. This alleviated my anxiety greatly!! I had to remind myself that I cannot control others! Such a constant push and pull with me! LOL!
In other words, I detached from the outcome of my information sharing. I am putting that energy into praying for my friend's health and safety, knowing full well that I cannot control that outcome!
So I will move forward in my Monday, with "Easy Does It" in the forefront of my mind!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
I cannot deny that I deeply love the shares you all put out. My brothers and sisters in recovery give my recovery special power and I know for certain today that when I let your ESH into my mind, spirit and need life gets so very much more simple for me. I am not a lazy person and I am not perfect so I "Take what I like and need" and "Practice, Practice, Practice. I have more smarts today because I can and do use your ESH along with mine. Mahalo (Thanks) ((((hugs))))
-- Edited by JerryF on Monday 16th of November 2020 05:03:07 PM
...I think I began to detach from day one- but it was very slow and gradual.
In recent years I picked up on Concept 4. Participation is the key to harmony. I meditated on this simple phrase a fair bit.
It became a banner for me. Maybe I was healing and taking part a bit more than usual?
with me I always sought harmony in my world. Peace. This stemmed from my family- who needed a whole heap of peace!
But i began to realise that harmony came from within. From a painful dark place my HP had begun the craft the person I was intended to be. I spent a major part of my life feeling suicidal. What a tragic loss of opportunity. ...
My life seemed to be blighted. Even when opened my mouth I seemed to invite crisis.
I think a genuine sense of gratitude will open the door- to harmony, love, empathy... and that takes a fair bit of nurturing...
...thanks for the help! Kia ora koutou... [health and wellbeing to y'all!]
Thanks David. Your post rings true for me also and memories are similar. Today the memories are positively similar and I am grateful for it.
The major understanding which changed my thinking and behaviors came when in Al-Anon the First Step gave me, "Admitted I was powerless and that my life had become unmanageable" both the understanding and the consequences of it. That is more a cultural understanding today than a mere mantra. It is fact; it is true.
Yes habit from the past entices me to past beliefs and behaviors and still knowing what unmanageable is urges me to Step two, Three and the complete 12. Thanks for your wisdom. ((((hugs))))
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