The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
In today's share, the author reflects on the definition of insanity - doing something over and over the same way and expecting different results. The author tried to control people, thinking that they knew best that their way was the right way. Step 3, turning our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God, helped the author give up the insanity of trying to control others.
Today's Reminder: I may find it easy to point to the alcoholics irrational or self-destructive choices. It is harder to admit that my own behavior has not always been sane. Today I can let go of insisting upon my will. With this simple decision I make a commitment to sanity. Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new end. As We Understood . . .
Today's Quote: Family Groups, Al-Anon. Courage to ChangeOne Day at a Time in AlAnon II (p. 321). Al-Anon Family Groups.
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I love the quote from today - each day, we can start new and decide to make a different end. And, as one old timer put it, a new 24 hours starts every minute.
I still find myself in the insanity of trying to control, doing the same thing, expecting different results at times. Especially with the cat litter boxes. Well, maybe I've got some improvement there, because I do the same thing, but don't expect a different result, lol. Keeping the focus on myself and my actions has been very useful, because I'm the one person I can control, and I'm glad to have the program to support me.
AW went in for surgery this morning - it was planned, but is going to be outpatient instead of 48 hours inpatient because there aren't enough beds available because of COVID. If it could have waited, I think they would have waited, but the next available time for the specialists is March, and they didn't want to wait that long. It was nice to see an AlAnon friend when I got home from dropping her off. (I'm not allowed in the hospital because of COVID) Especially thankful for the program today!
__________________
Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
Thanks Skorpi for your service and honest share. Best wishes for your wifes speedy recovery without complications. I also love the idea that a new 24 hours starts every minute.
Having trouble keeping sane because my 15 yr old dog will be put down Monday at the latest. Shes been a beautiful, loyal, and wonderful best friend. In general, my dogs have helped me stay sane during these alcoholic years with my A. The heavy drinking started about the time we got them. It is going to be a staggering loss. Will try and focus on the excellent time I have had with her, and will enjoy our other dog who just turned 3. She will also feels the loss because she has been waiting for Ginger by the door when she has gone out for her doctors appts.
I am so sorry you will be losing your dog over the holidays
I have lost s number of animals over the past years in al anon
The time xertainly goes by very quickly with them but it is all joy. I.miss my.dog tremendously
I know your dog had a wonderful life with you. What a gift.
Dogs are so accepting. My dog is currently staying with my former roommate and he loves it there. He thrives wherever he is. After 4 months with an alcoholc roommate I felt terrible
The dog is quite hapoy whereever he is.
I hope you will lean on us in the nxt few weks. The holidays are always difficult. This holiday is particularly difficult because we are in a pandemic. I know I am doing a lot better this holiday but I have to work realy hard to stay there
.We know our time is limited with our pets and it is really hard to accept that
You deserve the space to grieve
My former qualifuer left me with all our pets. I had to tale on his dog because he was so neglectful
That made my options incredibly limited and of course cost ne a fortune. I never regretted for one minute taking that dog. The qualifier simlly was not interested in being responsible.
My dogs helped ne so much when I finally left the qualifier That included a time where I paid fior his place so the dogs would have a home. He could not even manage that every day was yet another crisis.
I sm so glad you had your pets to give you solace through those very very hard times. I know how very lonely and sad it is to be dealing with alcoholism.
-- Edited by Maresie888 on Wednesday 11th of November 2020 09:02:55 PM
Thanks Scorpi and gals...I learned a lot from that definition because I was deep in denial about what was coming about the consequences from what I was attempting to do with and about my alcoholic/addict. Of course it was the same for the alcoholics before her and I didn't know then also. My unmet expectations resulted in me attempting to get what I wanted by using physical means; violence and that didn't work either except to wake me up and scream "I cannot do this anymore!!" yet I was not in program yet and still didn't have answers especially the insane ones I heard from people in recovery who were doing well, much better than I.
I got into Al-Anon because of the passed on suggestion from my spouse's sponsor. Get that? from a female AA person and while at first I continued to walk the border of insanity for a while eventually I capitulated and peaked in the doors and considered listening to the pitches from other members and AA guys. I did several meetings of each program and then my HP caught up with me and killed the fight. One expectation with a different result arrived came and I no longer had the fight inside and I relaxed and came to understand I could not and would not be able to change anything but go to a meeting. It worked !! and I am here with you and the MIP family and the Al-Anon Family Groups and more.
I had a recent control slip I'm too embarrassed to detail here. I was in that moment out of my head insane with the feeling of powerlessness and couldn't for the life of me remember feelings are not facts. It was minor from a historical perspective of control outbursts but left me with a hangover of shame and anxiety, low self esteem. The gift though was the logical understanding sinking into emotional connection. I'm an addict to emotionally unavailable, wounded and 9/10 times alcoholic men. Trifecta actually.... Last three consecutive situationships varying in lengths of 2 months to 6 months to almost ten years.......all as described.
Lyne, I'm very very sorry to read about your beloved companion. I have great admiration for people who are able to practically express love for animals through loving care and connection. I hope you will be okay.
Well, maybe I've got some improvement there, because I do the same thing, but don't expect a different result, lol. Keeping the focus on myself and my actions has been very useful, because I'm the one person I can control, and I'm glad to have the program to support me. 
