The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The other day I Facebook messaged (bad idea to begin with, lol!) a very old friend to tell her I was really enjoying seeing pictures she posts of her new kitten. I told her I was thinking of getting one myself, because I have been.
She never responded.
I looked the next day and she had read my message.
I also realized that a few years ago I had sent her a message which she had also seen but blown off.
The next day, when I woke up, God had a message on my mind that went something like this: When no one wants you to step into your beautiful life and live it, that's exactly what you should do. You deal with a lot of rejectors.
I sent the friend another Facebook message and told her this -- what I had woken up with -- and I thanked her.
Sure enough, she messaged me RIGHT BACK.
She said, "Oh, sorry, I was busy...." and went on to talk about there cat.
No ph-cken way. I saw the message come in, but didn't open it. HARD for us Alanons. There's a way to read part of a message on your phone without opening it. SO I saw the gist of it. But it didn't matter what it said. I wan't opening it.; I trusted myself.
I blew her off instead.
I am getting better at moving on without looking back. And saying what I want without the fear of what anyone thinks.
I had done nothing wrong to her, I was always kind, and was her old friend.
SHE did wrong, and she knows it.
I am no one's doormat. I can and WILL move on... and KEEP moving on, throughout my life... until I reach my spiritual potential.
There's more here, like my going back to people when I already know (but forget) who they are. And there's my loneliness that plays a part too.
Still, I am very glad I wasn't afraid to tell her my true feelings, and I moved on, and I wasn't afraid of "what anyone might say about me".
-- Edited by anewdayeveryday on Tuesday 3rd of November 2020 08:14:15 AM
Thanks for the share Anew! Boy - I am probably guilty of your friend's actions, never intending to ignore another. I don't use FaceBook 'public' at all anymore. However, I still have my account and can get private messages on my phone. I also belong to numerous private groups. If I read a PM on my phone, and forget to respond, one could 'see me this way' too. Today, I choose to just always give others the benefit of the doubt, simply because recovery has taught me we're all perfectly imperfect. I will say that I am so not a fan of FB at all as it does bring out the worst in me.
As far as rejection, what I heard early on in recovery is something like, "One's rejection of me is actually God's protection of me." When I feel I am being rejected, this brings me comfort! Self-care is always so very important, and I will say that self-advocacy is another gift recovery has presented to me.
Keep doing what you're doing and - yes - honesty is so very, very important as we recover from the affects of the disease of alcoholism. There's always hope and help in recovery!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thanks for the share Anew! Boy - I am probably guilty of your friend's actions, never intending to ignore another. I don't use FaceBook 'public' at all anymore. However, I still have my account and can get private messages on my phone. I also belong to numerous private groups. If I read a PM on my phone, and forget to respond, one could 'see me this way' too. Today, I choose to just always give others the benefit of the doubt, simply because recovery has taught me we're all perfectly imperfect. I will say that I am so not a fan of FB at all as it does bring out the worst in me.
As far as rejection, what I heard early on in recovery is something like, "One's rejection of me is actually God's protection of me." When I feel I am being rejected, this brings me comfort! Self-care is always so very important, and I will say that self-advocacy is another gift recovery has presented to me.
Keep doing what you're doing and - yes - honesty is so very, very important as we recover from the affects of the disease of alcoholism. There's always hope and help in recovery!
"She never responded.
I looked the next day and she had read my message.
I also realized that a few years ago I had sent her a message which she had also seen but blown off."
I trust myself. I know exactly what I see. !
I am beginning to protect my every boundary. And I love it.
I know exactly what I see. 
!