The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The idea of being grateful to be involved with an alcoholic -- that seemed crazy to the author of today's page. It was unbelievable that people in Al-Anon seemed to be happy despite their problems -- the same problems the author had.
Now, the author is a grateful member of Al-Anon. They had to hit bottom and feel their own pain before they could reach out for help. Now they have a Higher Power, supportive friends, forgiveness, and peace of mind.
Today's Reminder: Today I will practice gratitude. I will think of some of the things, big or small, for which I am grateful. Maybe I'll even put this list in writing or share it with an Al-Anon friend. Sometimes a tiny action can be a great step toward seeing my life with increasing joy.
Quote from ODAT: "When things look blackest, it is within my power to brighten them with the light of understanding and gratitude."
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I think I understand how some people can say they are grateful to have an alcoholic in their life. I kind of get it. But I cannot say I am grateful that my loved one had the disease of alcoholism, which caused them as much suffering as it caused me. And that loved one didn't get to have a joyous life in recovery, like I have now.
But I certainly am grateful, like the author, that when I reached my bottom, Al-Anon was there. I have been profoundly grateful ever since I first walked in the door of that meeting room. And if I had not gone through the pain of living with alcoholism, I might not appreciate as much as I do, the life I have today.
So maybe that difficult time was a kind of "seasoning" that makes me taste the joy of life as much as I do now. While I can't truthfully say I am grateful for alcoholism, I can say that having been in the dark makes me appreciate the daylight even more.
Thank you Freetime for your service and this Daily!
This is piece of C2C that I never understood. As grateful as I am for Al-Anon and the Tools, Slogans and support, I can never get behind being grateful for the disease being a part of my life. This disease literally stole the man I married right from under my nose! It took our relationship, our marriage, our family life, and now I guess whatever friendship we had post-divorce, as we are no longer speaking. I still mourn what I lost (although I am getting better accepting what is my reality), and I am so saddened that my Ex's mind has been so affected by the effects of this disease. He is not the same person... not even close.
That off my chest, I do actively practice an Attitude of Gratitude daily. I believe it helps me to see what good I DO have in my life right now.
Grateful member, &
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Thank you Freetime for your service and the daily....thank you both for your ESH & shares. For me, I'm grateful for the disease only because the treatment for 'it' has been life changing for me. AA & Al-Anon both have given me insight into me that I never would have had without the disease and the treatment for it. It's also given me insight into others, how I see them, how I love them, how I accept them, etc.
Not entirely sure why, I lived my life (Before Recovery) in a perpetual state of disappointment combined with anxiety and fear. As I examine me, my life, what makes me tick, etc. I see now that my expectations of self and others were often too high. I have always been and remain to be 'up for a challenge' and try my best. The difference today is I don't consider myself a failure if I don't 'get there'. I don't even consider it a set back, I just accept it as life and keep moving forward.
Before Recovery, I had many labels - daughter, sister, friend, wife, mom, cousin, niece, employee, etc. I partitioned my existence trying to be the best of all of these. It was exhausting and truly not healthy. Today, I am just me. I don't like labels any more and rarely use them. What I believe now is that when I remain open, humble and willing to grow, change and be of service to those in need (who ask), I am the best version of me. Focusing more on growth and service has propelled me to be a much better person, no matter what I'm doing or whom I am being of service to.
I'm a grateful member of Al-Anon & AA. Practicing unconditional love and acceptance of me and all those around me has been a great gift! Realizing and accepting the difference between my wants & needs is another great gift of recovery. I can't imagine what my life would be without the divine intervention of recovery. I'm grateful for all of you in my life as well as the gift of MIP. Happy Friday all - make it a great day!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Sister that is a very very good read for me because it is filled with the leadership I use to hear and feel and a newbie starter program person. "LISTEN !!' was the never ending suggestion from my sponsorship and the elders I use to hang with; and then "LISTEN WITH AND OPEN MIND" which kept me in the solutions longer to get as much as I could at anyone period of time. I still am doing that because it is invaluable on many levels. Progress continues and at times I sensed perfection based upon the spiritual consequences.
Mahalo for the ESH I grow by both the similarities and the differences. (((hugs)))
Thank you for your service and share of a great page, FT, and for all of the shares above. Thanks to AlAnon, I feel I am able to understand the perspectives of those who shared, a true gift in itself.
For me, my dealings with someone who I loved and struggled with alcohol was the beginning of what would be a worldview change for me. It was the first time I felt so beaten down, defeated, and helpless that I was moved to seek help and ultimately admit that there was something over which I was powerless.
For a time, I did lose that relationship entirely; immensely painful. But through the process of working the AlAnon program's 12 steps of AA I began to see that my illness reached into all other areas and relationships of my life. I slowly began to change my perceptions, thinking, and actions. I began to see the need to redefine my own use of alcohol. I reconnected with a Higher Power of my understanding that I thought was lost forever. I found true serenity for the first time in my life.
Despite many deep losses in my life, nothing beat me like alcohol. There are reasons that I believe I may never have recognized the need to make the changes I have if I had not encountered the alcoholic in my life. It is terrifying for me to consider that I would likely still be out there, trying to direct the show and everyone of the actors around me, insisting that I knew how it should go, and livid that it somehow was not.
For this new lease on all areas of my life, I am immensely grateful to AlAnon and the 12 Steps of AA. It brings me no pleasure to have witnessed the ravages of the disease in loved ones, friends, and myself, however. It is a terrible, dreadful disease that steals humanity, dignity, and the desire to live and love in a healthy way. It is a horrible way to live, even worse way to die.
I see it as my choice to pull gratitude from the experiences in my life, for there is always a lesson or insight to learn. Some of these came at a very high price, those surrounding alcoholism certainly have for me.
I am grateful for the awakening, with gratitude itself something that I learned to practice in ALAnon...so in this sense, and after a long, sometimes very painful journey, I count myself among those who feel grateful to have encountered alcoholism in a loved one...It saved my life
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Paul
"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives." - Paths to Recovery
I was so happy to come back to this thread and read the replies!
No, I am not perfect. I don't even do this program perfectly. But I know that I am open-minded enough to be enriched by all the shares/experiences of the members above!
I have always believed that we are never "done" learning. Like Paul mentions, "...for there is always a lesson or insight to learn." I so believe this!!
I appreciate all the POV's.
Wishing you all & this weekend!
__________________
"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Dear Freetime. I totally Agree with what you said. I am not grateful for having alcoholics in my life . But I am grateful that I have a place to go to recover from all the damage they did to me. I am grateful that I had a way to sort out the pain and the resentment and the anger and to become a better person in myself thanks to the steps and the slogans and the loving community of Al/Anon
I am grateful that I did have a safe and healing place to go to recover and The wonderful people I have met in the community I am grateful for as well. This is the best therapy I could even think about for myself so for that, I am very grateful.
I.can certainly relate to the issue. My qualifier made me have to look at new options for living or rather drownng in oain . While I.believe my chronuc oist trainatic stress disorder set me up that I was most certainly prone to those relationships. So it is really the chicken and the egg situation. Chronic post traumatic stress disorder made it likely for me to navigate the world in the throes of flashbacks, shifting boundaries and most certainly despair. Indeed various chronic post traumatic stress disorders responses that include a fawn/please response. Indeed having suffered through another triggering relationship this year I became conscious of these responses that are maladaptive and cause me tremendous pain. At one time the please/appease response was particularly compulsive for me. So identifying these patterns and learning new skills has been a revelation for me.
So there it is the end of suffering through maladaptive responses because I finally have options that work That is heakthy boundaried options that do not include being victimized.
What a truly blessed way to end a very very difficult year.
& 
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