The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
In today's reading, the author reflects on how their attitude toward others tends to return to them. If the author is impatient with others, they find they are even less patient with themselves and the world. If they are unkind to someone, defensiveness follows as the author expects others to be unkind. But, accepting others unconditionally makes everything feel safer. The author came to the conclusion that it is in their own best interests to treat others as they wish to be treated, since, in the long run, the author tends to get back what they give out. When the author is unhappy about what they receive from others, they now consider looking for that same behavior in themselves. The author finds that usually, what they dislike in others is something they also dislike about themselves. And, the reverse is likely also true - what the author admires in others likely reflect a positive quality they possess.
Today's Reminder: There is something for me to learn from every interaction I have with other people. I will make an extra effort today to take note of the attitudes I'm giving and receiving because they both can teach me about myself.
Today's Quote: "Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not." Ralph Waldo Emerson
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I like today's reading, and I have often found it to be true that the things that annoy me about other people are things I dislike about myself. And also the things I appreciate most about others are qualities I find within myself as well. Now, when I am especially annoyed by someone, I thank my HP for the opportunity to practice my program. I cling to patience in the moment, and take some time later to reflect on what qualities in myself I might find so troubling. Similarly, when I admire something about someone, I take the time to explore where those qualities might sit with me. Often, there are there, waiting to be noticed.
It has definitely gotten colder - snow for the first time this year yesterday. My weekend plans include figuring out how to get my new rose bushes settled for the winter. I'm glad I have youtube for instructions! Hope you make today a great day!
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
Thanks for your service Skorpi, and great reminder from C2C.
This is a page I keep on my 'work' list, always important for me to look back to me for what I can work on and attitudes to adjust. Always something for me to do!
Yes, it is that time to batten down the hatches and close things down, YouTube is a great resource although I find myself getting sidetracked so easily...it's worse than going to a sporting goods store for me, totally lose track of time...good luck!
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Paul
"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives." - Paths to Recovery
Thanks Skorpi for your service and share. I strive to practice the Golden Rule: Treat others as I want to be treated, and program has taught me a great deal about having forgiveness and compassion for others. Everyday gives me a chance to practice.
Snow will be coming to my area possible on Friday. Time to find those boots....
Thank you Skorpi for your service and thank you to those who have shared.
I was raised with "The Golden Rule." I truly believe in it, and strive to live by it. I am harder on myself than others. One thing one of my Step 4's revealed was that I can be impatient with people if they don't match my level...I may not outwardly show it, and would never think of making someone aware of it, but it is a negative force within my body and mind. I recognize it as EGO. Each day I ask my HP to give me patience with others, and to remove that tone of impatience from my voice when I am dealing with them. I don't like that tone. It makes me sound less accepting than I truly am. I am making a conscience effort to remind myself that everyone is going through something even if they look like they have it "all."
Another fire near me, (but not close enough to be alarming), and the Santa Ana winds are driving the ash & soot into the valley. Literally everything is black! You can barely see the mountains due to all the swirling ash! I must say that I am a little envious of the snow you guys are reporting! LOL! However, I remind myself that come Dec/Jan I will definitely NOT be envious! LOL!
Have a peaceful Hump Day y'all! &
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Skorpi, thank you for your service and this topic, and thanks to all who have shared, especially about the Golden Rule.
I try to follow that rule in all my affairs, but I now realize that I need to have a more realistic view of it. I used to think that if I treated others the way I would like to be treated -- that was a sort of guarantee, a quid-pro-quo -- that I would receive my desired treatment in return. It hasn't exactly worked that way.
I don't always get the kind, insightful, calm, positive, helpful response that I think matches what I have given. And that is because I cannot control other people, even with my most enlightened efforts. Still, I think taking the high road is the way to go. Others might not choose that road or might not be capable in this moment of taking it. And maybe that road does not go to the destination that someone else wants to go to. So I need to be aware that it is my choice, for me, for my destination, and others will make their own choices.
Thank you for your share. Your ESH was very powerful to me. I have come to realize that I too, lived my life believing that I would always get back what I "put out there." I have been sorely disappointed many, many times, and then I will revert to my "go-to" of "What's wrong with me?" Only now, when I am in the second half of my life, am I realizing that you just can't predict people... and that what I do really has no effect on another person. Reality, not Fantasy.
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Hope you make today a great day! 
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