The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The October 23 reading in Hope for Today is about "God as we understood Him." The author started out with a restrictive, one-true-religion and a judging God that was all about punishment. Coming to Al-Anon showed a whole new vision. People with differing beliefs were friendly to one another and didn't gossip or criticize. And I love this sentence -- "No one tried to change others by telling them what to think or how to feel." In this environment, the author was able to relax and gradually develop a Higher Power of their own understanding.
The author "fired" their original God and hired a new one ... and another phrase I love, this Higher Power "lives in me and in those around me." This higher power is accepting of me as I am, caring, wants the best for everyone, and can turn a tragedy into something positive.
Quote from As We Understood: "In Al-Anon we can come to understand the nature of a Power greater than ourselves in a personal, profound way and many of us have been amazed at the difference this understanding makes in our lives." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Something I really have come to love about Al-Anon: In my experience in the rooms, and here on MIP, when we touch on topics of God or Higher Power -- We are not just being polite or tolerant of other faiths or beliefs -- I think we in recovery actually do believe, and demonstrate through our actions, that each person has a right to their own beliefs about higher power or lack thereof, and one person's belief is not better than another's. What an amazing thing! These are the kind of rooms I want to be in.
When I came to Al-Anon in distress and despair about someone's alcoholism -- I'm not sure what I expected, but I sure wasn't expecting to find a whole group of people with such a respectful attitude about the whole range of beliefs around religion, a topic that in the outside world causes so much strife and even warfare. Whatever our beliefs, I think we are safe in Al-Anon because all of us are learning to just keep our side of the street clean, to let others have the dignity of their beliefs, that it is OK to change our minds about long-held beliefs, and that in the rooms we are safe from outside issues. We learn that in Al-Anon, to get into discussion of specific religions would be an obstacle to our success -- so we don't do it, and we get to focus on the similarities not the differences.
Since my personal definition of my higher power is "not me" ... and all of you here on MIP are not me ... you are part of my higher power, and I thank you for that.
-- Edited by Freetime on Thursday 22nd of October 2020 11:08:37 PM
I may never be a sponsor in my lifetime. I have mentored three people- and doing another now- but not Alanon related.
But of course the same skills apply...
...I I was asked I would suggest that steps 1,2,3 be done in a group. Great preparation... and rubbing off that deep isolation a lot of us feel. Inside of Alanon, and ACA, I express my HP as being unconditional love. Freely given and freely taken.
Around the edges of the topic we sometimes sense that there will be friction and strife. In generations past religion could actually cause a lot of strife in families.
But in Alanon, together we do manage to steer the topic into calm and tranquil waters.
I think, at times- talking through these topics, without fear or favour can be helpful.
Those of us who have been through this usually know the way- without avoiding the issues, as they arise.
I was raised to believe in a vengeful ,spiteful God that would punish me for any wrongdoing. Now though, I don't believe that way at all. I have had enough fear in my life already, my HP is loving, kind and caring.
Thanks FT for your service and for both wonderful shares. I feel so proud of being a member of alanon because of the ideas to accept and respect others, no matter how different from ourselves. And the aspect of being able to find a God of our understanding is so important as we all need help. Not to mention the teaching about not gossiping nor criticizing. I've said it before my belief that if the 12 Steps were a course given in high school or college, I believe the world would be a better place.
Thank you Freetime for your service to this group, and an insightful share!
"The reader fired their original God and hired a new one." Brilliant!!
That is how I look at my association with this. My religious upbringing didn't jive with my modern self, so I ditched it in high school... but the indoctrination was/is still there at times. Today I choose a Higher Power that not only works for me, but loves me unconditionally!
My mind was blown btw, when Lyne mentioned that the world would be a better place if the 12 Steps was a course given in high school... I tend to agree!!
FINALLY FRIDAY, y'all!!
Please stay safe and healthy, and make this a great day! (if it is already starting off badly, remember we can start our day "over" at any time! ODAT!)
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Happy Friday MIP family! Thank you FT for your service and the daily. Thank you all for your shares & ESH. I really, really relate to this reading and some of the shares. I too grew up with formal religion, and just didn't jive with it all...thus stepping away. When I got to recovery, I was not thrilled to see the word God in the steps, on the wall, etc. This was 'my issue' as nobody ever suggested the God mentioned in recovery was equal to the God of my youth/religion.
Recovery has always suggested to me that I embrace and explore this program in my own way and time frame. Through the ESH of others, I came to realize that there is more than one way to live, find solutions, embrace faith, trust, etc. It is in recovery that I really learned that my way is but one way, not the only/best way. My black/white thinking and views have become much more 'shades of gray' with practice, aging, wisdom and experience.
All that was strongly suggested was I consider a Higher Power, any Higher Power that was not me. My concept, relationship and spiritual journey, as with many other things, has evolved over time. I also consider the God of my understanding to be patient, tolerant, unconditional in love, acceptance and grace. I know now that if/when I make mistakes, I am still loved and encouraged to keep moving forward. I am able to see myself and others as perfectly imperfect, which is one of many gifts this program has given to me.
Love and light all - it's just darn right cold here today. I bundled up and headed off to do my volunteer gig at the golf course and was really grateful when they sent me home instead. Believe it or not, with rain falling and wind chills in the 30's, some people still showed up to golf....I've been staying warm, doing laundry, and just happily chilling at home. Happy weekend to all - make it a great one!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
great topic Freetime...
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