The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Todays reading is a reflection on the Serenity prayer. God grant me the wisdom to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. The writer acknowledges that when first coming to alanon it was impossible to tell the difference between things that were within his/her control to change and those that were not. Like so many of us, the writer described futilely trying to manage things out of his/her control. This type of flailing led to exhaustion, depression and feelings of failure.
This description resonated with me; I remember feeling that the world I was living in was chaotic so I did all I could to take control of it. It took a long time to realize there are some things that are just beyond what I can control. Now I am no longer living in the chaos of an alcoholic home, but am teaching in a public school in the middle of a global pandemic. I notice that I have reverted to trying to control things that are beyond me, and the serenity prayer is a comforting way to bring me back to doing what I can, accepting that there are some things I cannot change, and praying for the peace and wisdom to know the difference.
I came to this site and alanon about 7 1/2 years ago. I have noticed how the program has helped me have the strength I needed when making the decision to leave an alcoholic marriage, the loss of both of my parents and the fallout from those losses with my siblings, raising my kids as a single parent, and teaching hundreds of kids everyday, all of us masked and distant! The simplicity and beauty of the serenity prayer has helped me in every step, just as the strength of this program has helped- and that strength is in all of us together- we are not alone.
Happy and peaceful Sunday to you too Mary. Thank you for your service and the daily. I also arrived with a racing mind and felt so defeated that this simple, yet powerful prayer seemed silly and kind of maddening. For me, slowly but surely, as I listened to others share their ESH, I began to better understand what was mine and what was not mine. I suspect I reflect on this prayer a hundred times a day - it's my go to for so many daily things.
I am a very grateful member of Al-Anon also. I never, ever expected to find peace and serenity while having this disease actively all around me, and yet, most days, it's not just possible - it's my reality. I am so grateful with all the tools we're provided to be able to pause and redirect myself and/or my thoughts to a healthier place.
No golf today - it's colder here than it's been. I'm grateful for a quiet, peaceful relaxed Sunday in my small part of the world. Happy Sunday to all! (((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thank you Mary for your service and the Daily. Iamhere - I found the Serenity Prayer both powerful and maddening in it's simplicity at first too! Who knew that most things could be managed by following those wise words?
I specifically identify with the "feeling of failure." This was my constant companion the last year I was "in" my marriage, and the two years following the separation. I find that when I am dwelling on my (now) past failures, the Serenity Prayer is my touchstone... my reminder that not everything was under my control... and perhaps more importantly, I never should have believed it ever was!
Mary - I specifically want to take a moment to thank you for your service to our country as an instructor of growing minds. Regardless of political beliefs about this virus, anyone who has ever taught, or volunteered in their child's classroom (like me), knows that the classroom is like a veritable petri dish. Despite all safety precautions, you are at a higher risk than most, every day. My hope is that after all is said and done, our country finally puts a larger value on this profession! Please continue to take all precautions, and if you haven't already, consider wearing safety glasses (the kind with side shields), as virus transmission for those who are very careful is possible and is usually through the eyes. Also, don't wear your work shoes inside the house after your day, or wipe them with an alcohol cloth before you get in your car to go home ( I do both due to profession). I ask my HP for your (and your children's) continued good health, as well as the students you serve!
&
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Hi Mary
Thank you for your service.
I find the Serenity Prayer a calming tool as well as a way to organize my busy and sometimes scattered thoughts about what overwhelms me. It helps me, rather than to think of something as a monster in the closet/elephant in the room/insurmountable disaster, to break it down into the categories of what I can control and cant. That alone reduces the stress. It also reminds me I am not alone and HP will provide strength/wisdom. Thank for your ESH (and to all others) for always reminding me I am not alone. Hearing the experience of others and finding commonality helps me know I am on the right track.
Have a day full of peace.
hey Mary, THANK you for this daily and your share.....
Oh the good old Serenity prayer....I had a disagreement, I was kind, but there were "irreconcilable" differences between me and the room leader at the church fac2fac meetings..I told her I wished her well, but I made the decision to not come back...To remove me from the situation..I spoke my truth, kept the focus on me and left it at that......she did something to me that I had to really "pray away" the resentment...I felt it best for ME and the interest of the members who might be profiting from the meets, to just remove me...
like that song Kenny Rogers sung that I loved about the gambler "you gotta know when to hold them--know when to fold them--know when to walk away--know when to run" It was best for me to fold my cards and leave the table/room...No biggie...I have friends there with whom I can share over the phone, like last night I had two GREAT phone convos with my recovery mates 1 of whom is leaving as well..I did not encourage her to stay or go...I just said "do what is best for you"...
I prayed the Serenity Prayer...I cannot change her, but I CAN and DID change me in that I quietly told Pastor I would not be going back to the fac2fac groups for several reasons , no details, but I was removing me from the group..He wanted to know why and I just said, "Irreconcilable differences" and its for the best..He is my friend, but he did not press me for details..he was just happy that i will attend the testimonials and fellowship with the main body at pre-meeting services...
.I cannot control, change, another but I can change me and I did...I have all the support I need with phoning my recovery mates, and my community here and ACA...I have what I need...and if something is not working, step 10, what is my part, can this be repaired?? or is it best to just move on?? I realized that "the only thing I can change is me" sometimes just means removing me from a negative situation....
Realitu is a hard.9ne every day. A l9ng lim long rennovation and the pandemic. Now more bills.
The difference beimg now I.work.with it
I find what I need to do.
Of course none of us want yo live through s oandemic
The ability to be in reality is indeed s gift
I.hsd a hlrribke reality with tge qualifuer. Al anon helped me to.make it manageable
Another horrible reality with the former roommate. No more scorched earth for me. I am still on civil terns wutb the former roommmare. He lies all the time. Since I do not have to live with him his lies wash off my back. Lies seem to go along with alcoholism
Every day I get up and neet the challengers of the day. I have to adjust my planz
We are all under adjustment wuth yhe pandemic. No.change in sight. Lettimg ho has been a blessing
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Thanks for your service Mary...
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