The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's reading in C2C speaks of Al-Anon specifically. The author talks about as a newcomers many of us were surprised at the minimal rules of Al-Anon. Before recovery, we may have had a very strict sense of order in our lives -- the only thing that may have kept our ships afloat when living with the chaos of alcoholism/addiction. It gave us a sense of control. Naturally, seeing how successful and popular this program was/is, we assumed that it too would be a rigid program. Instead, as newcomers, we are told we are free to work the program at our own pace! We were/are free to ask questions without judgments, without ridicule. No one was in charge, yet everyone was in charge! The author further says as they continued to come to the rooms of Al-Anon, they are learning to trust that the group is guided by a Higher Power whose will is expressed in our group conscience.
Today's Reminder: If I take on service responsibilities in my group, it does not mean that I now run the show. Today I will remember that the ultimate authority is a Higher Power who works through all of us.
I love that we are "allowed" to work this program at our pace. I love knowing I can come to the rooms and feel understood and not shamed or blamed. As I worked through my program, I began to understand the Traditions and principles of this organization.
Grateful member today!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
I am of course very grateful tonl those who run the program. Now they do mot have to pay rent for the meeting rooms it nusr help. Nevertheless being in a virtual program certainly helps with 24 hour access
I am grateful for durection. I have atamina and tenacity now to work over 60 hours a week to get ny bills paid. I km grateful to be soley responble for my life.
Thank you PnP for your service and the daily. Thanks to all for your shares & ESH. I thought I wanted rigidity and structure when I arrived, but what I really wanted was the secret to making my A(s) change. That was part, a large part of my insanity. I thought there was a magic action, phrase, request, other that would be able to take us back to BD - Before Disease. What I know now is that the disease was always here, the seeds were planted before I knew and I was completely powerless to change the course of it in another.
I arrived with some knowledge about the philosophy and traditions of 12 Step recovery. I was very, very grateful that each member is encouraged to work recovery as it works best for them, at a pace that works for them, with a sponsor that works for them, etc. After the never-ending politics I endured in my career, I was grateful for the group conscience to lead us where we need to go. There will always be a person/two who can't let go of the 'control' desire, yet healthy groups are able to rise above that. I've seen unhealthy groups who could not, and they folded in our area simply because we have many choices.
I choose to do service work that does not require attendance at business meetings. With my aging parents, I am cautious about regular commitments I make that will affect others should I need to be of service to them. I also know that business meetings bring out the worst in me & others, so prefer to trust the group conscience and go with the flow. This is a great choice for me as I have always been one to step in, take charge, and then 'run the show' -- a change I desired to make practicing being a part of...
Happy Saturday MIP family - fall has officially arrived, so we golfed this afternoon when it was a little warmer. Enjoying a restful evening...loving every minute of it! (((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
PnP, thank you for your service. I find program to be a mix of a strict format to be followed in F2F meetings and including on zoom. And yes on the other hand I have freedom to attend as I wish, read or not, have a sponsor if I want, do steps or not, etc. So I see it as a closed environment with choices inside. It makes my participation very interesting as I take what I like and leave the rest.
BTW, Im still waiting for the magical secret so I can fix my A, LOL.
You know, Lyne... I found your description of the program more astute (for me)! I do believe it is a "closed environment with choices inside."
I tend to prefer online now to F2F meetings, not just b/c of COVID, but I found the rules very strict. Sometimes I hated meetings where the topic was fixed and "outside" sharing was frowned upon. Of course, now I know that not all meetings are the same... they are similar... but not the same. And all are subject to the Egos of those who "run" the meetings. I find this place to be the exception, 9 times out of 10!
Feeling pretty grateful today to be a part of something wonderful!
&
__________________
"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
When i first came i cme into the program I really bristled at the format, the literature. I also could not fathom all the focus on founders week and other occasions
Now I would really love to.go to Stepping stones
I.know now I am certainly not the most patient person in the world. I certainly can see how the program helps people to thrive
I was certainly the one to describe every sitiationn as toxic and every other oerson as patholgica.
Certainly they are to a certIn extent but I have to live in this world. I do not get the option of creating the soft cornered world of my creation
I.have to go out abd forge a way in life. I have tonpay bills and I cannot be complaining day and night that people tmdo not help.me.
Asking for help, depending on helo is a dangerous game it sets uo this cycle of helplesness that is a double bind
YES...freedom to work the program what works for me.....no cut in stone rules, BUT, I did see the imperative nature of the steps and slogans....i just looked...what were the winners doing??? The steps...the slogans...literature...meetings....sponsor at least untll they can just work with partners.....so yea, there ARE some things i saw that were imperative, but even then, it was at my OWN pace....no time clock ticking...No judgements on my being a bit slow on one issue....doing good on another....no rules about do I have to share at a meeting or can I just listen??? there are times, I just want to sit and listen...so yea, this , I found was not a race..not a competitive program where you get "bad marks" if you are slower to heal from one thing over another....
I was free to go at my own pace and tackle what was comfortable for me at that time....AND the steps 1, 2, 3...Before I found my HP whom I call God, I was wide open as to the "HP of my understanding" THAT was the dealer maker for me...I was not compelled to pick a particular HP at the time as I was Agnostic when I first arrived....the program was my HP at that time........
I am SO grateful for this program and now that I am not going to the church fac2fac meets anymore (i'm not nourished there) I get ALL I need....here and my ACA and my recovery mates sharing and also I have my recovery mates at church where we call each other and ESH each other....I GOT what I need in the way of support, ESH, validation and L O V E.......gotta love this awesome program
I have to.admit I am very curious how aome ic the program is managimg. After all #speaker# meetimgs and large scale conventions sre the backbone of the conmunity.
Lers not forgst the countsuwn metimgs that were a hige morale builder for people
While I.did not apreciate some of the rules of certain meetimgs the ti mb elime veing ine of them. Nevertheless in general in meetimgs people had to be civil. Civility is s pretty much stretched term in lune. There us lots of flaming certain grouos.
That is one ov the criciak drawbacks of online recovery
...Just a second thought. I think that personal shares are essential- and that groups should allow for these.
At a face to face meeting. We were discussing one the the 12 Concepts of Service. One member said that she didn't have a clue what anyone was talking about. Or, for that matter what she was talking about.
I thought to myself- that maybe a lawyer might be able to explain it.
My overall view is that the steps are for ourselves, the traditions are for our groups, and the Concepts of Service are mostly for people operating at conference level.
And, it is important for us that as people step up- they can take the teachings in their stride.
Having said that I did make Alanon Concept Four to my heart. I think is does say a lot.
"Participation is the key to harmony"
My learning on this concept was profound. I began by believing that group harmony was paramount- and that was my role as a member to ensure this.
A good goal, and very conducive to black and white thinking. "My way, or the doorway."
So what I learned over time- with heaps of ESH... ...was that personal emotional harmony was essential too.
That is had to begin with me!
Getting through the middle steps- there are a lot of subtleties. Obvious things- in hindsight.
I think individuals struggle with this- letting go...
and groups, naturally, struggle with it too!
We do need healthy well seasoned groups... with options and opportunities for members.
I do believe that this MIP group has these attributes!
& 
Hmmm... I always felt the the group rules I encountered were onerous. Restrictive.
...
...Just a second thought. I think that personal shares are essential- and that groups should allow for these.