The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's reading in One Day at a Time in Al-Anon speaks to the diversity of people that come into our program -- all kinds of wealth/poverty, education, personalities. It cautions members not to judge or patronize people for superficial reasons -- their clothing, manner of speech, etc.
Anyone who feels they are superior when they come into Al-Anon will quickly find it is a fellowship of equals. Spiritual insights that touch our heart often come from listening to people from whom we least expected to learn something.
Today's Reminder: I am in Al-Anon to help myself solve my problems, to overcome my shortcomings and to help others find serenity just as I am trying to find it. I will make no personal judgments or criticisms, but will humbly accept the good in everything I find in the fellowship.
Quote: "Who am I to judge God's children by their manner of speaking or by what they wear? I will listen for the help they an give me."
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Al-Anon has been humbling to my judgmental self. While I wouldn't think of judging someone by how much money they have, their job, or where they live, I had some prejudices about certain personalities. I remember thinking one member was really bossy, another member was too cheerful and overly enthusiastic, and a third member was too childlike. I didn't think I'd ever relate to or seek out those individuals for program help or anything else. When someone revealed that they were a double winner, my resentment of alcoholics really jumped out.
Well, I am glad I stuck around and kept listening. The "too bossy" one is now my service sponsor, the "cheerful" one is now my regular sponsor, and the "childlike" one has such a dedication to service and a compassion for newcomers that I now have the greatest respect for her. I was once given a great insight by a newcomer who had only been to about three meetings. And some of the dual members have become some of my favorite people.
I didn't think I needed the slogans "Keep an Open Mind" and "Listen and Learn" because I already had those boxes checked. Guess what? Obviously I had a lot to learn, and probably still do. And I might be really surprised who I learn it from.
I was a foundation member of my first group- not a starter, really in our dusty sheep town. But they built a huge dam down the river- and the wives of AA members, who formed a part of the construction crews made a group possible. It became a burgeoning group. I always focussed on the ending phrases: "You may not like all of us, but you will love us in a very special way; the same way we already love you." Have said this so many times- but right now I see the light of unconditional love in these words.
For me this is the bottom line. I see it today- in this group.
Thanks FT for your service and wonderful share. Overtime I have learned that if I am really listening at meetings, there is something to gain from everyone. I think Deepak Chopra said in one of his books, something like "I am above no one, and below no one." Another words, we are all the same, especially in our chosen road in alanon. I am proud to be a member of alanon.
Thank you FT for your service and the daily. BR (Before Recovery), it seems I was in a perpetual state of competing/comparing. There is no doubt that my observations were superficial and 'judgy'....I had not really given too much thought to 'how I was' until I truly embraced our program and figured out that nobody is put into my life by mistake. NOBODY!! Better yet, it's not my place to analyze the why, but just to embrace and respect all I encounter, seek to understand and learn.
Old habits die hard for me, so when I feel myself reverting back to that mindset of compete/compare, or feeling better than/less than another, I am very aware that I've departed from my center, and typically up my spiritual program game. I believe that when I am spiritually 'fit', I am at my best - the most serene, the most joyful, the most accepting, etc.
I will also suggest that my unconditional acceptance of those I encounter daily is not limited to program folks. I practice this in all my affairs. I am not thrilled when I encounter a rude person out and about, yet today, I can actually pause and seek to understand vs. judge/react. Again, my day goes much better when I am aligned spiritually and practicing unconditional acceptance, tolerance and love.
Happy Friday all - our weather has turned a bit colder, so no golf for me this morning. Not too sure what the afternoon will bring, just living in the moment right now. Love and light to all - make it a great day!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
WOW!!! FT, thanks for your service and YOUR part in the daily
boy can I relate....with me, i never judged anyone, either by their socio economic status, MY big thing was uglyness/rude people....Insulting people, condescending people...my fangs would come out and I would return their ugly with ugly...then I realized that they are free to be what they want to be and its MY job, not to judge (I have my own step 4 not so good traits to deal with) but to just detach from them, distance myself from them, but I would still read their posts if on line or listen to them in the meets, because EVERYONE, distasteful to me or not has something to TEACH...I don't have to be "in their face buddies" to learn from them....
I am much quicker about letting go, letting their HP teach them as MY HP is teaching me...the ole we are students and teachers is so true to me...and like you, folks I would normally reject in the old days of my being so judgemental, SOME of them are good recovery mates with me.....I mean I actually LIKE them , and I accept them with their flaws as they accept me with my flaws
thanks so much for your service.....LOVED your share!!!!
Thanks Freetime, for your service to us. 
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