The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Upon reflection, today's author admitted that responding to a negative situation with raised voice and angry words did not help, and did not lead to good feelings after.
Using the AlAnon slogan Easy Does It, however, helped maintain calm thoughts that in turn, allowed a calm response and action.
Reminder: On the road back to sanity, Easy Does It is one of several slogans that can help curb the tendency to respond irrationally, in anger to a challenging situation. ----------------------------- It is easy at times for me to get caught up in the moment, carried away with my own frustrations or thoughts of how things 'should be'. I can become unpleasant if I try to take over the situation and direct it to my liking.
This is a slogan that has admittedly not been in heavy rotation in my recovery and should be. I need to remember that I can contribute calmness to a situation that will allow an opportunity for others to have the dignity of choice and formation of unaffected thoughts and response.
Grateful for the reminders and wisdom of the program
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Paul
"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives." - Paths to Recovery
Thanks Paul for your service and share. I love this slogan, and it reminds me to take it easy in life, in as many situations as I am able to. Each morning a program friend from my F2F start out our day with a text to each other, and I often wish her an Easy Does It Day! Be aware I am certainly not able to be calm all the time, but I sure do try! Progress not perfection....
Lyne - I love that idea of reaching out to someone first thing in the morning with a text!
Recently something happened in a discussion with my son. Without boring you all with details, it was about the death of one of my aquarium fish. He wanted to know how someone as loving and caring about animals as I am was so blase about this death. I have to admit, his question stung me, b/c it was obvious I was "less than" in his eyes. One of the reasonings I gave him was that I am trying very hard to stop constantly beating myself up, I am choosing to ask, "Can I change this?" if the answer is no, then I am trying to be a little more Easy on myself. I am through with the constant negative talk and blaming/shaming myself! I also told him that people grieve differently. And as a mom, you try and leave the sorrow for times when you are alone, so that your mood doesn't bring down the family. I guess that was eye-opening for him... he never realized this. There were other reasons too, but they don't relate to the share, so I will leave them out. Later on, he came to me and we discussed his reaction further. I think he understood this Easy Does It approach.
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Thank you Paul for your service and the daily. Thanks to all for your shares & ESH. I also start my day with texting to a couple of groups. One was pre-Covid, the others are new, since Covid. Easy Does It, like so many other slogans for me, first appeared as silly and impossible. My mind raced, my A(s) and the disease kept me in a perpetual state of reacting combined with anxiety and shallow breathing, as I crazily projected the next shoe to drop and the potential outcomes.
As I reflect on me before recovery, I (unintentionally) made so many situations more difficult and complicated through projection and 'right-fighting'. It really never occurred to me to not argue with an A, nor to just walk away and choose quiet, peace, calm over chaos, drama, insanity.
Today, when I hear Easy Does It, I am almost instantly reminded that my biggest concern and my primary concern should be for ME. So often, I can best serve myself and avoid crazy, chaotic insanity by just choosing a simple approach to whatever I am faced with.
I called to check on my parents, and my father has passed the concerned about mother's drinking and now is in anger. They are 85, been married since 21, and he's realizing she's not going to change, and he's tired of cleaning up after her (she falls, and has many 'accidents') - blood and other. I can share that my father opening up about his pain, anger, etc. because of this disease is not something I ever expected - he's stoic, strong and private...I listened for a long while and then got to share a little bit about our program and what he can do - self-care, have a bag packed, etc.
For the first time ever, I shared just bits and pieces of what it was like 'here' when all 3 of mine were active. I can say that I am sad for them both, frustrated that this disease never sleeps and exhausted from trying to be of service without any judgement, advice, etc. Easy Does It reminds me that I can support both of them, I can pray for them and I can hope for better days.
My heart hurts for them both. Yet, I can sit here tonight, watch a TV show, share with you all and Let Go & Let God just for today. I also made plans to golf tomorrow and Thursday so I am certain to minimize my worry and practice some self-care. Our lovely late summer temperatures might be slipping away shortly - it's been awesome to have spring/summer type weather into October!! Today, I got to golf with gal pals from last year and we had a great time. I haven't gotten to see them all year as we all split up our country club memberships after our club went through a huge restructure. It was a fun, lovely day.
Love and light MIP family - find and keep your joy!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Certainly in a pandemic it is easy to get in a place that feels overwhelming. In my case i generally respomd in two ways. Either I shut down and freeze or I go into victim mode.
Both are for me an absolute disaster
In the last recession I responded by goimg back and fortb between either over eeacting or under reactimg.
Easy does it is critical for me. I have more bils to pay (another large bill arrived today). Keeping an even keel is so essential. Needless to say I am also one who.mahes ny life more difficult unintentionally.
I am also someone who can over identify with others. Their victimixation merges with my own
So therefore laser sharp focusing on what Inneed to do today to move to another place is so so crucial
In a pandemic it is easy to.stay in crisis mode.
In a pandemic it would be nstiral (certainly for someone like me) to go into victmization
Every set back will be filled with #poor me# .
That attotide does not helo me to move forward
I have to keep looking forward. I was hopimg to cut back on work hours now I will have to go back to working longer. I.will also have to find ways to be more frugal
Without #easy does it# I would certainly in a boat without an oar.
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