The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am sending my mom a good send off on Friday! She would be so proud & pleased w her children. She would be pleased w the love & joy she found on this earth. Her heart would be moved by the singing & the moments shared by family & friends. She was & will always be my loving mother & friend. And for that I am grateful.
Lovely share Kathleen - prayers and positive thoughts continue for you all your family. (((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Make sure to give yourself a little extra TLC this week while you are taking care of what sounds like a wonderful tribute!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
What s phenomenal gift to.come to.peace with your motherr. I am still workimg in layers of tha implications of growing up.in that family
My mother died as ahe lived in contentious relationships, in fear, isolated, alone and craving in the same pattern she lived where ever she was
In.reality her life was more comfortable than it had been for decades. Nevertheless my mother created chaos wherever sge was. That chaos was all encompassimg and of course absoluteky overwhelming. i was as iverwhekmed as an adult as I was as a child. Her life was impossible to navigat. No wonder I.ended up.with addicts like the quakifier who were consumed with self destruction. I knew that territiry like the back of ny hand.
I know my mother was somehow content with what she had through her last years. The funeral my sisters
s made for her was something she would hace wanted.
At the end of her life my mother's sense of entiltlement was incredibly grandiose. Therefore I was use ti people who demanded everything and gave nothing
However for me despite years of therapy, desoite thankfully being in al.anon, by the time she died I was still wanting her to be something she never was. That craving and deprivation is what led me to be having relationships with alcholics over abd over. I certainly had nowhere near acceotance because her behavior was so incredibly abusive even as a dying woman. . I.do not even have acceptancs today because of course reality is s tough place to be and i do not want to hang out there even today. I.share that into intolerance with the alcoholics.
Therefore the fact that you are able to acceot your mothet for who.she was as a dying woman is miraculous. I can trace back so many of ky destructive patterns particularly in relationship to my mother's complete inability to provide anythjng remotely nuturing to me on.any occasion
My mother's expectations were immense because she was never able to negotiate the chaos she lived and died in
I dream of a day when I.can havs the peace and acceptance you have.
