The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The author of today's share did not want to admit defeat. That is how they viewed powerlessness -- losing the battle and submitting to the enemy. In Al-Anon, they learned that surrender does not mean submission, it means to stop fighting reality and to stop doing the higher power's job. Surrender means to recognize that the world is in good hands, and therefore it is not a humiliation when we admit we are not in control.
Today's Reminder: Today I can be grateful that the earth will continue to revolve without any help from me. I am free to live my own life, safe in the knowledge that a Higher Power is taking care of the world, my loved ones, and myself.
Quote from One Day At a Time in Al-Anon: "The First Step prepares us for a new life, which we can achieve only by letting go of what we cannot control, and by understanding, one day at a time, the monumental task of setting our world in order through a change in our own thinking."
I did not like hearing the word "surrender" when I came into Al-Anon. To me, it conjured up pictures of an army losing the battle, waving a white flag, and being taken prisoner by the enemy. I already felt like a prisoner, and I did not want any more of that.
And yet, at the same time, I somehow found the word comforting. I did not understand why, until I learned more about my options -- particularly that changing my attitude could aid my recovery. I came to find the word "surrender" a mantra that brought me peace. It meant giving my problems over to someone who actually could do something about them, and that was not me. Giving up the fight against someone else's drinking did not put me in prison -- it made me free.
Thank you FT for your service and great share. I did not understand so many parts of program when I first came in. Just the idea of focusing on myself seemed ridiculous. After all, I was not the one drinking and driving.
But of course, over time, I learned to surrender up what I cannot control. And with that step, great relief set in. I also have a mantra that has arisen since my program: FREEDOM. I have been set free from fretting and wishing and living in non-reality. It hasn't been easy and some days still are not. But overall, I'm in much better shape mentally than ever before. And that's why I keep coming back....
Thank you FT for your service and the daily. Thank you both for your shares and ESH. I also arrived not really 'getting it'. My mind suggested several suggestions in Al-Anon aligned with 'losing' the 'good fight'. I had to literally change the way I view, think, react/respond, absorb and process most of life's events, including people, places and things.
Surrender for me today has a completely different meaning and that has proven to be a great thing. Only when I figured out that my serenity was directly tied to my ability to stop fighting everything and everyone did I learn what acceptance really means. I really, really like the thought of a simple choice - would I rather be right or would I rather be happy? Before, I would have leaned towards being right, no matter the cost to self & others. Today, I chose happy all the time. I am grateful for our program, our tools and the lovely ability to judge pause and pray before I proceed....this alone has saved me more times than I can count.
Happy Friday MIP family - break day from golf - tweaked my back a little yesterday, so resting and doing some self-care.
Make it a great day all.
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thank you FT for the daily, and Lyne and IaH for your shares. I, too, felt that surrender was a bad thing at first. I thought it meant that I'd have to just give up on my hopes and dreams and just go along with the alcoholic insanity that I had been battling for years. What I've found is that the insanity remains, but I can surrender to the fact that I can do nothing about it, and go about my day. Accepting that my wife isn't capable of partnership or support has been a bit harder - especially as we have been stuck in the house together since March, but as I read in another post this morning, there isn't any point being angry at the hardware store because they don't happen to have bread in stock.
I'm looking forward to a nice weekend this weekend, the weather should be great, and I can start prepping the garden for winter. I hope you make today a great day!
__________________
Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
