The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's reading is about gratitude, attitude and miracles in recovery. The writer suggests that our current lives are miracles. So many of us came to Al-Anon feeling alone and hopeless, and discover that no situation is really hopeless...we find others who have been through the pain of coping with a loved one's alcoholism, they too had been frustrated, angry, disappointed yet learned to live serenely and joyfully.
We discover with time that the gift of recovery is ours for the taking and includes support and tools that lead to serenity. Just as we found Al-Anon when needed, we will continue to be transformed through miracles, all around us, one day at a time.
Recovery allows us to see the many miracles that touch our lives. An attitude of gratitude goes a long, long way in getting us to a serene, joyful life where we focus on ourselves yet have empathy and grace for the diseased. We learn how to be of service without losing ourselves, about boundaries, detaching, and unconditional acceptance and love.
The reminder says it all for me - When I take time for gratitude, I perceive a better world. Today I will appreciate the miracles all around me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I did arrive at the doors of Al-Anon very broken, sad and hopeless. I was anxious, worried, full of fear and truly did not see a way to any level of 'normal' - serenity seemed well beyond reach. I came hoping to find the secret answers to make this disease disappear in others, and stayed finding the tools and format FOR ME to change ME, still lacking an ounce of serenity or hope. Change came slowly for me, yet did arrive and practicing what was suggested showed me the true path to unconditional acceptance and love is through gratitude. Little things, big things - makes no difference - when I pause long enough to realize and remember that I am perfectly imperfect with a HP who loves me and wants the best for me, I am better tooled to respond in all matters of life and love in a healthier way.
33 years ago yesterday, I landed in a court ordered substance abuse center. I did not want to be there, fought everyone and everything and was the poster child for drunk, defiant queen of denial. I was in trouble with the law and my length of stay was completely up to the judge. I often say I arrived at AA via a nudge from a judge.
I stayed defiant until it no longer worked for me. I proudly denied having a substance abuse problem until that no longer worked for me. I still had no desire to get/stay sober, yet I did want to get/stay out of trouble/jail.
I can't tell you why I never relapsed. I can't show anyone else the path to continuous sobriety. I can share that when I stopped fighting everything and everyone and just became willing to try different ways of living, responding, coping and interacting, life got better. These 2 recovery programs have saved my life, but more importantly have given me a life I never knew was possible. I do see the miracles each/every day. I have hope even in the darkest of times and I know that no matter what's going on around me, I am not alone. I really do feel as if I have a HP who loves me and keeps me company.
Happy Thursday all - started this special day for me at the golf course and I have tweaked my back (again). I am now taking it easy and giving it a well-deserved break. Make it the best day possible all - (((Hugs)))!!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I was reaxing one of my meditatiiin teachers blogs yesterday. He suggesred to stop making a case. Of course making a case for me seemed natural. Feeling sorry for nyself was part and parcel of living with N akcoholic. Making a list of all the ways he made my life extremely difficult was another.
Of course I was not preoared to look.at the ways i made my own life extremely difficult. After all I akways was a model citizen
Lucky for me I am in al anon and have the opportunity to look at my part. Instead of being a victim, I can make changes.
Dropping the case making is one of them
Maresie
David - congratulations on your 38 years of sobriety. I wasn't aware you were also a double winner!!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
IAH, thanks so much for your service and powerful, honest share. You know both sides of the coin, and in a way, thats been a tremendous learning experience.
I also know the despair that many describe when entering these rooms. I also have a life I never thought possible, even with the ups and downs. Its true that attitude is everythingI have a choice of focusing on everything thats wrong, or everything thats right. I can set up my day in either mode. It does take persistent practice but it is possible to see gratitudes and blessings even in the midst of chaos. My dogs bring warmth to my heart all throughout the day. They are definitely a gift from God. And I always remind myself, progress not perfection.
You don't know the paths? I find that hard to accept as I have been recipient of the ESH here for a long time and that is including all of the ESH from both programs for a longer time. You give it away and then you let go which for me is how this is done. I came here this morning on the 11th looking for a bit of air a bit of space to keep me closer to peace of mind and serenity specifically. I am not married to an alcoholic any longer but am still attached to the disease. "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. Where do I find those tools and the hope that change will be had for me? Here and from whom can I get the solutions? Here from the fellowship including my Sister from another mother.
I don't have an easy solution. I have hope and gratitude. I can spend a whole lot of time beating myself up with the blame of why have I done this so many times with so many sick people and keep coming back because in between I have experienced the gratitude and joy I have looked for?
I was feeling additionally angry because my football team was screwing up and then came here and then while I was here they started winning. I don't get it...I have it already.
Love you Sis for the recovery you bring and are. (((hugs)))
"Perfectly Imperfect" I say that now to my critical parent who still tries to lie to me telling me I am a stupid broad because I did not pay attention and misplaced something or i bumped my arm on something....I take her to the "court of truth" I demand she proves to me that I am a stupid broad, which, I am NOT
but yea, I am realizing that I have to take the risk of ACTION to change...to bring more good in my life adn it starts with my Higher Power and GRATITUDE....even when i am feeling broken, beaten down, I MAKE me thank God for something...or if I am needing something/wanting something that I think is reasonable, I THANK him for prayer pending...all of this makes me realize that I do have a loving, caring Higher Power who is probably "fine tuning" me for my next better life here on earth.....he is readying me for something to have prompted me to take on all these life style changes...exercise..yoga..meditation...eliminating stressors that are not my problem, making me slow down and pay attention...doing my "trigger" RX's to bring me back to regulation mode.....i know HP is giving me the strength because a FEW times, I felt like saying that I am hopeless, too damaged to fix so whats the use...but i keep on keeping on because of the 1st 3 steps.....and the rest of the program......