The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My mom passed away this morning. She is now finally at peace. She lived a very hard life. She was my strength at times & was even my weakness. I loved her the hardest but also very gentle. I have peace knowing that I got to say goodbye remotely. I have so many loved who are here for me. To all of you: thanks for being there on my journey w my mom. More at another time.
(((((hugs))))) Glad she is at peace, and you are surrounded by love.
__________________
Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
(((Kathleen))) - may the God of your understanding give you grace to heal as you mourn. May your mama rest in peace. So, so sorry for your loss.
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Losing your parent - no matter at what age - is so difficult. Your mother was your very first support system in this world. As you said, she is now at peace, surrounded by those who went before and love her. My condolences,
__________________
"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
I am sorry for your loss. My parents caused me tremendous loss, abuse and neglect. I distanced myself from them for decades. For one decade I did not even speak to them.
When my mother died anither trauma followed regadding her will.
Still more unfortunately for me I was with the qualifier whwn ny mother died. He resented my grief. He deeply resented my a ioity to confront my family because of course he was completely incapable of dealing with his.
Therefore I could not have been in a more.unsupoort8live environment. I am so glad you have created a second family for yourself in al anon. That is an incredible acc9molishment
My mother's death brought a lot of turmoil for me and a lot of rage and grief resurfaced. My mother failed me both as a child and then as an.adult. i felt very bitter and angry but I had not worked through much of my anger at her. Needless to say all my issues with my sblings surfaced as well. In fact I stopped all contact with my younger sister at that time. I am relieved to no longer be trying ti go to that well. I understand why ny family maintained their denial into adukthood. Back then, after my mother's death I was still trying to challenge it. Needless to say I could not have lived in a more hostile environment with the qualifier. When i received the news my mother died in the middle of the night the qualifier said and.did absolutely nothing. That about sums uo our relationship because he gave so little unless it was to his advantage. Then, of course, he demanded everything in exchange for that privilege..
I am so glad you have support, care, clarity and peace.
I am also glad you are well aware you are loved and cared for
I am indeed in awe of your recovery and ability to transcend such an incredible loss.
Thank you for being part of this group to shine the way ror the rest of us.
Maresie
It has been 3 days since her death. So many things have been so busy & I am so blessed to have experienced the love & compassion from all my different families. Lots of things. So much to say. Now goes the next steps. We are having a lovely service. We are going to laugh & cry. But most of all we are going to celebrate the life of the one who carried me in her womb & who is now at peace w no pain.
Lovely outlook Kathleen - prayers continue for you and yours...thanks for checking in.
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Kathleen. It is indeed a tesramont to your recovery thst you are able to mark the death of your mother
My sisters are completely incapable of having even a basic conversation about my mother's mental illness (addictions she had many) as well as the abject chaos she lived in throughout her life. Growing up with a mother like that had extraordinary repercussions for me throughout my life.
Unravelling those issues has taken me decades of therapy, 12 step programs as well.as bibliotherapy.
Therefore given the issues you have had with your mother your capacity to offer forgveness at thid time is truly an act of grace.
Maresie
... Much love and hugs, Kath... take care... 
...