The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Step Three -- the author of today's page takes it over and over again, but usually waits until a problem is overwhelming before turning it over to the care of a Higher Power. The author is working on placing their entire will and life into their Higher Power's hands willingly, no matter what, writing "... my way has seldom worked in the past. It's only when I let go and trust ... in the direction of my Higher Power's choosing, that my life becomes fulfilling."
Today's reminder includes: I can hold onto my will until the situation becomes so painful that I am forced to submit, or I can put my energy whnere it can do me some good right now, and surrender to my Higher Power's care.
Quote from Martin Luther: "I have held many things in my hands, and I have lost them all; but whatever I have placed in God's hands, that I still possess."
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Step Three was one that I didn't take to at first; it didn't sound like something I could accept (along with Steps 4, 9, 11 -- I was worried about those too). Turn my will and my life over? Why would I do that? I could not trust anyone but myself, to take care of me. But I had reached the limit of being able to take care of me, all by myself.
First, the miracles happened beyond my understanding -- powers greater than myself (Al-Anon people, my friends, even my children) stepped in and kept me afloat when I could not even see that it was possible. They kept me afloat until I could reach the stable shore of a new land -- and they are still with me here. I am physically in the same place as when I first came to Al-Anon, but my mind and spirit are in a brave new world.
Not too long ago, I revisited Step Three and noticed what for me is the magic word in it -- CARE. I am turning my will and my life (or at least parts of it) over to someone or something that actually cares about me and that has powers I don't currently possess.. That is why I can trust, and why I can now take this step.
It is still my first instinct not to ask for help, to do it all by myself -- but I am learning to ask for and to accept the care of powers greater than me.
Thank you Freetime for your service and the daily. Thanks to all above for your ESH & shares. I literally panicked when I first saw Step 3...others had to explain to me that I was at Step 1 and the steps are intended to be worked in order. However, each meeting I attended with the Steps read caused me a bit of anxiety as I felt and believed deep down that the God of my youth had left me to rot and wasn't there/here for me.
As time in recovery helped clear the fog of my brain, I began to see how absolutely lovely the concept of a HP was in recovery. I didn't have to believe in anything or anyone other than someone/something greater than I. I settled on Good Orderly Direction for a long while as it helped me to just do the next right thing, one moment or one day at a time. This concept also made it much easier for me to DECIDE to try and turn my will/life over...
Over the years, I've come to believe very differently. My HP, whom I do call God only because it's easy to do so, is a construct of the teachings of my youth combined with a bit more love, flexibility, grace and forgiveness. I have said the 3rd step prayer every day for many, many years - faking it in the beginning and feeling/trusting it today. I still marvel at the small and large miracles I've been witness to because of recovery and try to live each day as simply as possible - with grace and humility. I love that recovery softened me, giving me the ability to trust in a power greater than I and helped me realize that being humble (teachable) is an awesome gift.
I accept I am a perfectly imperfect human who is designed to make mistakes. I used to beat myself up/down when I made mistakes and today, I just own them, make amends and try to do better. I am and will always be a work in progress.
Happy Friday MIP family - hope you had a great day and plan to enjoy your weekend! Love and light to all...
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Being out of control is the norm if you live with an alcoholic
This year has become a step three for me. The step three being so much is out of my control.
I am grateful to be riding the wave rather than drown in it. Earlier this year I was drownimg, displaced, ill and ridderless. Being without my home was a huge unmooring
Coming back to step three here I am finally getting to a place where I say I have to operare from a position of strength. Constant reactivity is not strength. It may for me feel strong because I am full of adrenaline. However my.decisions in reactivity are not made from a grounded self
Maresie
Thank you FT for your service and for all the interesting shares. Like several of you have said, I had no intention of turning my will over to anybody or anything. My life had been nothing but pain and misery. I didn't have my spiritual journey begin until I hit 40. I was lost and hopeless.
Ha, but now, things have changed with my practice of program. Along with my morning prayers daily, I turn my will and my life over to the care of God because I NEED to! I need all the help I can get. And I'm not ashamed to admit this. I happily accept any help my HP can give me.
Good Morning Family and thank you for your comforting shares and continuing experience, strength and hope. You are family and I get to be member.
I didn't know and didn't know that I didn't know what if anything was available to help me find peace of mind and serenity when I first decided to stop fighting change and help from others I didn't know or understand. Today, again, I respond to family and your ESH.
A different way of listening to different messages and messengers and behaving in a way that allowed me be still and quiet and patient. Change!! when I was so resistant and oppositional defiant. I had all the character defects with their tools to keep away from the process of change which I needed yet didn't know that I wanted it. The last word of the 3rd step became daily study for me and still is so important to my daily life. I forget the meaning of it and the practices when my ego gets shaken.
Sanity...that's it and Thank You for all family members who have readily and willingly shared their Understanding, Experiences, Strengths and Hopes and definitions of it with me so I can best stay in direction. "Sanity...A continuous and orderly process of thought and behavior". Yes I was insane when I first reached the doors of Al-Anon and at times will relapse into when I forget the other important steps.
I lapse back into sickness when I insert those three little letters "dis" before "orderly". God how many family members have been here for me, helping me return to position and how many opportunities will I have with my Higher Power to maintain process. Thank you HP for every opportunity you allow me to exercise. No I don't like the thought or feelings of the insanity and I do love the consequences of the successful step.
I will check back in again shortly as this is a most important change step for me today.
Freetime, thanks so much for your share and your service....BOY could I relate to YOUR part of the daily, sounded just like me.....TRUST....step 3 was as scary for me as it got and I did NOT embrace that step at all for a long time....I still have trust issues, but I am now willing to trust...some days i can only say I am willing to be willing to trust my life to the , as you said, CARE of something higher than me...
I struggled with the HP thing forever...I was agnostic for a long time..doubted everything...questioned the concept of an HP....but I do, now, finally, know that there IS someone waaaay more powerful than me and he is all about LOVE and the goodness of the universe.....its still hard to work step 3 because all my life, I only h ad me , myself and I to trust and i could hardly trust me, either with all the screwups I did...but all I trusted was ME and I see how THAT worked, NOT!!!! so at first I was in so much pain, I had to "step 3" an issue or a person, etc and it WORKED...slowly I began to see that the more I cast my burdens, the lighter my life was...give over the power to the HP and I end up with more power.....go figure!!! when trust is destroyed at such an early age as mine was, it is nearly impossible to 100% completely, no reservations, TRUST, but I am willing
I don't trust Luther, or nobody else, to say the right thing. Not really.
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