The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
To be honest, I got stuck in a bad place for a few weeks. I have had multiple stressors, none life-threatening, but I couldnt overcome my defeatist mind set. This hasnt happened to me in several years. Usually my tools kick right in and Im back on track. I have focused hard especially on acceptance of the things I cannot change, and how important is it. Is a washing machine really important on the scale of life? LOL. Now I can laugh at myself. Another thing I did which I believe is helpful is that since Betty died, I not only have been without a sponsor, but I have been reluctant to try a new person. I realized it might be very uplifting to make a new connection, and I did. Program does work, and I see for myself, sometimes it might take longer than others. Progress not perfection, ODAT.
Thanks for sharing, Lyne! Progress, not perfection. (But I hear you on the washing machine! OR the Drier - I've been at wits end with fixing my drier more than once, and it always seems nearly insurmountable at the time!)
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
Betty's death was an enormous shock to.so many.of us.
I am sure that would upset anyone
I.can go into the oity party myself
I have been working on s debt. Every day there is one more obstacle.
In addition there is not much sign of restrictions regarding this viris lifting
I have given up thinking it is going to get better this year.
It takes immense courage to step up and ask for a sponsor. I.recently.acquired a new therapist. He is helping some but on some levels he is not helping much. At the beginning of our relationship he said the best strategy was to try to survive this pandemic. I think I will go with that one.
I miss Betty's presence a great deal. I have not met many people in my life who are as supportive and helpful as she was vonsistently. Knowing someone like Betty, even for a short time is a real inspiration for the hard times we are all going through
Maresie
(((Lyne))) - I can relate. I don't exactly know why, but for me, it's the 'little things' - washing machine or at my home, my dysfunctional laptop keyboard and a phantom garage door opening that get my mind 'started' down the road to self-pity. I too can usually snap back with our tools, but there are moments when it's just not enough. I have to write about it, talk about it, pray about it and even curse about it at times.
I know of nobody that believes 2020 has been a grand year. For those of us in the USA, we have the added nuance of the election cycle. I am so, so, so tired of seeing campaign commercials and signs - they're beyond annoying me. So - you are not alone - it's a tough year for us all, and there's just been so many/much loss. We lost Betty, and we've lost so much more just because of the pandemic - our freedoms to go/do, our meetings, etc. I just have been making sure I remind myself each morning to try and have a bit more acceptance and patience because of the trying times we are trying to manage through.
I think, if it might help, you are perfectly OK to kick the washing machine or at least yell at it....I have certainly yelled at my laptop and my garage door, and because I've been working on responding vs. reacting towards people, I have to share it felt kinda good to react instead!!
Be gentle with yourself and know it's OK to react once in a while!! We are human, perfectly imperfect.
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
