Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene

Lyne · ~*Service Worker*~

C2C, 9/21

mamalioness · ~*Service Worker*~

Thank you Lyne for your service

change still scares me, but I don't want chaos...peace at any price...I am done with the chaos and drama life i used to live...i want my quiet, and tho i think i handle change better, it sill scares me a bit...some change i just do not like, but i have to accept that which i cannot change, and ask for peace to accept it, and courage to change what i can..(Serenity prayer) some changes have been really good for me...some bad......i guess its my perception that determines just how i am going to feel and respond.....trusting HP helps with the bad looking changes...that is time i do a big step 3

Maresie888 · ~*Service Worker*~

Thank you Lynne for your service I appreciate the opportinity to work on my.program daily. Change seemed impossible to me when I lived with the qualifier. I should say in spite of the qualifier. The chaos the qualifier caused was unrelentingva daily crisis was the absolute norm. The people he invited into our lives were wholly destructive and divisive. He was immutable in his resolute demand that their needs always superseded mine. I have my own habit of inviting people into my life who are divisive, chaotic and destructive. I then slip into a stare of paralysis and fear change. I was paralysed with rage grief and fear. Meantime the chaos they (the qualifier and his army of friends) are creating and my own over reaction to their chaos was a punishing reality. There was not one moment of peace ever. Al anon helped me to fashion some respite for myself. Being in al anon has made me be able to take stock, inventory and look at my own part in the choices I make. The irony is that I am afraid of change while I openly invite and actively tolerate chaos and disruption into my life. Being aware of limits and boundaries has been so enriching for me. Being able to hold onto those boundaries is essential. Having limits is a revelation. Of course I am still chronically exhausted. chronically fearful and chronically insecure Nevertheless now when I.encounter an individual who is divisive and destructive I can at least get out of their way and stay there. I am no longer #stuck# in places of no return. Change is something I am working on in therapy. What will be my next move, how will I negotiate it ? Of course the best laid plans have obstacles. I managed to save some money, squirrel away a small sum that would give me opportunities, better choices. Unfortunately a large bill came along unexpectedly and swallowed up every bit of it. Now I have to renegotiate my plans. I.am resolute they will not evaporate How wise al anon is to pin point with such accuracy the terrible repercussions of alcoholism. How compassionate and tenderly sensitive to find ways to negotiate that paralysis that floored me I am so grateful to be in al anon to be at the point of negotiatimg obstacles rather than drowning in them. I can believe in hope and look forward rather than feel defeated and abandoned

Iamhere · ~*Service Worker*~

Happy Monday MIP! Thank you Lyne for your service and the daily. Thank you all for your shares & ESH. I can say that I was one who did not do well with change - I suppose in my (crazy) brain, change = bad = fear = chaos....or something similar. It never really dawned on me, perhaps because of the disease that change might be/could be good! It took Al-Anon recovery, a good sponsor, some step work and daily practice of what's suggested for me to realize my attitude is the primary catalyst for how I handle life....I can do life on life's terms or I can try to impose my will/wants - this latter doesn't seem to end well, yet I still at times lean that way until I catch myself.

I do better today with change, even when I don't want it or like it. If my attitude and outlook are aligned in a healthy way, I approach change as an opportunity to grow, change and learn. If my attitude or outlook are 'in need', I can pause long enough to pray and retool myself to handle the change. As change seems to be constant, I am forever a fan of, "When in doubt, don't..." This, for me, just reminds me that I can take as much time as I need to prepare for whatever life is bringing my way.

I've been to the golf course and we're having more extremely lovely weather. I almost feel guilty because there are raging fires in the West and horrid storms/hurricanes in the East. I will take this 'gift' as it comes though and send prayers for any affected by the coastal conditions. Love and light all - make it a great day!

Maresie888 · ~*Service Worker*~

I am grateful for the fact that I do not live in an area which has had to evacuate. I am also grateful that whatever medical problems I have are treatable i have had many friends die from cancer Yet I am indeed afraid of change. I am afraid of the recession comimg down the road. I did not fare well in the last one I am also afraid that work will dry up. I am also aware that I put savings away and they got quickly eaten up by this bill I thought I was all set on a certain path and now I have to clear this debt I was in debt during the last recession. I could not get out from under it. I have to be careful not to go down that road again Maresie

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.

Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene