The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Todays reading is a description of the reason we come together in Alanon. The writer describes feeling different when he/she began attending meetings. It is difficult for the writer to see any similarity between him-her/self and others in the meetings. Although there was a compulsion to keep attending meetings, the writer describes squirming through them, knowing more help was needed but afraid to ask for it. Ultimately the writer expressed the feeling of isolation and need for a sponsor and was given support by everyone in the meeting; the writer could feel that despite any differences they might have, he/she could feel the singular purpose of coming together in support of one another who have alcoholic family or friends.
When I came to alanon I didnt feel that the differences between myself and others were so glaring; what I noticed were all of the similarities between us. The experience of loving and/or living with a family member or friend in active alcoholism is the same regardless of specific circumstances. I could listen to the story of someone much older or younger than I, someone married much longer or never married, and the feelings under all of it were the same- isolation, loneliness, fear, anger. The strength and support in knowing that we are not alone is invaluable. For me, realizing that the situation I was living with was not unique was comforting and I gleaned strength from that.
As the quote from the Forum describes- we can simultaneously celebrate our differences and be mindful of all we have in common.
Thank you Mary for your service and the daily. Thank you and David for your ESH & shares. When I first came, I wasn't ready. I had been told to stay open and look for similarities vs. differences. I did not - I didn't want to be there, I was still fighting everything and everyone and felt I did not need another program or 'more work'...
I did return at the advice of my sponsor completely defeated, broken and full of despair. I am not really sure that I intended to have an open mind or an open heart but I do know that the shares and authenticity of others touched me. I was intrigued at every level that they could love and live with the disease and the diseased and be genuinely joyful and serene.
I had no idea what I needed or what I wanted but I did know from that point forward that I felt better on meeting days. Thus, it began - I made meeting day a frequent part of my self-care.
With experience from the other side, I did know that if I wanted to heal and grow, I needed to reach out for help at any time, to anyone. I did not have the same level of fear and anxiety as when I arrived for the other side so do know it can be hard. I have never been rejected in recovery when I have asked for help - such a blessing and a gift.
It was suggested that I listen and look for the similarities, so that did help. What I find fascinating, is no matter what brings us to Al-Anon - parent, sibling, friend, husband, child, other - we have similar struggles in how it affects us. That helped me understand that no matter how different I am from another, there's learning to be had from everyone. I still pray for an open mind/open heart before I go to any meeting - just a prep step to be open to learning more.
Happy, happy Sunday MIP family. Hope you're having a lovely day!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
When I first cane into al anon I noticed the similarities. I dd not however want to change. I wanted the alcohic to change
I.wanted it my way. On many levels I wanted to do anything but recover
I am looking long and hard at how I have to do it all the hard way.
This yesr has been a series of disasters for me. One of the disasters was moving.
I went for a moving company that was too good to be true. Sure enough they left me high and dry. They left me with a disaster
I had another option but I had to.take the hard one. Why do I take the harder route
In my relationship with the qualifier I knew early on it was not working. Indeed I ended up in hosoital because of it.
I chose the hard way again. There was never anything remotey comfortable about my life with the qualifier.
I have chosen the #hard# way most of my life. No wonder I am currently exhausted
I chose the same when I.cane to.al anon
I chose not to.follow the program because I was still wiling to.do the hard way.
I was resolute about the hard way for ever.
This past year has proved a tiurning point for me. A turning point that brought ne to my knees. Only then would I stop and say whst is this hard way?
Luckiy for me eventually I started to work the program. I was willing to take suggestions and embrace the philosophy
Maresie
Aloha Family and thank you all so much for supporting this brother in recovery. It is how I kept my life and kept living it until today. Like others I didn't know and didn't know that I didn't know when I first got here and use to claim to myself "you are as dumb as a stick" ...and I was because I didn't know and didn't know that I didn't know. I found out in college that was description of absolute lack of awareness yet at that time I would and could handle it with anger and self righteousness. I was at the meetings just to see what others were claiming in blame and such so I could do the same to and with my alcoholic/addict. I needed a absolute reason why my life was so messed up no to mention that my life had been so messed up before the alcoholic showed up and asked "so do you wanna have a drink with me after work"? That was the wax on the slide and came close to both her demise and mine.
This morning I laid in bed in meditation with my Higher Power focusing the meditation on my journey in Al-Anon and other recovery methods from the start. I was deeply impresses beyond even what I have experienced in the pass. I have been here in the work for 42 years...I am impressed and will return to the method again tomorrow morning. My Higher Power has more that it wants me to see and understand and will not mind if I laugh and experience the chuckles. I am learning and I am communicating with my Higher Power ...my Father as HP continues to name it daily with the reason to give what I learn away to others who will come after us.
Mary... nice to see this reading... 
