The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am blessed and humbled to celebrate my birthday with my brother from another mother, Jerry! Happy, happy birthday brother - please know I am extremely grateful to have you be a part of my journey! May this day be lovely for you and me and all of MIP.
I am posting the daily for 9/19, Saturday, for PnP. She's affected (but OK) by the fires out West and hopes to be back soon.
Tomorrow's reading is about Step 8 - Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
Many start with their Step 4 inventory in making the list. As we progress through the steps and consider this step, often we see patterns of destructive behavior, and often find others we have harmed despite the best of intentions. As the harm we have done becomes more clear, then we can begin the process of making changes and amends and feel better about our behaviors and how we interact with others.
Reminder: An Eighth Step list helps me to let go of guilt and regret I may be carrying from the past. I will approach this Step with love and gentleness because I take it for my own freedom.
Quote from '. . . In All Our Affairs - ". . . Our actions have consequences, and some times other people get hurt. By taking Step Eight, we acknowledge this fact and become willing to make amends."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Step Eight is an action step. By the time I got here, there was definitely patterns of destructive behavior of note. I also no longer felt 'good' when I would react instead of responding. This list gave me some pocket courage to want to be different and to practice different. This list also reminded me that there is no excuse - not the disease or the diseased - for being unkind, mean-spirited, demanding, controlling, etc.
The second part is all about willingness. For me, it was about setting aside my ego and my wants, and just working to be ready and willing to make amends to bring me peace. Each of these steps is intended to help me be a better version of me. I deeply believe that there is no room for new in my head/heart if I am still wrapped up in and obsessing about others.
Make tomorrow a great day MIP family!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I am uniquely blessed to have known Jerry for a few years. His dedication to this origeam is legendary. Moreover his wisdom, patience, grace and tenacity is impressive.
Fear of the futyre us one of my core issues. Jerry has navigated so many obstacles since he retired, so I can now believe a peaceful rich life is indeed possible even for me
I hope you have a wonderful birthday and continue to celebrate life at every opportunity
Thank you for your participation in this group
Maresie
I am uniquely blessed to have known Jerry for a few years. His dedication to this origeam is legendary. Moreover his wisdom, patience, grace and tenacity is impressive.
Fear of the futyre us one of my core issues. Jerry has navigated so many obstacles since he retired, so I can now believe a peaceful rich life is indeed possible even for me
I hope you have a wonderful birthday and continue to celebrate life at every opportunity
Thank you for your participation in this group
Maresie
Happy Birthday to you IAH and Jerry. You are both inspirations to me. Thank you for your service IAH.
I did not love Step 8 as I do now. In my early days the Steps, although I wanted to do them, felt so painful and difficult. Now I know they are amazing tools for navigating life and I cherish all of them. Step 8 comes easily because I do not wish to inflict pain upon anyone, not even my A. So if I realize I may have hurt someone it is second nature now, to just make amends. It's easy. My action has an automatic reaction. All good and not scary anymore!
I heard from my sponsor that on listing the persons I had harmed, to list myself first. This means I need to amend -- to improve -- my relationship with myself. Only if I have kindness to myself can I find kindness to others.
Mahalo (Thank you) to all for the wishes and love...and specially my sister from another mother. I could only have realized it thru this family and my Higher Power. My original sister passed in the early fifties from Lupus and HP knew I was going to need a golden replacement such as IAH. Love you sister and hope your day was special as my own was. You are super example for me. Mahalo Akua. Thank you God. ((((hugs))))
I had a good day....I heard from 1 son of 2, and 1 brother of 3. My parents called and emailed and sent a card - they're sure cute! My golf game was horrible - I do believe I was distracted by the only gift I asked for - a HUGE CHEESEBURGER w/Tater Tots. The golf course restaurant is known for these so that was the plan. Well - plans change - they'd had a tourney and were out of buns and tots, so we changed it up, ordered while driving home and I still got my huge cheeseburger with some fries!!!
My 'adopted family' - program friends and others beat my real family to the punch. When I woke up and as the morning progressed, I got tons of birthday wishes via text & email. So - it was a good day and I am so, so grateful I get to share it with my brother Jerry! I love you too - beyond grateful we get to share this program and that day in common when we both arrived here!
Love and light to all....happy Sunday!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Rose you are a special lady in my days 1. because you are one of several "Roses" I get to say I know and have memories with the statement and 2. because you bring energy and courage to recovery which I so often look for myself. In early program I use to sit and then run from the meetings and the groups because I was shy and fearful (never use to admit that) and then the energy to get involved in service not only in the program and also in service outside of it in the school districts, community service, city and country support.
Hey IAH...my birthday is tomorrow....AND I am working after 2 months of zero activity....short day and he pays well...maybe i'll get me a pizza after work, LOL
(((((((((((((((((((((Jerry))))))))))))))))))))))) You are a dear!!! a dear as a person AND my fellow recovery family member....I love reading you....you bring out the kinder, nicer me when I read you...I WILL keep coming back...I want soooo bad to be and do better....and you, dear brother in recovery (and similiar birthdays) have helped me more than you can imagine................
Happy Birthday Rose and I can be special also as I have Pizza in the refer left over from yesterday and a day before. It's good...a bit stiff and still good. Want me to mail you some?
(((((((((((((((Jerry))))))))))))))))))) Now I KNOW you are a brother from different parents.....pizza...one of my FAVORITES.....abuse the cheese, lots of veggies and fruits and I am one happy camper, ...yea, send me a bit , LOL.......HP loves Jerry as well.......
hey TT, he is a regular...i've worked for him (only about quarterly, but he pays SUPER) anyway, he got in touch with me to work tomorrow....only till about noon, but thats kinda good as I am coming back after long layoff AND i am gonna figure out how to slow down, not work so much...at my age, i've managed to save some of my unemployment and have some savingsk, being so frugal, anyway, , a bit, anyway, I could take off a year if i wanted to, but i'll keep working for a couple of years then I think I am gonna reeeely slow down as I am tired...
Thank you Maresie....I do hope your day went well today and tomorrow will be a bright nice day for YOU!!! actually tomorrow I am going back to work for an old regular whom i see quarterly, havn't seen him for 6 mos., so work will be piled up, but my slogan for tomorrow is....Easy does it.....first things first........and even HE said that, "yea, lets don't push ourselves..lets do this in pieces" hes a nice guy.....
My days are increasingly difficult due to the pandemic and a rennovation that never ends. In addition I.have been working 7 days a week for months.
So I believe it will be a while before I see some relief. I do have priorities though and I hope I will be able to keeo to them
I have not cekebrated a birthday in years. Holidays and birthdays are huge triggers for me. So far one of the few strategies I.have that works is to minimize them
Being triggered is too time consuming and diffickt to negotiate.
Maresie
Happy Belated birthday Rose....I missed the added messages so my apologies. I hope it was a great one and that you got and enjoyed your pizza!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
HAAAY , IAH....thanks for b-day wish.....nawww didn't go for pizza, I went to goodwill and got some really neat things i could use instead, ..Pizza is gone when its gone...this stuff will at least last, LOL.....I worked for a regular, I hadn't seen him in 6 months, and we got to chatting and I did mention my b-day and he gave me $50 extra on my check....so it was a good birthday and I hope yours was a good one as well.......
I am so glad you had a nice birthday
I am running back to the hospital tomorrow to get the flu shot
I know none of us were orepared for the first wave of the pandemic. This next 2nd wave of the oandemic I intend to be
I have given up thinking there is not going to be another shut down
I try to get the flu shot every year. I also generally get the flu everu year too
As I have asthma I have to be careful. I have already ended up in the hospital not able to breathe. Ill health can sneak up on you. When I got sick this year I wss not oaying attention to I was not getting enough rest. It is hard to rest when you have a roommate deliberately making a lot of noise when you are trying to rest.
These days I am working hard on getting more quality rest and recuperation
.Staying healthy is one of my main goals. One of my boundary check points now is dies someone bring more problems into my life. If they do, i have to lessen contact with them. Pretty simole - i just need to make it work.
Maresie
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