The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's reading is from Courage to Change. It speaks about Step 8.
"Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all."
The author describes Step 8 as "the means to release myself from unrelenting guilt." They go onto say that by making this list and becoming willing to make amends-- that finally seeing the words and memories and pain in front of them-- they were finally able to see that it was almost manageable! That taking this step was freeing themselves from the weight. At this point, there is no concern for acting on the amends... just the willingness to accept them and the pain your actions may have caused - both to others and to yourself.
Today'a Reminder: "Guilt is a burden that keeps me from giving myself fully and freely to the present. I can begin to rid my mind of guilt by quietly admitting where and when I have done wrong to people, including myself."
I made my amends to my qualifier and to my son long ago, but I still like to walk through Step 8. No one is perfect, and I make little errors every day. By doing a frequent Step 8, I can accept my part, my role in my life. And then act accordingly. A "Living Amends" as they say!
After two weeks, my rib is finally not screaming at me, and I can take in deep breaths! Huzzah! It has even cooled off into the mid-90's today... perhaps I'll go outside for walk! The weeding will still have to wait though, I don't want to cause a reinjury.
Wishing you all peace today! &
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Thanks PnP for your service and I like your share. I try to take action right away these days. I am aware of my hurt to others, thought I try not to harm anyone, and if I have or even think I have, I apologize or speak to that person right away. And as the reading says, this is to free myself of guilt. Honestly, I feel terrible if I hurt someones feelings and by immediately making amends I feel so much better. I spent years being miserable and now I want to take actions that bring me self-respect and self-esteem. Making amends is a great way to stay on top of positive behavior for me.
I agree wholeheartedly, Lyne! Making quick amends keeps resentments from forming, and keeps me positive too!
I love that you said, "...I want to take actions that bring me self-respect and self-esteem."
Such a powerful statement!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Thank you PnP for your service and the daily. When I read this step (any many others), it seemed larger than life. As I progressed through the steps, each became smaller with guidance, effort and patience with myself. Setting aside my need/want to do it perfect was difficult, as was accepting progress is the goal. What I tend to do is think ahead so the list and willingness seemed manageable to me - it was the next step that frightened me. One day at a time, one step at a time, one moment at a time is how this program works. When I try to do any of it 'my way' with 'my will' - it can go sideways in a hurry.
Using that lovely pause really helps me be more responsive vs. reactive. Being more responsive while practicing empathy and kindness leads me to healthier outcomes. I am always willing to admit when I am wrong and to make any amends necessary -- practicing recovery really helps keep my side of the street clean.
Thanks to all for your ESH & shares - happy Sunday!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
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