The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The reading for Monday, 8/24, discusses the growth value of honesty and candor. We are then able to admit that our behavior, like that of the alcoholic, was not sane or reasonable. If we can do this without shame or embarrassment, we are able to break free.
The reminder says that we need alanon not only to deal with the anguish of living with alcoholism, but that program is a philosophy and a way of life, that we never outgrow.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
I relate to this reading on several levels. I recall prior to program how ashamed and embarrassed I was to tell anyone what was going on in my householdlying, drinking and driving, emotional abuse, etc. I also did not see the effect this was having on me. What little self-esteem I had I lost, and I spiraled into a well of negative emotions. After several years of program, I did experience a new found freedom. What a relief!
Since I still live with an untreated alcoholic, I have a need to be in touch with program people. I also need reminders about my tools, slogans, steps, etc., because it might happen that I could slip down into that dark well. I do not want to go there ever again.
I have to.manage ny trigger level quite carefully. Managing my stress was not something that I did before. Now I am wiite happy to say this is enough on my plate
My antenna for #sticky# relationships is far more refined. I am able to set limits and to set a distance.
I hsve a lot of grief for the olaces being around alcoholucs took me. I had ni limuts and no voundaries. #no# only came into the picture when I was totally exhausted
Yeaterday I tried to set myself up so that I was resilent to wbat I had to deal with. I cane someway with that but I dodnt hace the tools to be as resilient as I.needed to be.
I still need more tools in certain situations.
I dont know if I will ever get completely away.from alcoholism it is everywhere. I know the better the program I run the better it is for me
I am glad you are bringing up these topics because these are #trying# times. I need to remind myself daily of the limits I have
Maresie
Thank you Lyne for the daily and both for your ESH.
This is a great page that reminds me that the real problem and source of most of my suffering, pain, and unhappiness lies not with the alcoholic, but with me.
By focusing on using the tools and guidance of the program, my serenity need be determined no longer by what the alcoholic or others do or don't. It is determined by my reliance on my higher power, work on the steps, and my focus on improving my spiritual understanding and outlook.
Grateful for the wisdom of the program
__________________
Paul
"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives." - Paths to Recovery
Great topic and interesting timing, I had a similar conversation with someone yesterday pointing out a similar page from another reader - the writer vowed NEVER to drink like their qualifier. And yet they find they can still get drunk...
on feelings.
If not checked, hurt feelings, anger, and fear will trigger a downward spiral where they are unable to function. allowing their bad moods, it can drag them into depression (emotionally drunk.)
Step One (for the writer of this page) is about acceptance of powerlessness to stop these emotional binges once they gain momentum.
Reaching for Step Two, they gain the power to reunite Self with higher power, however small their attempt is (picking up the phone to call sponsor, reading literature, making a meeting.) Working on having the feelings... but not letting them control their life.
During this pandemic, Step Two is bringing hope and "relief" to me and so many program friends, God doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.
I did not act in sane ways, I tried to fix EVERYTHING! I took on too much responsibility for things that were beyond my control.
The biggest admittance of honesty (for me), was that I could not continue to live that way.
I happen to particularly love the Reminder!!
to all today!
__________________
"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Thank you Lyne for your service and the daily. Thanks to all for your shares & ESH. I lost my car keys today on the golf course, which in the moment, felt like a horrible issue, a huge mistake and my first inclination was to throw blame/shame beyond me. This is INSANE because nobody but me touched my keys and nobody but me put them in a place where they flew out of the cart or .... I truly have no idea.
Our arrival at the course was distracting and different - my AH is not feeling well and was asking me if I had ibuprofen/tylenol...Needless to say, I went into 'search and fix' mode because I know I have some - just not sure where they are!!! Instead of finishing what I was doing and then being of service, I changed up things and my keys are missing/lost.
I am so grateful that my recovery tools are never far away. I am able to pause long enough to redirect the crazy mind and see it for what it is - lost keys. Fault is mine; not a crisis; etc. I have taken all the action I can think of - drove the whole course twice looking in all places I remember being, leaving a description at the pro shop and asking a person who lives on the course to put an ad on a neighborhood app.
No matter how long I am in recovery, I will always be reminded that I am powerless over ................................... when I need the reminder. I do have a spare set, thankfully and am working to get another set. It's been a long, hot Monday in my world!! I am very grateful for this program and the tools which can restore me closer to sanity when I use them. Love and light all!!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
to all today!