The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
As you all know this year has been horrendous for me. Moving out of ny aoartment. Staying with an abusive alcoholic who was really verbally abusive when I was ill. Really really ill. Living in a construction zone for a year (still ongoing) . Getting a huge unexpected bill that I had to enoty my.savings to pay (and then make oayments). I had major health probmems but most of all major problems in dealing with this series of disasters. My health oroblems have become much better.
Lately I have been working 7 days a week. I have to work ar certain places because of the nature of my contract. Yesterday I went in for one of the two days that I have to.work. i have been dreading it but.diligently working my orogram. I hsve to say it was worse than ever. However diligently workng my.program made the absolutely unbearable possible to.endure. Endurance is about all I can put it. I have one more day to #endure# next week
I have given uo hopimg it will get better because everytime I turn around there is another issue.
I.am only able to.#endure# this extremely difficult year because I double down on my program. I am working 7 days a week (have been for months) and will (eventually) be able to save up again. Meantime I focus exclusively on the next right thing
Meantime I focus exclusively on what I need to.do next. I work #hope is s discipline# religiously because i know every day I have to get up and take action.
Every day I take action the closer I get to my goals which are these days exclusuvely about my life. Those days of saving others before myself are finally over
Maresie
"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Oh boy! Maresie- this is survival in action... ...I have been through this phase in my life... and I did find a better space- as a consequence. And now I get to rest somewhat- more than I expected. And relax...
Yeah this year has been a big one. One lesson is not to reside somewhere during a rennovation
I need to.move out of the area I live in. I am putting things in place to.do that.
I have given up believing things will get bettet this year. Next year next year
Maresie
{{{Maresie}}}. Your plate sounds full and yet you are making decisions so you can take care of yourself. You are learning from your hardships. You are resigning from the doormat club like myself! Keep up the good work!
The doormat issue is so true. As part of my.contract i have to work soecific events. That particular department is not run well. So i.signed up.for the bare minimum
I.have one more day I.have to do.
Everyday they text me several times a day askimg me to.work. i.say very little just I am unavailable
I.am looking forward to the day I.do not gave to deal with my.former roommate. Lile others he feels like he can get away wuth treatung me badly.
This is ny last round with him. There is no.showdown at the okay corral. I am just bowing out.
I no longer have to sign up to be stomped all over. Getting out of it does not hapoen in one big dramatic passage. Instead ot is dekiberate calculated and quietly effective.
Maresie