The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
For me what is critical is to check not only my exoectations but to look at other people's expectations too.
It is quite clear to me that all the people I had relationships with had completely unreal expectations of a relatiobship
For sone reason (probably because of my own expectations) I jouned that oarty
Now one of ny.clear criteria for dealing with oeople is checking expectations. I have been working really hard to get through sone of my goals. The place whetr I am working at this afternoon has completely unreal expectations of their staff. Right now I only work for their comoany two days a week. From September 1 it will be down to one day a week. That is progress for me. The other progress is to exit gently. No big scebe,no festering resentment, no explosion of all my.triggers to try to put back in olace
I am just slipping out the backdoor
Not only only did I have unreal expectations of the relationship I have also got a punishment issue. My acting out my anger because my expectations were not met. In the case of my qualifier the issue was endless mutual cycles of punishment
Of course when you are in the middle of a dysfunctional collusion (which I view as what I do in a relationship) there is no persoective. There is no ability to step back and look.at options
Punushment is a big issue for me. How I react to being ounished. How I punish others. How I even plot the punishment. Therr is something in there for ne to continue this behavior and one is there is still a connection.
Maresie
My father taught me to never burn bridges when it came to jobs... you never know where that glowing recommendation will come from. I have found that no matter how pissed off I am at a job, it was good advice.
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Actially the expectations on this particular job are way way off. I only work there 2 days a week
I had to switch up jobs becauss there was a chance I would be laid iff. I need so mb e good breaks because this year had been a hard one
Maresie
