The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I always had trouble reaching out for help. In my world the parents- the the grandparents always needed help.
And they always seemed to have the highest priority. Kids were seen, and not heard- and me, personally always seemed to be a waste of space.
Just being present in this group is enough.
My SO had heaps of leave to use up. She was an essential worker- and needed a break. She is in a camper in the North Island. I plan to meet up with her at our son's place in two weeks time.
NZ had done really well with the pandemic. We had needed to go into shock, into denial. To minimise the impact, and then into a state of acceptance. We lost 22 people in NZ. Most of these were in two rest homes.
But now we have six new cases and Auckland is in lock-down.
SO may be caught up in that if the situation gets worse.
All things being equal we are no worse off than most people in the world. Life has to go on, regardless.
I did begin to doubt everything. Needed to place a check on that.
There is a help-line in NZ if we have mental health issues. I do not need this. If I was to give myself advice, I would advise myself to share here. To start a thread- and to add to it when needed.
It is a glitch, in the world wide scheme of things.
I have found that the hardest thing about this pandemic is not controlling others.... you heard me right, Not Controlling Others. That means my co-workers, my neighbors, and my 80 year-old parents.
Before this hit, I talked to anyone who would listen to me about how bad this was going to be. I pleaded with them to stock up on water, pantry foods and at least a 3 month supply of medications. I asked them to buy N95 masks. They laughed at me when I told them, "Well, this will be the last time we meet for a dinner out in a long while." I had the distinct feeling that they thought I was the proverbial "crazy, doomsday person" you see in all the movies. This was right after the first of the year.
Well, we know how it's gone now, don't we? Afterwards, many still wouldn't wear masks. They think I am a germaphobe for bringing alcohol wipes with me wherever I go. I used to worry myself sick... Lockdown wasn't so bad - I work in the health field, so I still needed to work, but at least no one I loved was having increased exposure... just me... and I can control me.
Now it is just a free-for-all. I had worried myself sick. At some point I just decided that our country messed up royaly, and there is no chance of stopping the spread... no CONTROL. So I came back to my Al-Anon teachings, and accepted that all I can do is control MY actions. Mask. Wipes. Washing hands. Wiping down purchased groceries. Keeping 6 ft distance.Taking OTC drugs to bolster my immunity. Get plenty of good rest.
My parents finally were "all in" when they saw a program where they actually showed people on the COVID ward getting intubated. It shocked them. Good.
I will keep you and your SO in my prayers. If anyone hand a "handle" on this this thing, it was NZ... so take faith in that, David!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
I.have certainy been in.the worry free for al regardig this pandemic. I found it excrutating
I worried terribly how it would affect me. This situation has certainly affected me demonstrably.
I have had to surrender. That is even after I believe I have had the virus earlier this year. I know I probably did have the virus because there has been a surge recently.
I did not catch. The virus was a factor in one of my neighbor' deaths.
I do.know what it is to.surremder. The virus has and still does affect me demonstrably.
I have found my way through it with the help.of alanon. I continue to.have to deal wth this daily. It is all uphill.
I am so lucky to be part.of.Al.anon.
Maresie
Maresie... Have a way beating the C-PTSD that blighted my life. I am able to sooth myself to sleep- through a simple breathing technique, using nose breathing.
I woke up with a song on my heart. Molly, the Bijon, clambered up and nestled on my tummy in solidarity.
It was an old hymn- "Count Your Blessings". I live in a country, maybe the size and population of Kansas. Thinks are more manageable here. People in charge are younger, and have better communication skills, and management skills, as a consequence.
I used to have a heavy global view- of everything. Covid would have floored and overwhelmed me.
At a meeting one member said: "It's a selfish program!"
"Not for me," was my response to that. I need to connect, to share and to be in community with people.
I wanted not to be self centred, but centred on self. My sense of self was really wounded.
There has to be help and hope around us somewhere. Isolation has been awful- hellish.
There is strength in numbers, and a sense of safety in numbers.
I take a lotto ticket 3 or 4 times a year. This week the pool was up to 50m. [Of our watered down dollars!]
Past years I would dream of how I was going to hide my win from SO. Mostly because I thought there would be no agreement on how to spend. And the whole exercise wouldn't be worth the trouble.
Today I can't get the results for two hours. 5 people won 10m each.
SO is on holiday and i talked with her. This pattern of small-talk has been lifesaver!
This had turned into a life that is pleasant! Hey! ... enjoyable, sometimes...
Anyway I said to her- if we did win- should we give the tree kids $333k each- to pay off their mortgages.
She texted back- yep is there was stuff left over for us- enough for our life.
That $15 ticket was well worth it- for 10 mins of marriage guidance, and counselling!
Im in NY and have plenty of COVID related issues to deal with. Had an anxiety attack the first time I went to the grocery store in a mask. Thought I had the virus in the beginning of June due to having a fever and headaches for several days...I got tested and they lost my test...Had a re-test which came back negative. It seems that much of the testing results are not reliable.
As time goes on I cope better but between the virus and my A, I get to practice my program tools many times everyday. And they work which is why I keep coming back to this board and my zoom F2F and all of it. Serenity Prayer very popular with me these days....
Thanks Lyne... I liked the lottery, because if gave me a chance to dream.
Last Friday week I was at the airport seeing my SO off on her holiday. The next Sunday I got a 24 hour tummy bug. I was being cautious- and went to the medical centre and got a covid-19 test. The nurse said that if it tested positive then they would be on my case within 10 minutes. Our country had 102 days clear of new cases. Going through a second wave now... But I did try to get my test results- just as a double check- and I am still waiting.
I find myself in little huddles, mostly online- sharing information about the pandemic... trying to get things straight...
I am so sorry your island went on another lockdown
I am really tired of standing on my head about this virus
I am also tired of standing on my head regarding the rennovation of the building
There is no communication whatsoever between the owners management and the tenants. Their attitude is that it is their building and tough if you do not like it.
I cannot wait for labor day when there will be a few days relief from the noise and disruption. In theory they will be finished in october. That is a matter of weeks.
Maresie
... thanks. 
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