This is a great place to learn boundaries. Not so much personal boundaries- but group boundaries... and small 'p' group politics. Being in a place where we get to get stuff done... and where, after years of internal battling, get to do stuff together... :D 

I am baching at home, at the moment. 'Baching' in NZ means that I am home alone. My SO is on holiday- and I am joining her for a week- in 10 days time.

Last week I bought a duvet cover from the Hospice Shop and i am using it- sleeping close to the fire. It is still freezing cold here- at night.

Sunday- I am thinking about Step 12 again, and what it might mean.

It is possible, these days, that I am not going to coach and burn again- ever. Not fully resolved on this- but getting close.

To fill in an evening- I have been doing a 9 hour talking book- on a topic set in the old south.

Half way through- I realised that i had done this before. But, too, I realised that I was seeing things from a different, and a really fresh perspective.

We, of any people on the planet know when the mind is playing tricks on us. And of course, right from the get-go we cannot see this- until it is almost too late.  

Lack or loss or damage of essential boundaries.

I best describe this one by saying- that I used to just gatecrash conversations and just hope for the best! 

Having my hearing in my left ear corrected has given me a real new lease on life. I can hear nuance and timbre now another people's voices.

How many times do I say and repeat this! It was a miracle.

The sad thing was that I always had that facility. I just had to tap into it. 

About the age of 20 i had my spiritual experience. I spoke in tongues, and have never really done it since. I had two or three days where everything seemed to come together.

But it di don't last. I described my life of psychosis as having a broken leg- which was left untreated. And people took a good swift kick at it- from time to time.

That is truly what it felt like. 

But Lo! and behold I did have a life, a world and a family. But I felt really really alone and desperate. In pain. The sad, the bad and the mad.

I have heard 20,000 share and offered about 10,000... ...I have immersed myself in the programme.

I have bin able to sit in a safe place- at least for 90 minutes a week.  ...

Some of you reading this may have heard shades of this conversation before.

And yes... ...maybe I am trying to tailor my sharing- so that one day- what ah says- might be accessible to newcomers, as well.

Who knows?

I have no fear of senile dementia- because it will be familiar territory anyway. But mainly because i may well buck the system. Stay for and active- in mind spirit and body.

Ah used to say: "Don't get mad, get even. Get even with the world, by getting better."

There you go- what else could anyone do! 

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