The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Tomorrow's Courage to Change is about courage. The page discusses hesitating at times, hoping for a miracle, instead of trusting Higher Power. We often forget that the miracle is already here. With Al-Anon recovery, we each have a Higher Power who is always here for us, helping us to cope with fears and find new, effective solutions to problems. We no longer have to be held hostage by our problems, we are instead free to act or not act, to take a chance, to hold off on a decision, to make choices that feel right for us.
Reminder: It takes courage to step beyond what is comfortable, predictable and known. Courage is a gift from my Higher Power that I find in the rooms of Al-Anon and in the hearts of its members.
Quote of the Day from Martin Luther King, Jr.: "Courage faces fear and thereby masters it."
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I would not have described myself as a fearful person when I arrived. I was angry, defeated, frustrated, lost and broken yet did not consider fear in the equation of the chaos of my life/heart/soul. What I've discovered as I've worked the steps is the majority of my actions that harmed myself and others were all fear based. The two primary categories of fear I uncovered was fear of loosing something I felt entitled to and fear of what was coming next.
It took a great sponsor, tons of work/effort and brutal honesty to accept that I (and nobody else) was responsible for me, my emotions, my reactions, my feelings, my state and status, etc. I had acquired many unhealthy ways of trying to deal with the effects of this disease and had to go through a serious retooling.
It takes great courage to be brutally honest about ourselves and our circumstances. It takes great courage to have and trust a sponsor and share at a level where real growth can happen. It takes great courage to accept we are powerless over other people, places and things and the disease, as well as the diseased.
I prefer a simpler approach to my life today and when I feel fear raising within, I do all that I can to practice faith instead. I do accept and trust the God of my understanding to lead me where I need to go - I just must remember to get out of my own way. When I am restless, irritable or discontent, and have the courage to truly examine what 'is', I find more often than not that it is my will and my ego getting in the way (again).
Life is truly pretty darn good when I can stay on my side of the street, trust the program, process and my HP and just keep things as simple as possible. I'm grateful for this program, and for all who came before me - they carried me until I could walk, they shared ESH with me until I could talk and they showed me there was/is a much better way to live life on life's terms.
Off to golf in the morning all - make your Thursday a great one! Love and light to all!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thanks IAH for your service and wonderful share. I wish I was a stranger to fear, but in my FOO I lived with a raging brother and think my personality developed with a fear base. I feared everything as I went through life. And then having my romantic partners addicts, I still could not find the consistency and reality that I needed. So program has taught me to put my trust in myself and HP, and not rely on others who are not reliable. Isn't that a concept! Life is better, and when I am afraid of things now, I try to gently push myself to do it. I guess because program has taught me I'm allowed to make mistakes and fail at things, it doesn't wipe away all the good I do have. At least I can let myself try....
Iamhere, thank you for your service and this special Daily! I hope you have an enjoyable morning 'on the links!'
This was such a great share, I might just copy/paste to my desktop... I never knew I could be so courageous. I also didn't know that most of my decisions were based on my Fears - until I did my 2nd Step 4 that is!!!
I found a cute little wall plaque a week or so after I moved out... it said, "She believed she could... and she DID!" I carried it all around the thrift store while "browsing" that day... it was a purchase I didn't need and could barely afford, so I went back and forth in my mind for a long time! I mean, I was there to buy clothes for my kid, not to buy something for myself. But I finally justified the cost with the fact that it was exactly in the colors of my new bedroom, and the words... well they were just perfect. When I got it home, I hung it proudly in a place of prominence on my wall near my bed. Each day I looked to it to give me strength to do all the things I had to do to become self-sufficient.
Today it is still there. It still has powerful meaning for me. I now know that my HP was guiding me that day...I really did need that purchase! I am so happy I listened to my inner voice!
&
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
The courage to change the things i can is the courage I tried to draw on.
My sponsor used to say: "Courage is fear that has said it's prayers."
I am drawing on courage, at the moment. An old friend and support passed this week. She was my teacher at age 15. She was the vicar's wife... and at age 21 she and family took me in from time to time when I needed support. I took my first communion at their church.
Sadly vicar was an alcoholic and later killed himself. But Whenua battled on and created a new life for herself.
Had another funeral last Monday. Someone we knew well.
People in my world- in the 90 age group are dying fast. But what occurs to me is the quality of life i had- and the deep reaching people I had hung out with. I an hoping for 15 or 20 years of good life until old age catches up. I actually find some joy and relief in a good funeral- especially with kids and grand-kids attending and participating.
These days we all have nine lives- and get to survive some horrible things... ...so, leaving, in the end cant be all that bad!
This month I have had to cut down on meetings. Reserving my commitment to the people I know- in the networks I am in.
This is a big concession. I have always been keen as mustard- with recovery groups.
Actually- I needed to come into the circle and own these events. I am tearing up. It has been a tough week...
((((David)))) Sending you some David, over the web!!
I have noticed that here in America (and I bet it is universal), that a human's life goes through stages:
At first, most everyone you know is college-bound. Then all your friends start getting married. Then the next thing you know, you are attending all these baby showers, b/c well, families come next! Then there is a lull, where life is just being lived. Then most people you know are going through the processes of finding care for their elderly parents or dealing with deaths in the family. Then "you" begin to hear of contemporaries passing away. Pretty soon, most of the people you know are gone. If you are lucky (unlucky?) to live the longest, "you" are alone with someone you don't know, caring for you in a nursing home.
My parents are in the category of most of their friends have passed. I am thankfully not quite in the stage of dealing with parents who cannot take care of themselves... but it is coming, sooner rather than later due to their health issues. I am learning to accept this, and deal with this (thank you Al-Anon).
I think that all we can do as humans. is to appreciate and validate those around us when they are there. I see your post of speaking about the vicar's wife as a tribute to the wonderful person she was, and to the meaning she brought to your life.
Wishing for you... Serenity.
&
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
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Thanks Iam, Lyne and P. 
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