The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
In today's reading from C2C, the author reflects on resentments. Prior to Al-Anon, resentments occupied and poisoned most of the author's waking moments. The author could think about resentments for days, weeks, months, or years, constantly justifying why they felt the way they did about something. Today, the author understand that it is no necessary to constantly review how they have been hurt, or to assign blame, or to determine damages. Noticing feelings is important, but focusing on resentments is not.
Holding on to resentments prevents the feelings of joy, happiness, and contentment. Rather than spending energy on resentments, today, the author puts energy where it can do some good. Steps 6 and 7 help the author to let go of resentments.
Today's Reminder: If I am holding a resentment, I can simply ask for relief, for peace of mind in the present moment. I will remind myself that this relief will come in God's time. Then I can grow quiet, be patient, and wait.
Today's Quote: "No man can think clearly when his fists are clenched." George Jean Nathan
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I like the reminder in today's reading that I have power and control over how my day goes. I Can focus on injustices, resentments, and negative emotions, and have a terrible day, or I can let these things go and instead focus on things that make me happy or bring me joy and have a nice day. Other people cannot make me feel a certain way, and they do not have control over my day. It is my response to them that dictates how my day will go. How fortunate that I'm in charge of what my response is!
I'm at a virtual conference this week, would usually be on site, but not this year because of the pandemic. I hope you make today a great day!
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
Thank you for your service Skorpi and this fantastic Daily!
It took me awhile to realize I was holding onto resentments in an unhealthy way. Someone patient and kind told me, "Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy?" That one sentence made all the difference in the world to me!! For so long I wanted to be right!! I think b/c I lived with a "professional" gaslighter, it was important for me to know what was real and what was fallacy... so being right was "important." But it wasn't really. Those resentments just kept me stuck.
Thankfully, today, I can look at just about any situation and ask myself, "Why are you holding onto this? You are focusing on a resentment. How's that going for ya?" "Are you happier?" The answer is always "NO."
Happy Hump Day everyone! Remember, if the day started out rough, you can always ask for a "Do Over!"
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Happy Hump Day MIP family! This is an awesome daily - thanks for your service Skorpi! Thanks to you and PnP for your shares and ESH. Resentments seemed to 'eat my lunch' often before recovery. I am one who was stuck in thinking what should be instead of what is. I allowed resentments to consume me often/always. I 100% agree and believe that my ability to think clearly is lacking greatly when I am stuck in a state of anger/resentments/the past.
There is no doubt most of us, if not all, have been hurt deeply by another because of this disease. Forgiving another and healing from the pain, anger and resentments is intended to help us be happy, joyous and free. When I am weighed down and stuck frozen in place because of what has happened or has been, I am not moving forward. Around my parts, we suggest often that if you're not moving forward (in recovery), you're slipping backwards - there is no resting on our laurels or ASSuming we've 'got it'....this disease just doesn't work that way!
I am willing to do whatever is necessary to relieve myself of resentments. They are the number one offender of relapse for both sides of my recovery and it's safer for me to let go and let God than pretend I can entertain them. I just no longer desire to be burdened by negative energy, negative people and negative parts of my past. I never considered living in the present, just this one day, until I got to recovery and it's a much better way for me today. This doesn't mean that which happened doesn't hurt, or disappoint or cause me to pause - it just means I am willing to be open to learning, open to accepting and open to taking action vs. wallowing in 'that' stuff.
I go out of my way to avoid drama/chaos today. I go out of my way to avoid crazy/controlling persons today. My serenity is far more important to me today than even just yesterday and am willing to do what's necessary to keep it!
I hope your conference goes well Skorpi! I have a friend who has some continuing educ. that is usually F2F also doing zoom sessions instead. I'm in between golf outings and still enjoying the gift of unseasonably lovely weather in my world. Love and light to all - make it a great day!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I think I unloaded a resentment this morning in a topic on Step 8.
Prolonged anger, shame, fear, grief or anything- is damaging- and spills out into our relationships.
I have managed to make the serenity prayer my hope and my friend. I never hated or resented the older generation, thankfully. Because I am a member now!
I learned to hate and resent the disease- and make that my focus.
Moving into the present these days- not to forget entirely, but to take up the tough tough lessons life has dished out.
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Thanks Skorpi, P. and Iam... 