The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Todays reading is about the twelve concepts and general warranties of the program. I will admit I dont know a lot about this except when they have been referred to in a meeting. The writer connects the warranties with being able adjust attitudes in relation to making decisions in relationships and at work. What I understand is that the program generally helps us navigate these situations without taking everything personally.
I am extreme when it comes to decisions. I either come up with something and follow through immediately, or perseverate over a decision, making myself go in circles and unable to know whats right. I have found that when Im able to be less entangled emotionally with whatever choice Im trying to make, I can make a better decision and not agonize over it.
The writer describes avoiding conflict by listening to the viewpoints of others when making decisions, as it relates to his/her workplace. In this way stronger and more positive relationships are nurtured. I read through the warranties at the end of the book and the second one seems to apply here: that no Conference member shall be placed in unqualified authority over other members. This one makes me think of the strength in the program because of everyone as a group supporting one another. Im grateful for it!
My favourite concept is concept 4: "Participation is the key to harmony."
I learned the Steps, Traditions, Concepts and Warranties early on. In an open sharing meeting with AA where we went through the green 12x12 books for each programme.
Some of the principles we might not need but once in 40 years. But at that point, a decision might be pivotal for the strength and future of a group.
The point, where I live is that smaller communities would not sustain more than one group- so any conflict was best worked out.
In most urban centres people can just go round the corner to another group. But is dissent good for the conscience of any group? In our alcoholic homes some conflict is never resolved. Nor is it often resolvable.
We hope that matters in Alanon are resolvable. Some matters we do have to ask: "How important is it?"
One time I spoke with Betty about the Concepts. She did not know any groups who applied them. She said that groups she knew applied Traditions one and two, with a majority vote.
My view is that this would work mostly with group business issues. When or and when to hold a meeting- but might not work so well with conscience issues.
Concept 5, and Warranty 3 might sometimes be pivotal to the future of a group, at some vital time.
Discussing each of these would take two seperate shares. However, as I reflect there is one key issue here.
Most of us have not been heard in our lives- heeded... and some of us might even know what this is about.
So I believe that it is essential to hear out the individual and the minority voice.
It is about the difference between majority decisions and consensus.
Some people believe that both concepts- majority and consensus are one and the same. But in my view- they are not.
Sometimes, but not always, the singular view might be the right one, in the end.
Y'all kin see that this is a big deal for me. I come from a family system- where the right to a voice- for the individual was silenced. Where lose-lose decisions were the norm, rather than a win-win.
Could Alanon do better than this?
Well over time- through trials and mistakes- I would hope so...
If we are "works in progress" then our groups are too.
Progress, not perfection.
-- Edited by DavidG on Sunday 26th of July 2020 11:24:15 PM
Thank you Mary for your service and the daily! I'm so glad to see you - was going to send out a search party if we didn't see you today! Glad that all is well and I hope you also have a peaceful Sunday.
What I know is the closer I align with the program, as designed, the closer to center I am. At any point when I allow my will and my way to resurface - in family, at work, in activities, program, meetings, etc. I am more likely to suffer some level of consequences. My life, days, program, serenity and sanity are all better off when I keep things simple, align with what's been suggested by those who came before me and check my ego at 'the door'.
Happy Sunday MIP family! We are to have some rain tonight, which will hopefully break our extreme heat! We can use the rain and some more comfy temperatures!! Love and light all...
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thanks Mary and Free... 